Tema: Palavra
As palavras de amizade e conforto podem ser curtas e sucintas, mas o seu eco é infindável
via @notiun
quinta-feira, junho 11, 2015
Neto, Coelho
Não perguntes à Felicidade quem ela é nem de onde veio: abre-lhe a porta para que ela entre e fecha-a bem aferrolhada, para que não fuja
@notiun
@notiun
Some talk to you in their free time, and some…
Some talk to you in their free time, and some free their time to talk to you.
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15 Things People Who Go To Therapy Never Told You
Society seems to be biased about mental health and those that go to therapy. Even Tony Soprano saw a therapist during most of the popular show The Sopranos, but he definitely kept that fact from family and friends for fear of being judged or ridiculed. There seems to be quite a few generalizations about people who go to therapy. Some might think we are crazy, or that we all need medication. We take a look at all the positive things about therapy and how it really can change our lives for the better. Here are 15 things people who go to therapy never told you. The basis of this list is to break the societal stigma that somehow there is something wrong with people who go to therapy.
1. We are less stressed.
Sometimes it is hard to keep everything that might be going wrong in our lives bottled up. The more it stays inside our head and heart, the harder it is to relax. After talking to a therapist, life seems less heavy and after sharing something important with another person while receiving a few useful tips and pointers, we are able to improve the way we currently choose to live our lives. It is definitely helpful when talking to someone regularly about any issues in our lives.
2. We are learning new tools to combat future issues.
Boundaries. Communication Tools. Staying out of codependent patterns. Most of these points might sound like “therapy talk”, but setting boundaries with others that are hurting our emotional health are necessary to be able to protect ourselves from further harm. Most of these ideas and tools are not widely taught outside of therapy or recovery circles, but they are common conversations when talking to a therapist.
3. We are not doing it alone.
Isolation can be detrimental. If we go into our head and spend days there ruminating about negative thoughts, feelings or problems it usually makes the problem feel bigger. Many times isolation just makes the already bad situation worse. The fact that seeing a therapist means that we are not going through life alone, it definitely helps. Using a professional to help with our mental health issues, we have made that first vulnerable step to go to therapy and share parts of our lives with someone else. There is healing even in taking that first step to seek out and set up an appointment with our therapist.
4. We are actually utilising someone unbiased in our lives.
Sometimes taking our problems and issues to a best friend or family member can damage the relationship. The other negative of sharing our issues with others that know us pretty well could end up hurting more than helping our situation. The friend or family member might tell us what we want to hear, not necessarily what we need to hear. It is helpful to have someone that has no previous bias about who we are or how we have lived our lives. The more our therapist gets to know us, they can offer sound advice and sometimes point out when we might be playing the victim or not fully owning up to our own responsibility in any given situation. It is good to have someone that will help us discern the truth in our situation and not our own perceived reality.
5. We are getting out of denial.
Denial is a condition in which someone will not admit that something sad or painful is true or real. In some situations, it is a defence mechanism to shield us from severe abuse or harm. It works for a while, but it has no long term benefit in our lives and it eventually will surface sooner or later. Seeing a therapist helps us sift through our past hurts and negative events that might be affecting our current lives. The more time spent talking to a therapist, the easier it is to realise when and where we might have been using denial to avoid certain feelings. The most important thing is that once we are aware of our own denial, we can finally begin to change.
6. We are changing the way we do things, for the better.
Going to therapy helps improve communication with others, helps with how we choose to react in certain situations and figuring out what we truly are responsible for in our own lives. The longer we are in therapy, the more we figure out healthy ways to react to negative or complicated situations. A licensed professional can give us sound and important suggestions on how we can improve the way we choose to live our lives.
7. We are taking care of our mental health.
When we a have a cold, we go to the doctor. When we need help with our fitness goals, we hire a personal trainer. When we need help with our finances, we go to a financial advisor. Why would it be any different when we need help sorting out our thoughts or problems in our lives? Seeing a therapist helps us take care of our mental health so that we can live our lives in a more positive and balanced way.
8. We are not afraid to be authentic.
We get out of therapy what we put into it. Being authentic and truthful as best as we can with our therapist only benefits how we can improve our current situation. A therapist is a safe person to share past and current experiences with, and the more we trust our therapist, the more authentic and real we become with family and friends. The truth is that no one is perfect, it is not possible to be perfect. The more forthcoming we can be with others about our own issues or struggles, the more trustworthy we become.
9. We are letting go of our past hurts.
Most people believe the only thing talked about in therapy sessions is our past. The past is important because many of our belief systems were formed while growing up. When talking to a therapist, the past is only the main topic for a certain amount of time. Once it is realised that some of our bad habits are directly related to our negative past experiences, that awareness alone allows for better reactions and choices to be made with future issues or struggles.
10. We know that it’s not a shame to go to therapy.
After talking to a therapist for a while and getting some answers and healing in certain areas of our lives, we feel good about our decision and start talking to family and friends about the successes we have had from going to therapy. This doesn’t mean we are talking about the person we share that information with during our sessions. We also don’t expect the person we tell to feel sorry for us because we are in therapy. We are taking care of our mental health and all we want from friends and family that we share the fact that we go to therapy with, is love and support.
11. We go for as long as we need to.
Going to therapy does not mean we go forever. Everyone is different and many issues can be worked through in a matter of months, or we occasionally can check in every 6 months after working through the majority of what we came to work on to begin with. We do form a bond with our therapist so it is hard to just stop going altogether because we respect and form a safe and trusting relationship with our therapist.
12. We are still in control of our own thoughts and decisions.
When we go see a therapist, we are not told what to do. We are actually asked many questions in return and most of the time we are nudged in the direction we need to go. Many answers we are looking for, we find out after sharing important bits of information and getting back suggestions that help us figure out the answers. We are not controlled by our therapists, they are just there to help us reach the goals we wanted to reach when we first started.
13. We are more accepting of ourselves and others.
Once we realise a few of our faults and habits that have currently held us back, we realise that we accept the good and bad of who we are and we can enjoy our lives and others around us even more. Negative self talk and low self worth can be detrimental to our happiness. The sooner we fully accept the good and the bad within ourselves and others instead of holding others to certain expectations, the sooner we can move forward and live our lives without anything holding us back.
14. We are open to trying new things.
We learn new things in therapy. We learn to journal our thoughts, to ask ourselves hard questions so we can find out the very important answers. We sometimes do ‘homework’ assignments and we are sometimes asked to do things a little differently and report back on how our new attitude or reaction worked out for us. If we struggle with anger or resentment toward certain people, we are asked to consider exploring the possibility of forgiveness. We agree to try new things even if we may not want to at first, we know in the long run it will help us learn how to have positive and healthy reactions instead of our old negative patterns.
15. We are not weak.
Some may view us as weak because we seek out professional help for certain issues or situations we can’t quite tackle on our own. We realise that admitting we need someone else to guide us in the right direction is the best decision for us and going to therapy was not an easy decision. We decide that society’s view of “sucking it up” and “figuring it out on our own” is not the best advice. We realise in the end, we are choosing to make positive changes in our lives instead of staying in our previous mode of insanity which was doing the same thing over and over again but expecting a different result each time. We are strong for deciding to change our lives for the better, and we finally realise we no longer care what others think about us anymore because we know that going to therapy is the best thing to do for our own mental health.
Featured photo credit: JD Hancock via photos.jdhancock.com
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12 Tactics Smart Job Applicants Never Told You
Do job applicants even know how to apply to companies anymore?
Apparently not because Internet job boards still exist, and people still create cover letters.
I remember wondering when employers didn’t respond to me and I could never make it to the second interview. But then I worked in a recruiting position for five months and had a period where I went through ten jobs in several years to find one that fit my skills perfectly. I had all the odds against me to land another job: considered a job-hopper, poor work references, and a startup spirit.
Even so, I continued to land job after job using specialized tactics that I knew worked. Many of them are common sense, but sometimes you just have to hear it from someone who’s gone through the job applicant path ten times over.
If you’re looking for a job, here are the twelve tactics smart job applicants never told you.
1. They know Internet job boards have the worst jobs.
Great companies don’t waste their time posting on internet job boards. They compensate with their brand. Ambitious job seekers will naturally go to their websites or companies looking for the job application process. It’s an easy way to weed out those who are determined and those who are not.
For small companies without a brand and a ton of potential, you can find them on AngelList and Crunchbase.
Keep in mind, applying using Internet job boards keeps you as just another faceless resume and cover letter. The truth is your personality is everything when finding a job that will fit you, so if you’re just another resume, you’re not applying the right way.
2. They don’t admit to being a job-hopper; they just say they’re a freelancer.
Employers still frown upon job-hopping. Even in today’s fast-paced world with constant innovation, and the need to switch projects quickly, they want someone who will be committed.
At almost every interview I’ve had, they’ve asked me if I’m a job-hopper. I simply reply, “I’ve been freelancing.” Not only does this make me seem independent, reliable, and able to complete projects without supervision, but I receive much more respect. In an instant, I’ve turned my biggest hurdle to the job process into a huge benefit.
I suggest doing some freelance work, so you’re not lying to them. There’s nothing worse than a job applicant who doesn’t speak the truth.
3. They know their best option is to walk in with their resume.
Applying for jobs online is outdated. I suggest going directly to the company with your resume. Each time I’ve done this, I’ve received numerous compliments on my courage and determination. Moreover, almost every time, I was sat down for an immediate interview.
Companies want to hire the type of employee who’s willing to walk in and hand the boss their resume because it shows you’re willing to go above and beyond to get work done.
4. They know small growing companies don’t want the suit and tie.
When a corporation has hundreds or thousands of employees, their company culture deteriorates, and everyone begins to wear a suit and tie and look like clones. When you’re working for a small growing company and possibly right next to the CEO, they want someone who has a personality they can work with.
The suit and tie look doesn’t say anything about your personality. Moreover, the suit and tie are for those who need to cover up their lack of expertise with good looks.
5. They know wearing glasses improves their chances.
Hiring managers and employers have a biased perception on how interviewees look. I’ve received much more positive feedback when I wear glasses. Employers naturally assume I’m smarter and more reliable.
So, if you don’t have glasses, I suggest a pair of inexpensive fake ones.
6. They know employers only care about the numbers on your resume.
Fancy job titles don’t mean anything. You can invent your job title up; however, you can’t fake the numbers from completed projects. I suggest almost every line on your resume contain a number reflecting what you’ve accomplished.
For instance, if I said I built a better customer relationship management system for our company, the employer would have no idea what that means. If I told them I had built a customer relationship management system that resulted in $40,000 more revenue and a 7% improvement in customer support satisfaction—now that’s cool.
7. They arrive with a checklist of the immediate value they can provide.
I’ve landed several jobs by sending the hiring manager a thirteen-page write-up on what I can do for the company once I start. If they know you can provide immediate value, then they are less likely to hesitate to hire you. This tactic has won a job for me fifty percent of the time. It’s an all-in method, but the employers give you tremendous respect.
8. They join companies with less than twenty employees if they’re looking for growth.
I don’t care if the corporation you work for is Facebook, Apple, or Google. If you’re the fifty thousandth employee there, then you’re the fifty thousandth employee in a corporate environment with little room for growth. I’ve worked with people who held jobs at all three of these companies, and I’ve learned more in a year of working for a small company than they learned in several.
The reason: The earlier you’re in a company, the more risk you have to take and more responsibility you must pick up. Both of these factors quickly push you up the learning curve. It’s harder but well worth it.
9. They know networking will always be the best way to land a job.
I know many entrepreneurs who skipped out on college because they receive incredible jobs purely through networking. They opted out from creating their resume to create a blog with a list of their projects and accomplishments.
Also, they attend numerous industry events where high-end players are immediately interested in speaking to them because of their enormous ambition for their age. When you’re the only person at a networking event under the age of twenty-five, people take good notice.
10. They know cover letters are for those who don’t have exceptional qualifications.
You don’t need to bring a cover letter if you’re applying in person because you can quickly recite everything on that piece paper in a couple of minutes. So, if you created a cover letter and are wondering why you haven’t received a job offer, it’s because you’re applying in channels that require that piece of paper.
Remember, you’re a human being, not two sheets of scribble. If you can find ways to reach out to companies and show them that you’re not part of the line outside their front door, then they’ll show you respect. Job seeking is all about perception.
11. They understand that traditional resumes won’t exist shortly.
By 2020, freelancers are expected to make up 50% of the workforce. Freelancers don’t have traditional resumes; instead, they have an online portfolio and excellent networking skills. These are the must haves to land a job in the next three to five years.
12. They believe corporate culture is more important than pay.
If you don’t like your fellow employees or your boss, you’ll hate your job. I’ve been there, and there are millions scared to leave this position because they might not land another job.
According to research, just 40 percent of U.S. employees trust their companies to keep their commitments; 52 percent don’t trust what their management tells them; 67 percent “do not identify with or feel motivated to drive their employer’s business goals.”
Sounds pretty awful, right?
If you’re looking to stay employed with a company for the long run, I suggest putting corporate culture first in mind. There’s nothing worst than working forty plus hours for a job you’re slow to get up for in the morning.
Most of all, continue to believe in yourself because your biggest obstacle is a lack of confidence.
Good luck on your job search!
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When you work, don’t waste time. Work all the time…
When you work, don’t waste time. Work all the time you work.
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20 Super Delicious Avocado Recipes That Are Beyond Your Imagination
When it comes to making delicious food, homemade recipes and health hacks have been passed down through generations across the centuries, leaving a plethora of dishes to pick from. Over recent years, food bloggers, chefs and all kinds of creative individuals have left their mark on the Internet with tasty concoctions. One of the most versatile and healthful foods, the avocado, has been used dozens of ways. We dug up some of the most impressive and mind-boggling avocado recipes currently available, and they’re below for your humble perusal.
1. Eggocado
Ever wanted to combine your love for eggs and avocados? Now’s your chance.
Photo Credit: Libby Perold
2. Guacamole Hummus
Avocado spreads and hummus are fantastic in their own rights. Feel like there was always a next level waiting somewhere, though? There is: Guacamole Hummus.
Photo Credit: Benj Shapiro
3. Avocado Ice Cream
Who said avocados should never be used in desserts? And speaking of desserts…
Photo Credit: Hannah Lin
4. Chocolate Mousse
Avocado makes a fantastic ingredient in chocolate mousse. So fantastic, that you’ll wonder how you ever remained content with regular mousse.
Photo Credit: Danielle Cahoon
5. Avocado Pesto
Sometimes it’s a well-placed dollop or dash of pesto that completes a meal. Including an avocado in that recipe will crank the flavor up a notch!
Photo Credit: Mulin Xiong
6. Avocado Pepper Salsa
The power of a delicious spread never ends with the versatility of avocados. This recipe for avocado pepper salsa will blow your guests away.
Photo Credit: Sydney Segal
7. Avocado Mango Smoothie
Looking for something on the fruity side, perhaps for breakfast? Avocados still have you covered. This avocado mango smoothie provides healthy fat and plenty of flavor in the morning.
Photo Credit: Haley Durham
8. Avocado Ricotta Toast
Avocado has a texture similar to butter, and using it as a topping on this toast recipe is prime.
Photo Credit: SpoonUniversity.com
9. Creamy Avocado Breakfast Smoothie
Pairing up fruit with avocado in this recipe is a home run combo. Blueberries are the clincher!
Photo Credit: Jessica Farber
10. Pomegranate Guacamole
Thought you knew everything about guacamole? Think again. This pomegranate guacamole infuses a passionate burst of fruitful power into the traditionally creamy and salted guacamole.
Photo Credit: Amanda Shulman
11. Chocolate Pudding
Desserts are never too far away on the menu, and avocado seems to have quite the affinity for chocolate. Why stop at chocolate mousse when you can have chocolate pudding as well?
Photo Credit: Christopher Testani
12. Green Milkshake
It’s not every day that you see an avocado as part of a milkshake, but this dessert means business. The avocado’s innate texture makes this milkshake a smashing success.
Photo Credit: Zeynep Ozyurek/iStock/Thinkstock
13. Avocado Fish Tacos
No recommendation of avocado recipes is complete without mention of tacos, and this recipe utilizes both avocados and grapefruits. Try this one out for an unbelievably fresh spin on a classic dish.
Photo Credit: Paulina Lam
14. Fruit And Veggie Smoothie
Have you always wanted the perfect balance between fruits and vegetables in a green smoothie? Look no further than this smoothie utilizing avocados.
Photo Credit: Joy Manning
15. Avocado Sushi
Need I say more? Here’s the recipe.
Photo Credit: Joy Manning
16. Avocado Black Bean Salad
Avocados are the perfect subtle, calm and smooth complement to a variety of spiced and ethnic dishes, and this black bean salad will have you returning for seconds.
Photo Credit: Joy Manning
17. Zesty Avocado, Quinoa And Tofu Salad
The power of salads continues with this quinoa, tofu and avocado salad. The cilantro and lime juice makes it irresistible.
Photo Credit: Joy Manning
18. Avocado Open-Faced Sandwich
Combine turkey, tomato and avocado, and you’ve got yourself an open-faced sandwich that will put the rest to shame.
Photo Credit: Joy Manning
19. Avocado Breakfast Tacos
What’s better than avocado in your breakfast tacos? Pretty much nothing!
Photo Credit: 12 Tomatoes
20. Chocolate Silk Pie
The king of all avocado recipes is the chocolate silk pie, and this recipe happens to be vegan and gluten free. The best part is, you’ll never taste the difference!
Photo Credit: Making Thyme For Health
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