How do you define a cheater? A dishonest crook, a person who is selfish and unconcerned with the world around them. Being a responsible and ideal lover requires a degree of commitment, honesty, and truth. With such things, it is easier to navigate a relationship.
One who cheats doesn’t really think of preserving, rather they think of expunging and releasing. What is a relationship without some loyalty and certainty? It’s important to consider the effects and consequences of cheating when you look at what you want to protect, rather than at the immediate satisfaction you will achieve.
Once, I may have believed that being with another woman would liberate me and give me something that was missing in my relationship, but the truth is that there is no shelter elsewhere — only devastation to your own self and to your relationship.
True love never involves cheating. Your partner should protect you and look out for your best interests, always wanting you to be happy. If you have cheated in the past, you may being lying to yourself about your true feelings. Here are some reasons why you don’t love the person you cheated on, even if you say you do.
You are not being selfless
How can you say you love someone when you are not willing to make some compromise and let some things go? True love is selfless and sacrificial. And there is nothing selfless and sacrificial about cheating on your partner.
You are not solid in the relationship
When cheating comes into play, you may think you love your partner, yet that love is one that’s easily shaken. True love is solid. It is stable and complete. It does not need anything extra. When love cannot be consistent and stable, then it is not true love and it does not mean much.
You are not confrontational when it’s needed
If you care and have deep feelings, you don’t run away from the person you care for or look for another outlet to gain pleasure. I’ve met people who claimed to cheat because they just wanted to use it as an outlet, a means of dealing with some issue. They wanted to explore and engage in an adventure because they felt restless. If you love your partner truly, you deal with those issues head on and as a team. Both sides need to be present to make their voices heard in a working relationship.
You don’t embrace the positives of your relationship
Love is supposed to be a positive state of being. Joy, richness, depth, and trust are born out of love. Cheaters take these things for granted and always want something more. What they fail to consider is that the consequences of cheating are all negative — guilt, mistrust, lies, and betrayal. It may be easy for you to take love for granted, but those who take love seriously understand that all its greatness outweighs any immediate pleasure gained from cheating.
You are not accepting of your partner
Love is not indirect. It never drifts, digresses, or gets distracted. True love means truly accepting your partner and everything that comes along with them. If you are on the right track, you will also seek acceptance from your partner, rather than pursue other alternatives. If you cheat, it means that, on some level, you have not wholly accepted your partner and the relationship.
You are not a believer
When people tell me that they are cool with cheating, I ask myself this question: do they believe in the actions they are taking? When you love someone, you believe what the person tells you and expect the same in return. This is how trust is born. Cheating is a violation of this. If you take away this trust and belief, what is left of the relationship? If you believe that true love involves cheating in any sense, you are kidding yourself.
At the end of the day, cheating is cheating — it is wrong. It may be okay to admire others when you are in a loving relationship, but taking action or pursuing something that would work against your relationship is not love. It is poison. If you truly love someone, not cheating is easy.
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