sábado, novembro 14, 2015
France, stay strong! The world is with you.
France, stay strong! The world is with you.
Je Suis Paris.
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Simple yet Important Ways to Win Over INFJs
As a passionate student of life, I am always over-the-moon when a new method of verbalizing our many unique personality traits is made public. Two of my favorite analyses have been thanks to The 5 Love Languages and Your Personality Tree. I have read those two books numerous times over the past two decades, and can give them credit for how I communicate and relate with others in my adult years. Needless to say, I was excited and in awe at the accuracy of the lengthy results of my latest personality trait findings: I am an INFJ.
Originating from the findings of Swiss psychologist, Carl Gustav Jung, the 16 Personalities test allowed me, for the first time in my life, to be proud of a personality which had always been labeled as shy, awkward, and even snobbish. Little did those around me know, I was dying to be understood and accepted. As an adult, I have often referred to my adolescent and teen years as having been “God’s little joke.” Why else would He formulate a human concoction to be a pale-skinned, freckle-faced, redhead, who couldn’t even raise her hand in class to answer a question. Little did I know that there was a beast brewing inside of me—a force to be reckoned with—a diva of creativity and passion.
Not only am I an INFJ, but INFJ’s actually only make up one percent of the population. Like the Amur leopard, I am a rarity. I am special. I have read many articles stating that redheads will be extinct one day, so, as a redheaded INFJ, I wonder if I could now be categorized (like the Amur leopard) as an endangered species. Let’s be honest, how many redheaded INFJs do you think are on this earth?
Melene McAlmont’s infographic below (as featured at Sensitive New World), will give you a quick snapshot of how to get one of the most unique personalities into your arsenal of friends. With an INFJ in your corner, you will officially have the tools to take on the world!
Featured photo credit: Womans hands connected With Tangled String via stokpic.com
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15 Struggles That People Who Are Hard On Themselves Would Understand
Being a person who is hard on himself or herself is very challenging. Some people think that we create our own problems by being hard on ourselves. The thing is it’s not natural for us to be kind to ourselves. We didn’t learn how to be compassionate to ourselves when we were young.
Here are 15 struggles that we people who are hard on ourselves would understand.
1. We seek perfection because of our past experiences.
We have zero tolerance for our own faults. Perfection is important to us. Remember the time when we are in school and our classmates laughed at us for making a mistake. It was an horrible experience. We don’t want to relive that again. So we work hard and plan excessively to avoid making any mistakes.
2. We are only hard on ourselves.
When other people make mistakes, we forgive them readily. We are kind to other people and set low standards for them. But when it comes to ourselves, we set impossible high standards that can never be reached. We believe that other people deserved to be treated kindly, but not us.
3. No matter how talented we are, we still think it’s not enough.
We focus on achieving success, but no matter how much we achieved, we still feel that it’s not good enough. We don’t recognize our own talents because we think that everyone can do what we do.
4. We find it difficult to accept criticisms, even the constructive ones.
It’s not because that we aren’t open to suggestions. It’s because people are telling us things that we already know about ourselves. We are good at finding faults with ourselves. Their criticisms just reaffirm how bad we know we are.
5. But we keep asking for feedback to seek reassurance.
Even though we seek perfection in everything we do, we don’t know what perfection is. Our parents never praise us when we did something good or when we get good grades in school. They don’t want to us get too big-headed. But that also made us feel that we didn’t do well enough all the time.
6. Yet, we can’t receive compliments.
We never hear enough positive things about us growing up. When people compliment us, it’s hard for us to believe what they said is true. We think that they are just being nice to us. So every time someone gives us a compliment, we would give the credit to something else.
7. We hate to open up and be vulnerable.
We are afraid to let others know that we are less than perfect. We know we aren’t the perfect child, the perfect parent, the perfect student, the perfect employee, the perfect boss etc. But other people cannot know about this. We feel insecure when other people know that we aren’t as strong as we looked.
8. We don’t ask others for help even when we need them.
Asking others for help makes us look weak. It also make us feel incompetent. We don’t want others to know that we can’t accomplished what we set out to do. No matter how hard it is, we want to do everything by ourselves. We want to be perceived as capable. So we help others and not let them return the favor.
9. We care very much of what others think of us.
We have difficulties saying no to others because we are afraid others might reject us too and think negative about us. Our self-worth is tied to what others think of us, so we try our best to please others.
10. We don’t want to disappoint others, especially our parents.
We try to get everything right the first time. It is painful to let other people see us fail. Failure not only affects our self-image, it affects our parents’ image too. Remember how disappointed they were with us when we got bad grades in school or messed things up. We want our parents and others to be proud of us. We don’t want to let them down.
11. We feel responsible for other people’s happiness.
We are quick to blame ourselves even when things don’t work out for others. For example, when our children didn’t turn out the way we expect them to be, we blame ourselves for not being good enough parents or not loving enough. If other people’s needs aren’t satisfied, we always see us as the problem.
12. We always ask for forgiveness.
We always feel guilty about our mistakes and apologize to others frequently. “Sorry” is our mantra. We don’t know how to forgive ourselves for our mistakes. If others can forgive us, at least that would make us feel much better.
13. We keep thinking about the things that we did and the things we didn’t do.
We are full of regrets. We are always haunted by our past. We always reprimand ourselves for not doing it better, so that we would learn and not to make the same mistakes again. However, we still make the same mistakes over and over again.
14. We punish ourselves to make us feel better.
Other people think that we create our own problems by being hard on ourselves. That’s not the case. We punish ourselves so that we feel less guilty for the things we have done. We don’t know how to be compassionate towards ourselves. Being hard on ourselves makes us the victim and we can sympathize with that.
15. Deep down inside, we don’t love who we are.
We don’t love ourselves. We think that we are worthless and don’t deserve a good life. However, we don’t share it with other people. Instead, we portray a perfect image for ourselves because we are too ashamed to show our real self.
Featured photo credit: I Died So I Could Haunt You / Helga Weber via flickr.com
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6 Actions Successful Leaders Take To Enhance The Collaboration Of Their Teams
Collaboration and teamwork is becoming more and more important in the modern workplace. Though each member of a team usually specializes in a single area, they all have to make sure they’re “on the same page” throughout every step of a project or process. As a leader, your job is to make sure all of your employees are striving toward a common goal. Here are some actions that successful leaders implement in order to make that happen.
1. Make your expectations known
Face it: the members of your team would be happy to sit in their cubicles all day, do the work that’s been assigned to them, and go on their way at five o’clock. It’s up to you to connect individual team members with each other at different stages in the process. Rather than having each member reporting directly to you if they face an issue, they should first be consulting with their colleagues to figure out a solution on their own. By expecting your employees to be autonomous, you’ll end up increasing the productivity of the office as a whole.
2. Have a system
Luckily, we live in a time in which technology has made collaboration incredibly easy. Services such as Transpose allow team members to share information, schedules, and memos with the click of a button. These online databases streamline a company’s workflow by allowing team members to stay in constant communication with one another, regardless of their physical location. When each member of your team is on board with using these electronic means of collaboration, productivity will skyrocket.
3. Promote engagement
Of course, there will always be those who prefer to work alone, or who are averse to learning how to operate a new system. As their supervisor, you need to, again, make your expectations clear and show them the benefits of collaboration. Consistently promote the idea that, though they are individuals, they are a part of a much bigger whole, and without their buy-in, the team will suffer. Provide team-building seminars and exercises that will help those who struggle to collaborate see the value in effective communication and teamwork.
4. Model flexibility
Of course, no team will go long without disagreements between individuals. However, this doesn’t have to be a bad thing. Disagreements happen, but it’s how they are dealt with that determines whether a team is pushed forward or held back. As a leader, you can model flexibility and compromise in a variety of ways. Show your team members it’s not about “getting their way,” but about finding a middle ground on which everyone is content.
5. Be a problem solver
If a disagreement gets too out of hand, you’ll need to step in and mediate the issue right away. When team members aren’t able to compromise on their own, it will be up to you to set each individual straight. Sometimes, this might mean they’ll both walk away unhappy. But they’re adults, and they’ll get over it. As the leader of a team, you need to be able to remove emotions from the playing field and see things from an objective perspective in order to know what’s best for the company.
6. Be a participant
Most importantly, as a supervisor of a team, you’re still a member of the team. You can’t rule with an iron fist, or a “do as I say, not as I do” attitude. Doing so will only cause dissension among the ranks. As a leader, you should be the most active member of the group, constantly bouncing ideas off one another, promoting teamwork and collaboration whenever possible. By doing so, not only do you set the standard and act as a role model, but you also actively monitor the performance of your team in a much more positive way.
Featured photo credit: Collaboration / Chris Lott via farm1.staticflickr.com
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20 Ways To Look Marvelously Hot In Winter
Each fall is practically Christmas for all fashionistas worldwide. Runways are filled with fresh ideas, innovative approaches and creative designs, so it’s pretty hard to keep your focus on one thing only. However, when the whole thing is over we can easily determine what the must-wear items are, thanks to the general highlights and those items which made a strong personal impression on us individually.
As far as I’m concerned, there are twenty different trends and currents that all fashion enthusiasts should be aware of. Being fabulous isn’t an easy task – it comes from thorough research, so start reading.
1. OTK Boots
Whether you have visited a runway show or not, I’m positive that you have witnessed the development of this trend – over-the-knee boots are practically the base of the street style this fall. Everywhere I turn I see a pair of gorgeous OTK boots staring at me, so this is a must-have item. Among other stylish suggestions on their runway show, Burberry went a step further with their boot designs.
2. High Waist
I’m thrilled that high waist is big again. There’s probably nothing more feminine than when a women emphasizes her gentle waist. Besides, a good belt or a great cut can do wonders for your figure, so you should experiment until you find the right design.
3. One Shoulder Cut
Showing skin is a gray area – no one can really draw a strict line that parts tasteful from plane rude, so everything is mostly up to personal taste. But, there’s one cut everyone will agree on – whether you go with a one shoulder dress or shirt, you won’t make a mistake. Besides, it adds a little bit of mystery to the outfit.
4. Ladies Wear Gloves
Here’s another trend comeback that made me really happy – gloves. I love them in all shapes, textiles and sizes because there’s something quite distinguishing about them. Whether you’re a glove person or not, you should be wearing them – they protect your skin and make you look stylish. This is one of those stylish tips no woman should ever miss out on.
5. Victorian is Back
If you’d like to add a bit of edge to your outfit, garments inspired by Victorian era fashion should definitely be a part of you fall collection. These bold pieces really contribute to making you look classy and powerful, so if that’s an impression you’d like to leave go all Victorian.
6. Soft, Feminine Bohemian
On the other hand, if Victorian era clothes aren’t really your cup of tea, and you’d prefer to celebrate your femininity through more casual outfits, your choice of clothes should be Boho and Boho only. It’s quite nice that there’s a trendy selection from the opposite end of the spectrum, so that no one feels like they’ve been denied a chance to let their personality shine.
7. Put on Some Fuzz
Putting together an outfit that’s both beautiful and useful isn’t always easy, but now you can combine stylish and warm clothes thanks to fuzz. It’s everywhere really – on collars, cuffs, waist – so you won’t have to suffer out in the freezing cold this winter in the name of fashion.
8. All in White
We all know that a classic white shirt is one of those essential ten items that should be found in every woman’s closet, but this fall is practically a golden age for those who adore white in general. It’s quite strange, because these collections are usually inspired by fall colors, but we can all agree that going for white is a nice change of pace.
9. Patches Are In
Once again, the complete opposite of bright and white, those who are fond of vividly colored garments will be able to find a wide selection, because this fall is all about the patches, and my suggestion is to go with ponchos.
10. Eastern Motives
The lands of the East have a long, recognizable history, and the motives that are derived from it carry strong symbolism. This fall, you’ll be able to see a lot of garments inspired by Eastern cultures – they’re quite enigmatic and mystical, which makes them very desirable.
11. Dramatic Capes
If you’re up for a bit of drama, now is the right time to get a cape. Many different brands decided to go with them as an important part of their collections, so you’ll have a wide selection with different lengths and buttoning available.
12. Powerful Pant Suits
There’s something irresistible about menswear – similar to Victorian inspired clothes, pant suits make every women feel strong and powerful. You’ll be able to find these outfits in fifty shades of gray – literally. The women who can’t get enough of menswear should definitely check out what else is trending. These clothes can really drag you in, so remember to put on something Boho from time to time, just so you don’t wake up one morning and see that you essentially have a men’s closet.
13. Slip Dresses
This isn’t one of those things that are designed to subtly hint at the untold natural beauties hiding beneath layers of fabric – obviously, slip dresses can be taken off in a matter of seconds. If you’re wondering what you should wear on your big date, look no further.
14. Comfy Culottes
Fashion isn’t always comfortable – as a matter of fact, it isn’t in most cases and all fashionistas know it. However, this fall brings us culottes, so you can have a break from time to time and enjoy those rare moments of comfort. The thing that makes them so attractive is their skirt-like appearance – so you’ll be wearing pants, look feminine in them and be comfy the whole time. Pretty awesome, right?
15. Fringe, Fringe, Fringe
If you like when your clothes do dancing movements while you walk, you need to get at least a couple of different garments with fringe. Fashion is all about finding a way to express your personality, and if you’re playful and fun your clothes should be as well.
16. Windowpane Check
It’s like Scottish plaid has been minimalized – like everything in fashion lately. The windowpane check design is everywhere; on skirts, dresses, coats and pants, so you really can’t make a mistake whatever you decide to go with.
17. Polka Dots
Whether they are in black and white, big or small, polka dots somehow can’t go out of style. They emit that lively 50s spirit which was the age of huge divas, so if you’re up for something evergreen, this is the pattern to go with. The fact that you decide to go with something classic like this doesn’t mean you fall into fashion stereotypes you see day after day – it only means you know what’s good.
18. Duster Coats
Sure, capes are dramatic, but if you want to achieve a truly dramatic look that draws the attention of the whole room when you enter and enables you to turn heads on the street, a duster coat is an absolute must have.
19. Cozy Knitwear
When you’re feeling a bit less dramatic, and when you want your clothes to keep you warm, knitwear should be your choice. This fall brought us many different designs and patterns and you should be happy to know that all of them are quite cozy.
20. Fall Colors
Other than white, there are no particular surprises this year, you just need to get the shade right. Naturally, burnt orange and olive and army green should be the base of your fall palette, and you should climb your way up from there with dusty violet, different shades of gray, and earthy brown tones.
That pretty much covers it. I’m really looking forward to seeing what the next big trend that will break the internet is, but I’m sure it will be one of these twenty runway ideas. What’s your favorite?
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