You’re More Lovable If You Know How To Love Yourself

We’ve always been told that in order to love someone else we must first learn to love ourselves. It’s so important to be able to establish a close bond with the most important person in your life – you. How you view and see yourself ultimately reflects in everything that you do and every relationship that you have. Self-love is when you find such peace in the deepest part of your being, and you genuinely enjoy being in your own company. I don’t think that many people know what it truly means to “love themselves” so I’m going to clarify exactly what I mean.

Being gentle with yourself

We tend to be our own best and unfortunately worst critics. We are often so hard on ourselves we forget to take a step back and give ourselves a little break. It is normal to feel sad, hurt and afraid. We shouldn’t be ashamed when these feelings arise and try to ignore them, or mask them with bad habits. Sometimes people think that these feelings are a sign of weakness, but in actuality they are a sign of strength. It’s very important to become mindful of this, and allow yourself to feel exactly what you are feeling. During times when you feel this way, remember that you are only human. Life is hard, but be gentle on yourself. You’re the only you out there.

Let your experiences be as they are

Have you ever noticed that when you ignore your feelings or push them away they tend to come back with such intensity you almost cannot stand being in your own skin? It is overwhelming to feel unhappy feelings because they cause us to think and overthink. So instead, we somehow train our brains to completely push out those feelings so we don’t have to feel them.

Have you ever spoken to someone about a bad experience in their life that made them sad and hurt and they’ve said, “I don’t want to talk about it” or “I pretend it never happened”? This is a perfect example of someone who is not allowing themselves to feel the experience(s) for what it is or was. In the long run they are going to be causing themselves mountains and mountains of more pain. You must remember to feel your feelings as they come throughout every experience you have.

Your feelings will tell you everything that you need to know in order to take care of yourself, you just have to listen to them.

You know how to make yourself happy

Nothing you do is defined by another person which is what makes your relationships so much more valuable and special. You don’t rely on your partner or anyone else for that matter to make YOU happy. You’re fine sitting at home on a Friday night in sweats watching TV all by yourself with a glass of wine and you are completely content.

You’re independent and you move to the beat of your own drum. You don’t care if your partner goes out without you sometimes because you know you need that time alone for yourself anyway. You love having someone special in your life, but you know that they can only add value to your life because you are truly happy with who you are.

You appreciate your strengths

You’re mentally strong, compassionate, and you have the ability to be able to see things in a positive light. It’s one of your most valued strengths. In turn, this allows for you to see the positive qualities in others, especially your partner. You tend to notice the positive things about them rather than picking at their weaknesses.

You know that sometimes you need help too

You recognize that everyone needs help sometimes and you aren’t afraid to ask for it. You also recognize the importance of making your partner feel needed in the relationship. If you can’t reach something on the top shelf in the pantry, you yell to your partner in the other room to come help you out. Same goes if you’re going through a rough time. You realize that you can’t always handle everything on your own and you have no problem leaning on your partner for love, help and support.

You don’t demand love & you realize you matter

Nowhere in your world do you demand to be loved or demand love in general. You know that love is give and take. You are selfless and give love to all of those around you. You’re so in tune with yourself and you find it easy to express how you’re feeling. You’re able to express yourself to your partner with ease. You know that your feelings matter, that you matter. You realize how vital this is for healthy communication with your partner.

It’s so important to realize the significance and importance of self-love. When you have learned to love yourself, you will notice how much easier it is for people to love you and for you to accept that love because well, you deserve it.

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Dad’s Bad Mood Can Seriously Affect Children’s Development, Study Finds

“Whoever does not have a good father should procure one.” ~Friedrich Nietzsche

Hundreds of studies have solidified the fact that a father’s love is just as important to a child’s development as a mother’s, and sometimes more so…

Research has proven emphatically that, overall, the love — or rejection — of mothers and fathers affects kids’ behavior, self-esteem, emotional stability, and mental health. According to Ronald P. Rohner, Ph.D., director of the Center for the Study of Parental Acceptance and Rejection at the University of Connecticut, in some cases, the withdrawal of a father’s love, acceptance and presence seems to play a bigger role in their children’s’ problems with personality and psychological adjustment, delinquency, and substance abuse. And of course the transverse is also true. The presence of a father’s love boosts children’s sense of well-being and improves their emotional and physical health. …But this is common knowledge. Most people are aware and do recognize the impacts a father has on his children.

Dad’s mental state directly affects his children

Scholars from Michigan State University (MSU) conducted a study and their findings not only underscore the importance of a father’s role in the lives of his children, but it went on to to prove that dad’s overall mental state and moods have short and long term, direct effects on his children.

In the study, MSU researchers collected data from about 730 families that participated in a survey of Early Head Start programs at sites across the nation. The researchers focused their attention on discovering effects of parents’ stress and mental health problems such as depression and anxiety on their children. They found that parents stress levels and mental health issues affected how they interact with their children and, subsequently, their child’s development.

One of the most surprising findings derived from this study is that a father’s mental health has long-lasting implications that directly correlate to differences in children’s social skills (such as self-control and cooperation) by the time children reached fifth grade. In fact, a father’s depression during the toddler years is more influential on the development of a child’s social skills later in life, than are a mother’s depression or anxiety.

The study also highlighted the fact that a father’s parenting-related stress levels have a particularly harmful effect on his children’s cognitive and language development when the children are 2 to 3 years old—even in the presence of a mother’s’ positive influences.  As might be expected, the father’s’ influence appears to have a stronger effect on boys’ language than girls’ language.

These empirical, evidence-based findings are a poignant reminder that every father has a responsibility to take care of his own psychological well-being in order to nurture and foster the well-being of his children.

One uplifting and positive thing that comes from this study is that we now have solid, scientific proof that dads do play as significant a role in raising children as mothers do, and that their piece of the family puzzle is crucial in helping a child learn and grow properly.

Changing dad’s mood

Parenting is a daunting and stressful undertaking–no two ways about it. Especially for new parents. Below are some ways for dad to minimize the negative impacts his foul mood can have on his kids:

• Accept the fact that you will feel stressed — Understanding and accepting that stress is a part of child rearing is key to helping reduce its impact on your mood. If you expect it and prepare for it–you can proactively minimize it’s effects on your mood and it can reduce the number of outwardly negative reactions you display.
• Learn your triggers and work to de-stress as quickly as possible — Learning and becoming in tune with yourself is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Find out what situations, thoughts or moments cause you the most stress. Can they be avoided? What can you do to avoid or minimize these moments? Take some “dad time” and engage in activities that lower your stress levels–engage in a sport or hobby, take quiet time away, take a walk on the beach or engage in forest bathing.
• Get help — If you are feeling overwhelmed or have a history of depression, anxiety or mental illness be sure to seek professional help. It is imperative for you and for your children. Consider the “airplane safety model.’ During the flight attendant’s safety speech, you are instructed to put your own oxygen mask on first and then help those around you don theirs. The message here is that you can’t help others breathe if you are suffocating.

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Top 8 High-Paying Business And Tech Jobs of 2016 — And How to Get Them!

Do you feel like you have plateaued in your career? Are you looking for the hottest, latest skills to give your career the boost it needs?

Now’s your chance!

We regularly work with industry think-tanks and thought leaders to bridge the skills gap in various domains. In the last few years, we’ve noticed a distinct move away from traditional, siloed workflows. Business and technical functions do not work in isolation anymore — they intersect at many points and adopt holistic approaches to achieve organizational goals and address challenges. Individual efforts of the past, such as business strategy, brand identity, customer experience, and enterprise architecture are now aligned in the same direction to drive sustainable growth at organizations.

With this in mind, we’ve compiled a list of the highest-paying jobs in 2016 and the quickest route to each. Most of these jobs are in the IT sector and include both mid- and senior-level positions.

1. Big Data and Hadoop Developer

• Median salary in the US: $98,000
• Quickest way to become one? With a Big Data and Hadoop Developer certification.
• Number of openings: 5520
• Skillset required: Analytical skills, problem-solving skills, Linux scripting skills, and workflow knowledge.

You may already know that leading companies like Yahoo!, Facebook, Twitter, and eBay are searching for experienced Big Data and Hadoop Developers who can develop and implement applications, run pilot projects, and strengthen the company’s bottom line. But did you know that the demand for Hadoop developers has exceeded the global supply? If you’re really passionate about Big Data, then becoming a Hadoop Developer will be the perfect job for you.

Who should consider becoming a Big Data Hadoop Developer?

• Software Developers and Architects
• Analytics professionals
• Data Management professionals
• Business Intelligence professionals
• Project Managers

2. Big Data and Hadoop Architect

• Median salary in the US: $ 119,500
• Quickest way to become one? With a Big Data and Hadoop Architect certification.
• Openings: 2242
• Skillset required: Big Data and Hadoop Developer, Apache Spark and Scala, Mongo DB, Developer and Administrator skills, Apache Cassandra, Apache Storm, Apache Kafka, Java Map Reduce, Hive and Pig.

This is the next step for enthusiastic Big Data Hadoop Developers. As a Big Data and Hadoop Architect, you’ll implement, maintain, and support Hadoop clusters as well as integrate them with other open-source technologies in the Hadoop ecosystem.

Not only will it be challenging and exciting for you to perform data integration, but your organization will value you for maximizing the return on Big Data and supporting top business imperatives.

Who should consider becoming a Big Data Hadoop Architect?

• Software Developers, Testers, Architects
• Analytics and Data Management professionals
• Data warehouse professionals
• Anybody with expertise in Hadoop, NoSQL, Hive, HBase, Spark, and Pig

3. Agile Scrum Master

• Median salary in the US: $126,000
• Quickest way to become one? With an Agile Scrum Master certification.
• Openings: 25,042
• Skillset required: An attitude of empowerment and transparency, understanding of iterative development and software development processes, backlog tracking, burn down metrics, velocity and task definition, etc.

An Agile Scrum Master is someone who is an expert in Scrum practices and Agile development methodology and facilitating the execution of complex, innovative projects. Strong Scrum skills can pave the way for roles in IT Service Management, software development, business management, and project management.

Your Agile mindset and Scrum focus will help you stay relevant at organizations, often across a range of industries, that have adopted these practices.

Who should consider becoming an Agile Scrum Master?

• Team leads
• Project managers
• Scrum team members, including Developers, Scrum Masters, and Product Owners

4. Junior Android Developer

• Median salary in the US: $77,500
• Quickest way to become one? With an Android Developer certification.
• Skillset required: Java, Android SDK, APIs, databases, material design, and XML.

This is a great career option for recent graduates and amateur web developers. To become an Android developer, you need to know Java and understand the Android development environment.

Although Junior Android Developer is an entry-level position in Android App Development, you’ll be in charge of developing custom applications for phones and tablets.

With businesses migrating to mobile, you are going to have a splendid career ahead. You can even earn a tidy sum of money by becoming a freelancer.

5. Search Engine Optimization Analyst

• Median salary in the US: $94,000
• Quickest way to become one? With an SEO Specialist certification.
• Skillset required: Analytical skills, HTML, server-side configuration, on-page SEO, and link-building.

This is one of the hottest entry-level jobs in the online marketing industry. An SEO Analyst implements SEO and social media strategies, maintains website health, optimizes a website by keeping it search-engine friendly, and promotes the company’s reputation in the online world. Knowledge of SEO tools and digital marketing techniques is a must for this role.

You might be aware of the fact that businesses are striving to gain traction on the web, but did you know the extent of the SEO efforts they put in to remain relevant both online and offline?

As an SEO Analyst, you’ll occupy the space between Marketing and IT, and your strategies become the deciding factor when it comes to online reputation management. That’s a powerful role to be in!

6. Salesforce Developer

• Median salary in the US: $100,000
• Quickest way to become one? With Salesforce App Builder (DEV 401) certification, Salesforce Platform Developer 1 (DEV 450).
• Skillset required: No coding skills required for entry-level jobs, good programming knowledge needed for senior-level jobs.

To become a Salesforce Developer, it is necessary that you have a good understanding of Salesforce features and know when to code.

As a Salesforce Developer, you’ll design, develop, test, and implement custom applications using declarative functionalities on the Force.com platform. You will use Apex and Visual force to extend the standard functionality of Salesforce and manage development resources. What’s more, with this job you’ll become an integral part of the strategic architecting measures of an organization.

7. Cyber Security Specialist

• Median salary in the US: $125,000
• Quickest way to become one? With CompTIA Security+, Ethical Hacking, Advanced Penetration testing, and CISSP certifications.
• Skillset required: Networking knowledge, experience using real-time code analysis tools, experience in identifying root causes of vulnerabilities and recommending countermeasures to mitigate risks, SQL injection without tools, simulating cross-site scripting (XSS) attacks, X-Path Injection, etc.

As a Cyber Security Specialist, you will need to constantly learn about new technologies and update your knowledge about the latest cyber-security risks. You’ll proactively respond to incidents, perform security procedures to detect violations, mitigate potential risks, recommend enhancements, and maintain system and information security. In short, this role gives you the guardianship of information systems in business organizations and government agencies.

Who should consider becoming a Cyber Security Specialist?

• Security Managers
• IT Managers
• Security Systems Engineers
• Security Administrators/Engineers
• Network Administrators/Engineers
• System Administrators/Engineers

8. AWS Solutions Architect

• Median salary in the US: $125,871
• Quickest way to become one? With an AWS Solutions Architect – Associate certification.
• Skillset required: Experience in the AWS cloud computing platform and traditional IT infrastructure, ability to identify and define requirements for an AWS-based application, in-depth knowledge of at least one high-level programming language, knowledge of network design, data storage, security, scalability and elasticity, cloud migration, hybrid architecture, etc.

As a Solutions Architect, you’ll be the key techie who gets to choose the design and the architecture of cloud/virtualization solutions for your company on the AWS platform. As the best cloud computing platform with respect to performance, speed, pricing, and security, AWS is the most popular choice with most enterprises.

To become a Solutions Architect, you need to have proven experience in enterprise and/or service-oriented architecture, comprehensive knowledge of various cloud computing technologies and providers, and the ability to define cloud solutions based on business needs and requirements.

Who should consider becoming an AWS Solutions Architect?

Experienced professionals who can:

• deploy hybrid systems with on-premises and AWS components,
• build secure and reliable applications on the AWS platform, and
• design cost efficient, fault-tolerant, and scalable distributed systems on AWS.

To conclude, continuous professional education is the key to career success and hefty pay packages. Organizations can’t afford to ignore professional certifications, especially when they serve as validation of the professional knowledge and skillset of a potential employee. Continuous education and certifications can give that much-needed boost to your productivity, efficiency, and employability. Make learning a habit and invest in skills-training with certifications to land your dream job quickly.

Which Dream Role Have You Set Your Sights On?

Which of these awesome certifications is the perfect fit for your profile? Do you feel there are alternative learning paths to get to any of these positions? Tell us in the comments below.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via hd.unsplash.com

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I Don’t Chase People Anymore After Learning “I Do Matter”

We are all a collective being of our experiences, thoughts and beliefs and many of these are aimed at our own self-value and self-worth. How we feel about ourselves within can determine our outside experiences, actions and interactions with those around us. In other words, if you experience low self-worth and don’t put a high value on your role in the world then this can have a detrimental effect on your relationships and even your mental well-being and happiness.

It’s easy to develop negative feelings about yourself; in fact, you are more likely to develop the same level of self-worth as one of your parents or a mixture of the two. From an early age, you can start to determine your place in the world by evaluating your connections with the people around you and this can develop into negative connections if you are around dominating, critical or judgemental people.

Without even realising it, you can carry this low-self worth into adulthood and apply it to the relationships you create. If this sounds familiar to you then you’re not alone. I’m one of those people too – someone who has struggled with low-self worth that has sabotaged both relationships with others, but most importantly with myself.

How lack of self-love truly affected me

I’ve always been a more naturally introverted person and quite shy at times as well as highly sensitive. That meant every time a mean comment was thrown at me (which always happened to everyone at some stage during school) it stuck in my mind like superglue. Instead of having the inner strength and self-love to shrug it off and refuse to believe it, I added it to my bank of inner criticism and took it as truth.

I didn’t ever feel like I had someone to tell me this isn’t true – that the negative thoughts and actions of others can’t damage me unless I let them. I wasn’t aware that I had the power to ignore or understand the true meanings behind personal attacks, in my mind, it was my fault because I must be a less worthy person.

This transcended into my relationships with others. I would never stand my ground but instead run around after people to gain their recognition or acceptance. This, in turn, meant I was easily used and I stayed in relationships that made me unhappy, that were unfulfilling and didn’t allow me the space to grow. I would often stay with someone through fear that I wouldn’t ever find someone else or be worthy of a better relationship.

The constant need for love

Lack of self-love and feeling like I didn’t matter meant I would seek love externally. Relationships defined me. If I was striving to make the other person happy then that was the basis of my own happiness. If they were in a bad mood, it was my fault – self-blame was evident in all areas of my life. I needed to be accepted wherever I went and if I wasn’t then there was something wrong with me. I always had to please others and put their happiness above my own because in my mind, that was a reflection of me.

The problem with this is that it eats away at you; it’s exhausting. I didn’t have the ability or even the want to set myself life goals and I didn’t celebrate any achievements because I didn’t let myself congratulate myself – it was extremely alien to me.

Understanding that happiness comes from within and starts with self-love

There came a point in my life where I found myself alone, broke, jobless and depressed. They say you need to experience the very bottom before you can rise to the top, well this was the experience for me. It was after a breakdown that I finally had enough. I couldn’t live my life this way – I can’t live my life to please others.

It was this realisation that started my journey to self-love and happiness. I finally realised that only I can be responsible for how I feel, for my reactions to situations and other people. My inner-world is a direct reflection of my outer-world: my low self-worth and lack of respect for myself was showing in my life situation and my relationships.

Changing the way you think about yourself after a lifetime is not an easy process but with support, encouragement and determination both from external sources and myself I came to realise that I am loveable and what other people think about me is just their own issues they are struggling with. This was probably the first hugely important realisation for me – people aren’t superior, they are not living their life perfectly, they make mistakes and they have issues just like me. I shouldn’t compare myself to people who aren’t perfect themselves – no one is.

Whether you’re a happy or unhappy person is determinate on whether you love yourself and know you matter in this world or not. Discovering that inner happiness will simply change the way you see things for what they really are and placing yourself as important in everything you do.

The road to self-love is always a continuous journey and for me, it has now improved my life in so many ways. Finally, my outer world is reflecting my inner world in a much more positive and happy way.

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4 Important Things You Lose In Life And Why You Should Be Grateful

Losing things is often painted with negative connotations. As humans, we tend to hold onto things in all areas of our lives — our jobs, relationships, friendships, and even our control over situations.

But is this healthy in terms of our wellbeing and overall happiness? Living in the present moment is the best way to obtain a happy and fulfilling life, which means we have to let go of the past and lose things in life in order to grow as a person.

While it’s sometimes difficult, we should never think negatively about changes we face. In fact, we should see them as opportunities to grow and seek new and interesting paths. Here are 4 important things to lose in your life that will expand your mindset, perspective, and ultimately help you become a better person.

1. Losing Your Direction

Most of us get to a stage in life when we question our motives, our past and present actions, and our true happiness. When we go through this, it can feel extremely overwhelming, sometimes depressing, and we feel lost about what our life purpose really is. Perhaps you question your direction of career or feel you’ve missed out on pursuing your dream because you’re too old. What we need to remember is that it’s these times that are actually there to help us figure out our true path in life; whether we’re on the right one or if we need to find something different.

When we fall into negative situations, they are there to show us that we need to rethink, readjust, and walk down a more suitable and happy road. Don’t ever think that you’re a failure because you haven’t figured it all out yet — everything happens at the right time and it’s these moments in life when we lose direction that we are being told to reprogram because a different path may be more beneficial to us.

If we don’t lose direction every now and then, we don’t get the opportunity to grow, change, and pursue avenues that could lead to ultimate happiness.

2. Losing Touch With Others

While having many people in our life can bring a great dimension to our wellbeing and happiness, we often hold onto those relationships that no longer serve us. Sentimentality can cause us keep certain people in our lives — they remind us of the good times, they were an intrinsic part of our lives once or shared happy memories. However, over time we change and grow as people — our tastes, attitudes, dreams, and directions in life can change either subtly or dramatically and this can mean drifting away from once-important people.

As sad as this may feel, losing the (what seems like) never-ending connections with our friends can be a valuable life lesson. It teaches us the importance of quality over quantity, it helps us let go of those that don’t bring any growth into our lives, and it can show us that the past is the past but we’re now living in the present.

Holding onto past, fading relationships only stunts us in our efforts to simply be in the present. By losing touch with people and letting them go, we are able to cherish what they contributed rather than feeling a sense of negativity and sadness that they are no longer a bigger part of our lives.

3. Losing Yourself

Life is all about losing ourselves, changing ourselves, and growing according to our ever-evolving experiences, mindsets, and perspectives. Change is inevitable, but sometimes we can hold onto our old selves, perhaps even wishing we were how we used to be.

The reality is that there is no fixed us. We are constantly adapting to an ever-changing world and our changes are just a sign of progression in this journey of life. To lose yourself means experiencing and opening up to different experiences, such as travelling, studying, moving abroad, or changing careers, and marching head-on into your fears and coming out the other side. Everything we do that challenges the way we think and view the world allows us to lose a small part of our old self and create a new, improved person. This constant evolution allows us to truly find our happiness.

4. Losing Control Over Things

Uncertainty is a fear that most of us have. By dealing with this, we tend to try and control situations or even people. While we’re young, we believe we have much more control in life than we think, but as we get older and we gain more life experiences, we realise that most things in life are out of our control. Life is constantly changing and nothing really stays the same. This means we can either adapt to the changes or they float out of our existence.

While sometimes we desperately hold onto things such as relationships, jobs, and general life situations, this only serves as a trap that keeps us locked in our comfort zones. When we’re in this space, there is little room to grow or seek other opportunities that we’d otherwise ignore or be unwilling to pursue.

For example, imagine you’re made redundant from your job. While this is initially seen as a bad situation, you come to realise that if you were truly honest with yourself, you weren’t really passionate about your job anymore and this “bad” situation that was out of your control is actually giving you the opportunity to find a job much more suitable and enjoyable — which you may not have done if the redundancy hadn’t happened.

Embracing the fact that you have little control may seem like a scary thought, but it’s these times that open up opportunities for us that we wouldn’t ordinarily take or pursue.

So never be afraid of change and losing things in life. While it may sometimes seem like life is against you in these situations, they are really just amazing opportunities in disguise.

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Keep These 8 Tips In Mind If You Want To Achieve Anything In Life

Ever had this passion, this burning desire to achieve something unique and specific? You think about it when you go to school, when you leave for work, even when you take your dog out for the daily walk, it’s there in your mind, thumping on your thoughts like a bag thumping against your back whenever you move. You most probably had, we all did, and we all still do. A dream is one way to call it.

Yet, how very few of us act on these compulsions? And of those who do, how many truly commit to it, in good and in bad, only to achieve their ever desirable goal? You probably guessed it, few to none. But you will be surprised to hear that this amazing achievement is not too far out of reach, no matter how far and difficult it may seem all the way from the starting line. It’s all in the mind, you could say, and here are a few important tips that should guide you through this difficult seeming path:

1. Commitment is key

You’re at work, cleaning those dishes, submitting your daily paperwork, or have been staring at the computer screen for over two hours, and then, without a moment’s notice, this amazingly original book idea pops to your mind. You write it down on a small note and put it in your pocket. Now you can’t wait for the work day to end, you are motivated beyond all comparison. This will be your big break, the one you have been dreaming on for so long.

You arrive back home, drink your coffee, eat your meal, and take a warm shower. You get to your room and stare blankly at your computer’s desk. Nothing. The moment is gone, along with your idea and all of your vast talent. You beat yourself down and blame the long working hours for this misfortune.

Well, this is a wrong way to look at it. Although important, you cannot count solely on motivation if you want to achieve your desirable goal. What you need is commitment. Commitment to sit down on that desk, despite your lack of mental energy. To wear those jogging shoes, although you feel numb and tired after your daily nap. There can be hundreds of examples, but truly, all you need is to buckle up and get to work.

2. It’s all about the journey

You can’t expect to have a smooth trail, a compass, and a big old X down on the map, leading you all the way up to the finish line. We all want to climb to the very top of the mountain but instead decide on going around it, despairing when realizing that there’s no lift or an unseen shortcut. And to be honest, wouldn’t it be boring if it was that easy?

Instead of straining your eyes so to look at the far ahead destination, look around you, and you may just find that the adventure is not half bad by itself. Learn, experience, improve, and to put simply: stay in the moment. Before you know it, you will be halfway there.

3. A positive mind, a positive result

This one goes without saying right? “Stay positive,” we hear it from everyone. Whether we are tired, anxious, or plainly just having a bad day. Well, surprise, surprise, there’s a reason for it. Positive thoughts will serve as the fuel to your adventure. They will keep you wanting to experiment, to experience, and will push you out of the box, and help you perform better with your work.

Doubts, on the other hand, won’t help you achieve a thing, and if at all, may hinder your performance or plainly push you from your rightful course.

If you want to achieve your goals, just “stay positive”.

4. Don’t make it easy on yourself

We all sometimes hate leaving the every familiar comfort zone. It is our domain, our realm, and we know each and every sharp turn, and jump above every obstacle with relative ease. But you can’t expect to achieve what you don’t have by staying where you are.

Don’t let fear keep you down. Get out, challenge yourself even on the risk of failing. We learn best from failing, and so very little from succeeding. That is why achieving your dream is a long journey in the first place. Didn’t manage to jump above that pole? Don’t throw the gloves down and walk away, put it back up and try again!

5. Distractions are the enemy

You sit down next to the computer screen, ready to write your best-selling novel, feeling strong and motivated. You manage to get a sentence in there until, suddenly, you feel your phone vibrating in your pocket. You don’t know who it is, and it might be important right? Could be that girl you’ve been texting with for a while now. You take it out and give it a shallow stare. Just a quick look, just a small break maybe.

Next thing you know, you’ve not only engaged in a long, meaningful conversation, now you’ve started talking with more friends, and even took the liberty to start watching these funny youtube videos that you’ve been getting. An hour and a half passes, you take a deep breath, and finally, decide to put the phone down and get to work. You look at the screen, and nothing, you are all worn out.

Bottom line. Want to achieve your goals? Avoid distractions as best as you possibly can.

6. Look and plan ahead

Until now, you’ve been working unstably. When out and unavailable, you suddenly feel extremely positive and motivated, and when at home, numb and tired. Little are the times that you feel motivated while actually being physically available. That is why you need to plan your schedule ahead. You know that you feel best at the mornings? Then make a clear window in your schedule, and let it be the first step to achieving your dreams.

Not available in the mornings for some reason? Well, at least clear some time during evening time, and try to dedicate at least two mornings for your own goals.

7. Take advantage of every situation

Let’s face it. We cannot possibly clear our schedules completely and dedicate every minute solely for achieving our goals. We have our school studies, work, volunteer works and a hundred of other things in our life. But we can make the best of every situation.

Filling paperwork at the office? Take this time to reflect on your ideas, observe the other workers, something might pop to your mind any second now. Inspiring to be an athlete? Eat well and avoid the junk food during the long work hours, squat, and do push-ups whenever you get a free window.

No excuses, take action anywhere you can.

8. Achieve, but beware of wearing yourself down

Bearing all other tips in mind, this one is probably one of the more important of them. If you feel tired and weak, always give yourself a breathing windows and take a break. Don’t burn out your mind, body, and try to claw your way to the summit. Many people do that mistake, straining themselves, confusing it for dedication.

Pushing yourself over the edge won’t bear any fruit, and if anything, will just hinder your progress. You can’t beat a dead horse and expect it to move, so to speak.

Featured photo credit: VIKTOR HANACEK via picjumbo.com

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No More Addiction To Work: 5 Tips On Maintaining Work-Life Balance

Workaholics are known to have health issues from neglecting their personal care, as well as problems that occur at home by being absent too much. Finding the illusively perfect work-life balance is difficult, but is critical to ensure that people are healthy and have harmonious lives.

Because today’s technological world makes it easy to be available and working at all hours of the day and night, it’s up to you to make some changes. Here are some work-life balance tips to help you out if you fall into the category of a workaholic or just want to cut back a bit on your 40+ hour workweek.

1. Unplug

Technology is amazing and allows people to accomplish incredible things, from the fields of medicine to space and science. But it also means you can work from home, in your car, while on vacation, while you’re supposed to be sleeping, you get the picture. Being constantly available also means you have not set up boundaries for personal time outside of work.

Robert Brooks, a professor of psychology at Harvard Medical School who co-wrote The Power of Resilience: Achieving Balance, Confidence and Personal Strength in Your Life, advises people shut off their phones and lose themselves in the moment. The notifications you receive on your phone means you’re constantly checking it, responding to texts and emails and checking out of whatever is happening right in front of you. Brooks recommends not sending work emails while enjoying quality family time or texting while watching your kids playing in a game. Doing so also will give you the feeling that you have some control in your life and make you less prone to the stress that diminishes your health.

2. Perfectionism

If you’re an overachiever, you tend to develop perfectionist tendencies early on, even as a young child. As you grow older, you’ aren’t juggling homework, sports, activities and a weekend job. You’re now responsible for paying the bills, getting important work done and the pressure to succeed is on. Be aware that your perfectionism will become out of reach and if you continue to strive for this level at work, you’ll end up investing more and more time in your job and eventually, you’ll burn out. Executive coach Marilyn Puder-York, who penned The Office Survival Guide, said such behavior can become destructive. So cut yourself some slack and try to ebb the tendencies toward perfectionism.

3. Exercise

This is one thing workaholics can no longer cut from their daily schedule. Your health is already at risk by logging long hours and succumbing to stress. The way to counterbalance that is with exercise, even meditation, but if you aren’t exercising, one day you’ll find yourself wishing you had. Exercise is a great stress reducer, lifts your mood and recharges you, so you can refocus on your work. You’ll be able to work more efficiently, not longer. Just 30 minutes of sweat-inducing exercise five days a week will work wonders. Psychotherapist Bryan Robinson, who is professor emeritus at the University of North Carolina at Charlotte and author of the book Chained to the Desk, said exercise is great for calming down a wound up worker.

4. Prioritize

Take a minute and write down what’s most important in your life. These are your priorities. Next, decide how you will establish boundaries to ensure you are focusing on these priorities and not other time wasters. Now start trimming things from your schedule. For example, if you find yourself wasting time checking Facebook or Instagram at work, set boundaries. Allow yourself 10 minutes to scroll through your newsfeed when you’re away from your desk on a bathroom break. Once those 10 minutes are up, you’re done. Now you can return to your work refreshed from a mini-break and you allowed yourself the guilty pleasure of spending a little time on social media. If your co-workers enjoy going out for a few hours after work, but you really need to get more sleep, excuse yourself after an hour of fun and hit the hay or limit yourself to going only once a month instead.

5. Let go

Realize you cannot do everything at the same time. If you’re on deadline and your phone starts going off, check to make sure it isn’t an emergency, then leave it alone. Refocus on the project, devoting all of your time and energy to it, and you’ll get it done faster and better than if you paused to address your text or email. Nicole Poirier, owner of Chef Nicole, said she’s often interrupted with a phone call or email while she’s wrapping up a time-sensitive cooking procedure or trying to get out the door on time to an event. She has an autoreply set for her phone and email, so she’s able to focus on the project at hand, without time-draining and stressful interruptions.

Work-Life Balance Tips

Hopefully, these work-life balance tips will help you restructure your day, your week and your life to where you are still achieving your career goals while taking care of you.

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