It’s so easy to get swept up in the indulgent excesses of the holiday season. We work hard and experience highs and lows all year. We have the chance to reconcile and put things into perspective at its completion.
We find ourselves immersed in our own traditions, while at the same time making new ones with our families and friends and although continuing the customs we are used to is valuable, minor adjustments can be made to not only make them more meaningful, but also to guide children in understanding how we can use the holiday season to become better people.
Here are 10 important things to tell children this holiday season.
1. Let’s understand the different ways people celebrate
The festive season is an exciting time for children. Their understanding of it is simple. They know they will be on holidays from school, they will get presents and they will spend time celebrating with family and friends. Anything beyond that is unimportant to them. They are only aware of their limited experiences. The festive season is an opportunity for us to introduce them to knowledge outside of our own cultural saturation. We can bring to their attention the many ways that people all over the world celebrate the festive season, including multicultural holidays and those from different faiths.
2. Let’s acknowledge that some don’t or can’t celebrate
As children grow up their scope of awareness is only as wide as what we expose them to. Young children only consider what happens in their own family and friendship circles. Older children will start to understand that there is diversity of experience and opportunity within their own communities, their nation and worldwide. We should use this time to help them think about people that don’t celebrate at the end of the year for whatever reason. They may not want to, it may not be their tradition. Some people can’t afford to or are living in a part of the world that makes it impossible to.
With sensitivity and age appropriate language and ideas, we can start to show children that they are not the center of the universe and although their happiness is our primary concern, for some people, it is not a festive season at all and our children should develop this awareness. There are excellent ways to start a conversation with children about both war and poverty and we shouldn’t shy away from these topics when the opportunity presents itself.
3. Let’s make things
With the necessary sensitive stuff addressed, we can indulge in encouraging children to be creative and productive. The festive season provides endless inspiration to make things. From decorations, presents, cards, table settings, food and desserts, costumes and performances; children can be shown ways to avoid participating in the merchandise overload that floods our world at this time. Not only are there millions of ideas and step by step guides on the internet to try during the holidays, materials are abundant and available.
Children can make things from craft supplies, household items or re-purposed and recycled things they already own. They love being shown how to deconstruct something and make a new thing from it. Children love to dress up and perform and it does wonders for their confidence and self esteem. When children are encouraged to create they not only learn to be thrifty and artistic, they also make memories and that is priceless.
4. Let’s give stuff away
One of the central aspects of the holiday season is the giving of gifts. Aside from the obligatory presents that we show children to buy for family and friends, this time is a chance to explain to children the true meaning of giving. It is a good time to declutter. This is not only a necessary and useful habit to get children into, it exposes them to the notion of recycling and being generous. We can get them to give away toys and clothes they have outgrown to those less fortunate.
Throughout the year it is a good way to show children how to care for things so that they can be passed on and to educate them about valuing things instead of treating things as disposable. We can also introduce them to charity and making donations. Perhaps they can put aside a little bit of their pocket money or cash gifts to contribute something to a cause they care about like animal welfare or underprivileged or sick children. Something they can relate to.
5. Let’s ask for the right things
Traditionally children are compelled to make lists and think about what they want to receive as gifts. We are certainly bombarded by the promotion of goods marketed directly at children. Children talk about what they wish for among themselves and we perpetuate those desires further to make shopping easier and to give them what they want.
Instead of filling our homes with more objects that provide instant gratification and are soon tossed aside to be replaced by the next fad, why not show children how to appreciate gifts of a less material nature. We can urge them to ask for experiences. How about tickets to a show, membership to a museum or zoo, a gift purchased in their name to an overseas charity, an outing or holiday, an adventure.
6. Let’s eat well
Let’s face it, we all over indulge a little during the holidays. It’s time to simplify how we partake in feasting to celebrate this time. It’s a great opportunity to be examples to our children about how to make healthy and enjoyable choices. We can all afford to reduce the amount of sugar and salt we consume. We can think about how to access humanely sourced food and we can be aware of how we consume alcohol in front of children. We can also include them in the preparation of food and the cleaning up afterwards, regardless of their age or gender. It should be a time when everyone feels included and contributes.
7. Let’s spend time with loved ones
Family is one of the most important things in life whether they are blood relations or people we have chosen as our circle of kin. For children, feeling as though they belong to a group is paramount. The festive season is a time to put differences aside and promote getting together with the important people in our lives. We can include our children when we visit relatives and reconnect with people we have not seen throughout the year. This time of year is a good time to slow down. We get so busy during the year that we barely spend any quality time with our loved ones. The festive season is an opportunity to regroup; with parents, siblings, cousins, aunties and uncles, grandparents and close friends.
It’s nice to get everyone under one roof for one day, but getting everyone to be in the same place at the same time for a few days can truly center us and is worth a try. These days we can rent holiday houses, organize camping trips and even connect across continents online. Once we have touched base with our foundation and reunited with loved ones, then we can return to our busy lives. We can show our children who the important people in their lives are and why they matter.
8. Let’s be grateful
Being surrounded by loved ones and abundance this holiday season makes us the luckiest people in the world and we should point out to our children that we ought to be grateful. Making them aware of what they have and that it isn’t the situation for everyone helps us to build gratitude and empathy in children. It’s a chance to help them put things into perspective and really understand what matters. It isn’t about the objects we get as presents or all the gratification we get, but rather the love and security we experience.
9. Let’s reflect on the year that has passed
The end of year festivities allow us to reflect on all that has happened throughout the year, whether it was positive or not. We should talk to children about their achievements and triumphs; the things that made them happy, things they learned or did for the first time. New places they visited and new friends they made. We should reminisce with them about the milestones they have reached and how they have grown and changed from the previous year.
We should also give them the courage and confidence to ponder the moments that made them sad, frightened, unhappy or confused. They need to feel safe to confront the negative experiences in their lives and together talk about what they have learned and gained from them. Reflection teaches children to contemplate their place in the world and their rights, obligations and privileges. It gives them perspective and builds trust and resilience.
10. Let’s look forward to the year ahead
The end of the year is a way for children to comprehend that as things come to an end, we make room for new beginnings. The festive season, above all else is about hope. It forces us to consider what has been and look forward to what is ahead. By learning to set goals and make plans, children discover how to put their minds to a task and determine what they will accomplish. It teaches them self determination, agency, independence and perseverance. It gives them permission and aptitude to take their lives in their own hands and own their destiny.
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