Science Says Unfinished Things Attract/Disturb You Because Your Brain Remembers Them Better

Recall a time when you were put under a lot of stress about finishing a task. Every day it went unfinished it would be a constant distraction in your head. This feeling of having slight (or crippling) anxiety of unfinished business is called The Zeigarnik Effect.

The Positive Side Of The Zeigarnik Effect

In layman’s terms, unfinished business can be summed up as “loose ends.” From Zeigarnik’s research, he pointed out that humans — specifically the mind of a human — does not like when things are inconclusive. It’s a natural phenomena and one reason people can become hooked to certain T.V. shows. Most season finales end with cliff hangers and it digs at the mind of a person for a long time before it is finished. It leaves them begging for more. It is why movies like Inception or American Psycho leave people bewildered at what actually happened. I am a sucker for these types of movies, by the way, which makes sense as to why I can rarely ever relax when my to-do list is constantly full. I like it that way, it makes my mind work. That is the attraction of having unfinished business, it lets the mind wander on its own and into areas of critical thinking and theory developing. Is Leonardo Dicarpio’s character in a dream or in reality? Is Patrick Bateman really a psychopath?

The Negative Side Of The Zeigarnik Effect

But, unfinished business can have a detrimental aspect to it. Like I was mentioning with my work load, it can add a lot of unnecessary stress to people’s lives, especially when it has to do with work. It’s the idea of constantly being busy and never having a moment to relax because all you are thinking about is what part of the work needs to be done. It is an added pressure to find time to make sure that deadline is met or that the endless cycles of work becomes finished and checked off.

For relationships, it also makes people feel hard to let go of ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, as your relationships with them are like unfinished business, after making so many promises and having so much imagination spending the rest of your life with them.

This is also why the death of famous people that happen without warning are so tragic. For examples; Michael Jackson, Prince and David Bowie.

How To Manage Your Unfinished Business

This one sounds lackluster and too easy to be utilized, and it really is. To do lists! Instead of having your mind go over and over everything on your plate, write it down and set time to get it done. My laptop has sticky notes all over of what things need to get done and written by what day and it’s always there as a reminder, not a detrimental hamper. I have become more used to realizing that the pressure does not have to hinder my life. I set times apart from the rest of my days to get as much done as possible. I channel the natural positivity that can come with The Zeigarnik Effect and let my creativity ride through my work, being a busy body and cranking out the things I need to when I need too. As a journalist and a writer, my life is one constant email of deadlines and setting up articles places, so these to do lists make it a bit easier to not be overwhelmed by the massive amounts of unfinished business always — and I mean always — lurking around the corner.

The post Science Says Unfinished Things Attract/Disturb You Because Your Brain Remembers Them Better appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1WK4f0j

An Interesting Way To Organize Playlists That You’ve Never Imagined

Playlists can be a playful way to connect different genres of music together. A great playlist can help explain a certain cycle of life or a specific mood. Thus, organizing a playlist around a specific mood is a healthy and charming way to sit back and let the music take you away.

Usually, playlists are arranged in line with moods and feature descriptive sounds; common playlists include: sad music, soft hangover artists, discover new music weekly, chill, country and workout music. These playlists are organized neatly and have been that way for awhile, but what if I told you there was a new way to organize playlists that is inventive, fun and associated with different drinks?

It works like this: drinks are associated with different moods, so conveying their moods through music helps kill two birds with one stone. This way of organizing playlists helps the mind easily dissect what exactly it wants to hear by what determining what you want to be drinking. It’s a cute way to let your brain fire neurons and then be entertained by the choice of music coming through your ears.

The best part is drinks can convey different moods for different people and the playlists will not be the same. For example, a playlist entitled ‘Red Wine’ will probably be a nice relaxing playlist to associate with time spent before bed time, or it can be utilized as chilled out music to have in the background when your girlfriend or boyfriend is over and you’re chatting about life.

A playlist entitled “Energy Drink” will be the songs that you use to pump yourself up, maybe even to replace the old “Workout” playlist. When you organize your playlists correctly, everything will start sounding better and will make your mood more relaxed.

For me, I would have a playlist entitled “Chocolate Milk” that would be used to comfort me in dark times. I use Nesquik chocolate powder and mix it with milk as my own sort of remedy to calm my nerves during troubling times, especially if I cannot sleep, have a sleep paralysis episode, or right before work/after bed. In many situations, this playlist would work as the comforting songs that make me feel OK with life, whether it be that Sheryl Crow song or that Henrietta song, they all work together, In short, the playlist would be a great thing to utilize — preferably on shuffle — to just let music captivate me the way music is meant to do.

“Scotch” would be a playlist of heavier songs that give me a good mind buzz and makes my hair stand on edge listening to them, almost correlating with how it tastes to have scotch sliding down my throat and taking over my blood. Here, I would utilize more of my hardcore bands, such as Every Time I Die, Cancer Bats and Grizzly Knows No Remorse.

It continues on and on, but this idea for playlists really lets your mind playfully associate moods with drinks and songs with your mental state. Your mental state will playfully choose what to listen to, so try it out for yourself and organize a few playlists. See what music start doing for you.

The post An Interesting Way To Organize Playlists That You’ve Never Imagined appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1ZfOwFe

6 Ways Poker Can Help Build Your Confidence

Poker today is a global phenomenon and the figures are rising all the time. According to research commissioned by the non-profit PPA (Poker Players Alliance) around 70 million Americans play poker live and/or online – that’s more than 20% of the population. Another 100 million are thought to play the game worldwide.

Why then, is poker so popular? There must be more to poker’s attraction than its showbiz allure. On one thing, enthusiasts of all levels tend to agree: poker can build self-confidence, which might be the single most transferable skill of them all… Here then, are some suggestions as to why this might be so:

Conquer Maths Anxiety!

Maths anxiety, first identified in the 1950s, is the chronic fear of maths. If the prospect of doing maths brings you out in a cold sweat, the chances are that you too suffer from maths anxiety.

Maths anxiety is a fear of numbers. It’s surprisingly common – in the UK for instance, it affects some 16 million people; about a quarter of the population. It’s also surprisingly well-studied psychological condition, with research indicating that the panic induced by having to do math is so intense for some people that sometimes it even activates your brain’s “pain matrix.”

For sufferers, grappling with a maths problem releases stress hormones associated with the fight/flight reflex you could expect from confronting, say, a hungry tiger. Imagine the selfsame response, but provoked by something as banal as having to measure a carpet or decode a phone bill. Relax though, for help may be at hand.

As with any skill, mathematics gets easier, the more of it you do. The trick is to practise without at any point thinking of it as doing maths. And that’s where a game like poker comes in. The very mechanics of the game, the calculation of ever-shifting odds, is maths in motion. It may not feel like it, but during the course of play, your brain is making hundreds of percentage-based computations. At the green felt table, your brain can crunch all those numbers naturally and fearlessly, because it thinks it’s just playing a game.

Know The Measure Of Your Hand

Confidence is, in many ways, tied to competence. As you amass knowledge in a subject, confidence in your abilities grows proportionately. When you first begin to play poker, you’ll be either timid or reckless. But you will certainly not be good. You’ll make beginner’s mistakes. As you get a feel for the game, your play will become more assertive (perhaps overly so). Eventually a player reaches the enlightened state of knowing just what it is they know, and what they have yet to learn. And there’s always something. So, be confident in your abilities, and learn to recognise your limitations. This applies to all walks of life. Unless you have absolutely no idea what you’re doing, in which case…

Learn How To Bluff!

Poor Le Chiffre, betrayed in the ultimate high-stakes game by the shedding of a single ruby tear at a critical moment. Oh, the heavy hand of irony. A fictional playboy villain is hardly representative, but everyone, player or not, has a “tell”, a visual or verbal tic or cue that signals the onset of a sudden anxiety, a spasm of nerves or excitement. Some of these tells fall into what science calls microexpressions – incredibly brief in duration movements of the facial muscles, lasting only 1/25th to 1/15th of a second.

In poker, it is as crucial to successfully conceal your tell as it is to read that of another. If you find your opponent’s tells, you can spot when they’re bluffing. And vice versa. As each round progresses, you are called to check, bet, fold, call or raise, according to standard poker rules. Each of these actions are expected to show what you believe about your hand. Is it good or are you bluffing? What about your opponents?

The ability to spot a tell has a range of applications that go way beyond poker. On any given day you can expect to be lied to from 10 to 200 times, and more than 82% of these lies will slip by undetected, so learning how to spot a lie or a bluff is a useful skill in its own regard. Unconvinced? Just ask Pinocchio – who would have made for a much worse poker player than Le Chiffre.

The Importance Of Eye Contact

Eyes are the proverbial “windows to the soul.” A steady gaze appears to denote frankness and confidence. The key word here is appears.

Failure to maintain eye contact is perceived as weakness, unreliability. Doubtlessly, the other extreme is equally unwelcome – everyone must surely feel the need to blink occasionally. In fact, the average person will blink 6-10 times per minute – less than this is just plain scary, whilst a higher blink rate tends to signal attraction, anxiety or excitement. Or possibly a slipped contact lens. Maintaining good eye contact is a crucial skill – especially for salespeople, managers and pretty much everyone, when it comes to interpersonal relationships.

Dress To Impress?

Professional poker players are often snappy dressers. Picture the archetypal riverboat gambler, suited in linen and silks. Compare this image with a modern-day celebrity player – fashions have changed of course, but still the poker player is, more often than not, impeccably tailored.

His/her image is a projection, the physical manifestation of ‘confidence’ – and in poker, confidence born from skill translates as wealth, to be measured in winnings. A “good” player may dress expensively (not necessarily ostentatiously); it’s part of their bluff, they are dressing to impress. Often, to intimidate. At the same time, you may notice a lot of poker pros do the exact opposite: they choose generic getups. This way, their opponents will possibly underestimate them, which in effect gives them an advantage. There’s also something to be said about comfortable clothes – being physically comfortable allows you to be more efficient in any situation. A 2012 Northwestern University study confirms all this: “enclothed cognition” is the influence that your clothes have on your psychology and mood, and it was proven to make a huge difference.

What can we get out of all this? Simply taking a moment to think about what your attire conveys about your personality is enough to help you make better choices. Let’s not forget, if your clothes make you feel confident, you move in an all-together more attractive manner. Which by happy coincidence makes you appear more confident than perhaps you really are. A virtuous circle.

Sharpen Up Your Conversational Skills

Poker is a social game. Other players are involved. You’ll have to sit near them and everything, there’s really no avoiding it. At semi-regular intervals, you’re going to have to talk to them; unless you’re actually playing a robot, conversation will be exchanged.

You may be the shyest person in the world, a wilting violet in a dark and shadowy corner, but through playing poker, a veritable spotlight will freeze you in its beam each and every round, and you’ll have to learn to deal with it. That’s not bad at all. Even if you choose not to put them to use very often, social skills are very important in life and can make all the difference when you’re trying to land that dream job or even get a date.

There are indeed many social, mental and psychological benefits to playing a simple, enjoyable game like poker. But perhaps the biggest one of all is the card game’s capacity to help you strengthen your self-confidence. So unwind a little, smile, crack a joke as you play; after all, if you play your cards right, you could be sitting at that table for a long time…

References & Sources for Further Reading:

1. mathgoodies.com – Understanding and Overcoming Anxiety
2. impactfactory.com – Use Eye Contact to Create better Relationships
3. phoenixcounsellingnw.co.uk – Building Self Confidence
4. pokerstars.com – Understanding the Rules of Poker
5. careerproinc.com – How to sharpen Your Communication Skills

Featured photo credit: Entrepreneur via entrepreneur.com

The post 6 Ways Poker Can Help Build Your Confidence appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1WK4h8w

When You Feel Heartbroken, Your Physical Heart Might Hurt Too, Science Says

A broken heart has been utilized as an image to describe what the deepest sadness can truly be. It usually comes from losing a partner or being placed in a spot of desperation and destructive depression. It’s a moment of time that leaves a person distraught and at a loss for what to do next. It’s one thing that many face when dealing with a terrible breakup or when a person they care for passes away. It has probably happened to you before, and whether or not you have overcome it, just know that others have gone through it and have felt the tearing apart of the heart that comes with the feeling.

It Feels Like A Heart Attack

Researchers have been studying if feeling heartbroken has a physical side too, as it’s always been just a way of expressing how upset or distressed a person is about the current situation. What they have found is something called “stress cardiomyopathy,” which causes a person to feel like they are having a heart attack. But now, new research has been done on atrial fibrillation, in which the stressors involved with the event cause the heart to beat in an irregular pattern. In the American study, researchers found that there is a high chance of developing atrial fibrillation as soon as a month after a loved one passes, and this risk remains high for up to a year. The more suddenly the event happened, the more at risk a person would be. They found that younger people have a greater risk of developing the irregular beat pattern.

This study is another example of how beautiful the human body is, showing a connection between both the mind and the heart. When the mind is in a mental state of despair, the body takes notice and reacts. In this case, it’s not entirely certain that the atrial fibrillation was directly caused by the experienced loss, but the positive correlation suggests that it helps increase the risk. That is what is important here. The body reacts to the news and shock in its own way, a way that potentially causes the beating muscle that is often associated with love itself to go into its own shock and change. It’s heavily indicated by the research that extreme traumatic stress can mess with how the heart and body continue to function, almost leaving a person feeling like a shell, trapped by their deep sense of heartbreak.

“Bereavement is a major life event, which is known to increase the risk of cardiovascular disease, mental illness and death,” notes the study. All three of these factors together can run rampant in a person’s body and cause them to feel trapped. Hearts can actually be broken.

What To Do

There are other ways to try and decrease stress caused by heartbreak. These include meditation, yoga, exercise, finding new hobbies, and centralizing your breathing. I remember a friend of mine telling me that breathing is the best way to soothe the corrupt soul that arises from stressful situations. “Ten deep breaths,” she always told me. I have believed in this ever since, and now I wonder how much simply breathing deeply can help you deal with heart-breaking feelings. A heart doesn’t have to be broken.

The post When You Feel Heartbroken, Your Physical Heart Might Hurt Too, Science Says appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1ZfOw8r

The Phrase You Should Never Say That Makes People Turn Away From You

“Yes…but” is a common phrase used by many people, however, it should readily be avoided. This phrase is often used to help make criticism sound more palatable. However, as it is used so frequently it often has an adverse reaction. Many of us switch off as soon as we hear these two words. “Yes…but” also gives the impression that a person is not truly listening. It sounds like they are dismissing what you are saying before you have even said it. Someone who is truly attentive to what you are saying will listen first and save their opinion for later.

Let’s take a look at some of the ways this phrase is used:

The break up

When you are in a relationship you may find yourself asking your partner: Are we good together? The last thing that you would like to hear is: “Yes…but.” If you get this reaction you are likely to assume that your partner finds faults in your relationship and is not entirely sure that you should be together.

The backhanded compliment

Many of you will at some point ask people for reassurance. For example, you may ask our friend: Do I look good? If your friend replies: “Yes…but,” you are likely to take this as a no. You may feel that they do not entirely approve of the way you look but are just saying yes to be polite. The “but” implies that they see something they do not like in the way you look.

The invitation refusal

When you host a party or simply have a few friends around for drinks you will ask them: Would you like to come? If you get the response “Yes…but” you are likely to take this as an excuse. It may seem to you like your friend is trying to get out of coming to your event.

Ask for assistance

Often you reach out and ask someone for help. If you ask: “Can you please help me?” and are met by the response: “Yes…but” you are likely to be offended. You are likely to take this as a no and feel like the person who you have asked for assistance does not really want to help. Stating yes at the beginning does not make the refusal to help sound any better.

Lack of support

You may find that sometimes you seek out reassurance and support from friends or family. You may ask them: Aren’t I right? The last thing you want to hear is: “Yes…but.” If you hear this phrase you may think that the person who uttered it does not want to back you up and support you.

Lack of approval

You tend to go about your daily chores independently but sometimes you would like to know if you are doing a good job. You ask the question: Am I doing a good job? Someone responds: “Yes…but.” This is obviously not the answer you were looking for. You were in search of approval and instead you got a disguised lecture.

Rejection

You may go out on a limb and ask someone: Would you like to join me? If you get the answer: “Yes…but” you are likely to feel rejected. You may assume that they are trying to get out of joining you and are simply saying yes to cover it up.

Lack of sympathy

You may not be feeling well and notice that your partner or friend does not seem to be as concerned or sympathetic as you expected them to be. You confront them: Aren’t you worried? They answer: “Yes…but” and immediately you feel like they are not truly concerned.

Lack of enthusiasm about your success

You achieve a momentous goal or do something you are really proud of achieving. You find that your friend does not seem to be very enthusiastic about your success. You ask them: Aren’t you happy for me? You hear the words: “Yes…but” and you immediately feel that your suspicions were correct. You conclude they are not genuinely happy and are just saying the yes bit to be nice; the “but” part is all that really counts.

The disguised put down

Sometimes people use the phrase “Yes…but” to disguise their criticism. For example, you may ask someone if you are doing a good job and they reply: “Yes…but”. In truth what they are saying is no but they are simply saying it in a way that makes their put down less obvious. In short, “Yes…but” is a phrase that should fiercely be avoided. It is often interpreted negatively and leaves the person who hears these words feeling badly.

The post The Phrase You Should Never Say That Makes People Turn Away From You appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1WK4etp

An Orangutan Fights Off A Boar Threatening Her Baby (7 pics)

Russian photographer Julia Sundukova captured an amazing scene in the Borneo jungle where a mother orangutan fought off a wild pig with the stick after he dangerously approached her and her baby.

How British Blokes And Ladies Celebrate British Bank Holiday: Mayhem Everywhere (30 pics)

Thousands of British party-goers went to Newcastle, the northern party capital, for three days of boozing last weekend. This is what it looked like after they started deserting pubs and night clubs.