6 Ways to Clean and Maintain Your Bathroom

Your bathroom is quite possibly the one room you will (or should) spend the most time keeping up. Despite the fact that you and your family spend a relatively small amount of time using the bathroom (as compared to the other rooms in your home), it’s certainly one of the prime targets for mold, grime, and other bacteria within a household. Because of this, it’s important to maintain the cleanliness of your bathroom. And this goes way beyond simply keeping it “tidy.”

Separate Wet Materials

You probably know that mold thrives in areas of stagnant moisture. You’re also surely aware that most everything done in a bathroom requires the use of water. So it’s up to you to make sure that your shower curtains and towels stay as dry as possible when not in use. When you’re done showering, spready the curtain wide and allow it to dry properly. Don’t bunch wet towels up in the corner, or lay them on top of each other. Don’t overlook your bathmat, either; drape it over a drying rack or rod after every use.

Declutter

Your bathroom is likely full of cleansing products, deodorants, soaps, and gels – and other items which may or may not belong in the bathroom in the first place. Do you really need five different shampoos and three different bottles of body wash? Chances are you haven’t touched many of the products in your shower or cabinet in months. Chuck out anything you don’t use on a semi-daily basis. It’ll be much easier to do the deep cleaning when your bathroom is organized.

Open Windows

I’m sure you know at least one reason why you should do this. But in all seriousness, this goes back to the first point about moisture being a trap for mold. The more air that’s circulated throughout the bathroom, the dryer the entire area will be. Consider also using a fan to keep the air circulating, especially on those hazy days of summer. Just because it’s hot out doesn’t mean moisture in your bathroom will evaporate on its own.

Avoid Oil Stains or Rings

Unless you happen to know a certain hat-wearing cat, getting rings out of your bathtub isn’t exactly fun to do. Avoid them by rinsing the tub with clean, warm water immediately after taking a bath in which you used oils or salts. If the stain has already had time to set, scrub the tub with an abrasive cleaner such as Ajax. But it’s best to be proactive and make sure your tub stays spotless from the get-go.

Clean Grout

The little crevices in between your shower tiles can capture tiny drops of water, and – you guessed it – lead to mold and mildew growth. A mix of water and bleach scrubbed over the grout between the tiles will clear out most bacteria lurking beneath the surface. Just make sure to remove the bleach with warm water and a pH-neutral cleaner when you’re done, or you risk burning your skin or eyes the next time you hit the shower.

Use Homemade Cleaners

As I just mentioned, many cleaners will leave behind some toxic remnants if not dealt with correctly. Because of this, it’s best to use homemade cleaning mixtures whenever possible. Anyone who’s gone through 4th grade science class knows what baking soda and vinegar do when combined. But this mixture can be used to clean out pipes, shower heads, and faucets. Vinegar can also be used for a variety of cleaning purposes throughout your bathroom. Not only is using homemade cleaning remedies safer for your family and the environment, but it’s also much easier on your wallet!

Featured photo credit: Dynamic Plumbing / Bathrooms via farm5.staticflickr.com

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Harvard Psychologists Unlock The Secret To Real Happiness

We’ve all read those articles in a desperate attempt to add some happiness to our dismal lives. We’ve tried the checklists, added 172 things to our already busy days, and hopped on the bandwagon for the latest greatest fad that is just impossible to keep up.

The problem? Those are all unrealistic. This study, on the other hand, is logical, doable, and certainly not overwhelming.

Robert Waldinger, psychiatrist and director of Harvard’s Study of Adult Development, highlighted the key components for happiness in his TED talk in December. During the 75-year study, he followed 500+ white males divided into two cohorts. Group one consisted of 268 Harvard sophomores while group two had 456 12- 16-year-olds from inner-city Boston.

Every two years a quality of life survey was administered to the men, and every five years their physical health was recorded. The scientists examined the men’s contentment in their jobs, social life, romantic relationships along with physical elements such as echocardiograms and blood tests.

The results all pointed to one word – community. Waldinger pinpoints the effects of this buzzword in three specific ways.

Close Relationships

The study revealed the astounding impact of loneliness and the lack thereof. Not only were the men who engaged in close relationships happier, but they were also healthier and tended to have a longer lifespan. Turns out making friends is actually the best medicine out there.

There’s even a book entitled Friendfluence that couples scientific research with personal experience to show how much of a role friends play in our lives. (I don’t know about you, but I’m about to start weaving that clever word mashup into as many conversations as possible.)

If neither Harvard nor Friendfluence can convince you of this phenomenon, read this article from the Mayo Clinic. Apparently, friendships can “encourage you to change or avoid unhealthy lifestyle habits.”

Quality Over Quantity

It’s not about how many friends you have but how close you are to them. Having a few quality friends is much better than having dozens of acquaintances. Waldinger even found that the men who had marriages that were full of arguments and lacked closeness were less healthy and happy than men who hadn’t gotten married.

If you’re avoiding the Valentine’s Day hoopla this year, remind yourself that there are much worse things than being single. Here are 20 things right here.

While the quantity of relationships seemed to be a bit more important to the men when they were in their 20s, once the they hit their 30s, quality took over the number one spot. (Tip: this concept can also be applied to business.)

Secure Marriages

Having stable, constant relationships around has been proven to increase mental ability. Business Insider explains, “People who were married without having divorced, separating, or having ‘serious problems’ until age 50 performed better on memory tests later in life than those who weren’t.” Maybe improving your marriage would be even better for your brain than all of those sudoku puzzles.

The effects of socializing on your mental ability are even more apparent in seniors. It’s been found to boost mental and emotional health.

“Success is nothing without someone you love to share it with.”

Ah, yes. The famous quote from Mahogany that pops up every time you scroll through quotes on Pinterest. Well, it may be cliché now, but according to the Harvard study, it couldn’t be more true.

So, if your happiness level is looking a bit low, try spending your weekend with friends and family instead of attached your laptop and cell phone. Text that friend you need to catch up with and set up a coffee date. Maybe even make it a habit to engage in some social activities on a regular basis.  It’s worth a shot, right?

Featured photo credit: Kate Ter Haar/flickr.com via flickr.com

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10 Steps To Bring Positive Energy Into Your Life

Whether we are aware of it or not, we are all capable of holding onto things and most of us are always searching for ways to bring positive energy into our lives.

These things take up a lot of space, creating obstacles and distractions. They also consume a lot of our very precious energy. Mess, no matter what form it takes, is all encompassing. It is multi-layered and heavy. Emotionally, we can clutter our minds with negative thoughts. Spiritually, we can clutter up our hearts and souls with emotional debris. Physically, we can fill our bodies with unhealthy food that weighs us down and  often we extend mess and clutter into our homes.

How can we live a peaceful existence if our lives are a mess? How can we find our life’s purpose if we can’t see our way forward?

It is liberating, empowering and uplifting to sort through all of our mess and clean it up. It frees us from the heaviness that accompanies clutter and allows us to see clearly. Mess, no matter what form it takes, is all encompassing. It is multi-layered and heavy.According to feng shui principles, mess, disorganisation and overwhelm are thought to create blockages and stagnant energy. Devoting the time and energy into organising your life enables greater productivity.

The following 10 steps will bring positive energy into your life instantly and will open up pathways, clear out blockages and enable the potential for anything.

1. Clear out your mind

The mind often repeats the same thoughts over and over again. If they are positive thoughts, that is fantastic, but more often than not, if you are feeling overwhelmed, those thoughts are negative ones causing us to continually rehash over the difficulties we may be experiencing. Your thoughts create your reality, so STOP and identify your thoughts. What are you filling your mind with?  Just as your thoughts can escalate stress, they can also relieve stress.

2. Clean out your body

Our bodies are quite resilient but at some stage if we disrespect them too much, they will let us know. If you feel heavy, bloated and unhealthy, it is vital to take stock of what you are consuming. Unhealthy diets laden with too much sugar, salt and unhealthy fats have led us to an obesity crisis. If you are feeling physically weighed down, there is no time like the present  to clean up your diet. If you are confused about what to eat and when to eat it, consider scrapping dieting and instead opt for eating healthy food instead. Acknowledge that your body must go the distance and you must nurture, support and maintain it so it functions at it’s best. Be sure to treat it with the respect it deserves. You will be rewarded  with better health and more energy and that in itself is one of the greatest gifts in life.

3. Spring clean your soul

If your soul is depleted due to life’s sometimes overwhelming challenges, it is often the case that it is difficult to  see the good in any situation. Take the time to spring clean your soul. Let go of anything that no longer serves you, like anger, resentment, jealousy, sadness, guilt, let it go. Don’t see challenges as bad luck, instead ask yourself what you can learn from the experience. There is always a gift even in the most difficult of circumstances.

Take time out to find your passion. If you have a dream, plan the course of its journey. Be bold and brave. Get back to nature. Spend time with the people you love and who lift you up. Rest. Practice gratitude

There are so many ways to fire up your soul. Be THANKFUL that you can change your life’s course in a heartbeat, because if you think about it- YOU CAN.

4. Create a harmonious living environment

Your home is your safe haven. Creating a more peaceful, organised  living space  will restore balance and allow the positive energy to flow gently back into your world. Once you have  cleaned up and have cleared out the clutter, take the time to warm up your space.  Bring in some scented candles, flowers, plants and display precious beautiful photos. It is magical when you replace clutter with elements that will allow you to experience the feeling  of a new beginning.

5. Focus on what you have

Most of us are continuously focusing on all that we want and not what we already have. It is vital to set positive goals and strive for a better future, but before you do this, ask yourself, “When was the last time I stopped and said thank you for all that is currently in my life?”

Now is the perfect time to count your blessings. Giving thanks will open the floodgates to the universal stream of goodness.

6. Soften your focus

If you choose to soften your focus, you will find life’s journey will be much gentler. Focusing softly and taking a calm gentle approach towards every situation before reacting allows you time to evaluate the event. Shifting your vision to be more emotionally intelligent, empathetic and caring will open up a whole new level of mindfulness.

7. Set boundaries

Set boundaries for friends, family members and even work colleagues. Email, social media and texting allows a continuous lifeline to people. We seem to be available 24/7 to everyone. Prioritise your time and do not allow anyone to drain your energy unnecessarily.

8. Pace yourself

Often when you feel overloaded, just taking a break for an hour or two will give you the energy to refocus. You deserve time out to rest and recharge.

9. Be responsible for your life

You are completely responsible for your life as well as the choices you make. The sooner you accept that, the sooner your life will change. Organising our lives, clearing up the mess, acknowledging past failures, changing our attitude, shifting our vision, these are positive life changing actions that will change our energy and bring clarity into our lives. You have the power to change any situation in your life right now.

10. Embrace each new day with purpose

Just as the world continues to turn, a new day brings endless opportunities. A new day generates renewed energy and hope  so choose how you will respond to the days events by welcoming each new day with optimism.

It is vital to acknowledge the mess in your life no matter what form it takes and then embrace change. Take those all important steps to free yourself  from its limitations. Stop thinking of clearing it out as a tremendous overwhelming task and instead see it as one of the most vital self improvement tactics you can possibly do.

Clean up and clear out what no longer serves you. Don’t let a little mess stop you from receiving and feeling life’s goodness. Remove all those things that are blocking your view and just let the light come flooding back into your life.

Featured photo credit: Viktor Hanacek via picjumbo.com

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If You’ve Found A Nerd, Congratulations!

My seventeen year old step-daughter has been in a deep relationship with a Nerd for nearly two years.  He’s a nice kid, gangly, polite, and obviously deeply introspective. I like him.

“What”, I asked her, “is the attraction to your Nerd? He seems a little dull.” Her reply was both poised and nuanced.

“You just don’t understand him, but if you took the time to get to know him, you’d see he just sees the world differently. I like that in a guy. And he’s smart.” At this point I realized I needed to learn more.  What exactly is it about Nerds that makes them so lovable?

Nerds Make you Laugh

Having a bad day? Nerds have a warped and twisted sense of humor that can turn the darkest moment around.  Their jokes are drawn from the perspective of the outsider, a lens can turn even ordinary events into comedy.

You can find lots of great nerd jokes on reddit or many other web sites.  Here’s a classic joke that Nerds enjoy: Descartes is sitting at a bar. The bartender comes over and asks, “Can I get you a drink?” To which Descartes replies, “I think not” and promptly disappears in a puff of logic.

You can be yourself

Sometimes we all feel like imposters in our own skin. Say that cute girl walks by, and suddenly you’ve wondering what your boyfriend sees in you. If he’s a Nerd, he’s with you because he loves the person that you are, and while that other girl may get a look, that’s all she’s getting.

While I didn’t probe this sensitive issue with my step-daughter, I took a poll among my Nerd-enabled friends about what they thought of their nerd as a lover. The answers were overwhelmingly positive. Nerds think about their partner’s needs and can be amazingly adventurous when they come out of their shell.

You can have real conversations

Let’s face it, some relationships are not so much about the talking as the… umm… moving. When you finally tire of ecstatic sex it’s nice to be able to look over and have your partner say something more than “babe, that was like totally awesome”.

I think Carl Sagan put it best when he said:

“It’s a lazy Saturday afternoon, there’s a couple lying naked in bed reading Encyclopedia Britannica to each other, and arguing about whether the Andromeda Galaxy is more ‘numinous’ than the Resurrection. Do they know how to have a good time, or don’t they?”

Eventually we all crave communication, we need to be loved and to be told we are loved. Nerds can do this, and still expand upon the imminent collapse of humanity due to the Hadron Collider. What’s not to like?

You can learn new things!

A Nerd knows stuff. They get math, physics, computers, as well as the arts and music, and a wide variety of other topics. They are the renaissance people of our time. Who else will give you an impromptu lecture on Chinese pottery of the 4th century or a review of how copper wire is made and then cook you an enjoyable dinner?

Living with your Nerd can only make you smarter; it’s like having a permanent tutor!

Quaffable Beverages are always a priority

For those of us who are addicted to the mood altering juices of life having access to a Nerd is a godsend. Starbucks will never satisfy a true Nerd. Instead they seek out local single origin beans that have been roasted at precise temperatures and burr ground into a perfect powder. As the water heats they zap the surface with an infrared thermometer to get a precise read and then carefully, oh so carefully, decant the sacred liquid into appropriate vessels.

If stimulants aren’t your thing, consider a brewing Nerd.  They are connoisseurs of craft beer who understand the finer points of mash and fermentation, as well as keeping an encyclopedic knowledge of all the locally available brews. Chances are they have a pretty well stocked cellar to boot!

Final Thought

Nerds are sensitive thoughtful people who may be a little gawky and rough around the edges, but their core is squidgy gold.

I leave you with this final thought:

“If you like nerds, raise your hand. If you don’t, raise your standards.”
― Violet Haberdasher

Featured photo credit: SilverLeaf via pixabay.com

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3 Keys To Happiness

I got my degree in engineering because my brother was going to school for that and I couldn’t think of any other career paths that I wanted to do. After graduating college and securing a job at Westinghouse I was excited and ready to start my career.  I soon realized that I had made the wrong choice and that it wasn’t what I thought it would be.  The people I worked with seemed lifeless and passionless about their jobs and the feeling was contagious.  There always seemed to be an air of tension among people and the way they acted seemed fake and somewhat nervous.

This corporate world was not for me and it was resonating throughout my life in various negative ways; my health was failing, I felt empty inside, I drank more…

1. Do What You Love

My first goal was to simplify my life so I didn’t need all of this income to exist. I sold my expensive sports car, moved into a smaller place, stopped going out so much, and focused on getting rid of anything that wasn’t mandatory. I started my own painting company on the side and was able to leave the corporate world for good within a year.  After a few years even this kind of freedom wasn’t enough, something was missing.  All throughout my life friends would tell me I was funny and I should be a comedian.  I finally took this to heart and tried a comedy course at a local comedy club.  Well, that was over a decade ago and I am more passionate than ever about this career in the performing arts.  It has opened my eyes to a new way of looking at life and reignited my spirit.

You must find that calling that you were meant to do and go for it regardless of the pay.  If you get good at anything there will always be a sector of people who are willing to pay it.  This way you won’t be counting down the years left in your career, but counting up the years that you’ve been doing it and hoping for more. There is no retirement for me, I’ll do this till the day I die.  There is more to life than just getting by.

2. Have What You Need

Things don’t make us happy, they may be exciting at first but once the thrill wears off you are just left with bills in the mail causing even more stress than before.  If you minimize and simplify your life one step at a time you will create more freedom and free time to do the things that you enjoy.  Money does not equal happiness, it is more just a tool to help you get the things you need.  Don’t just buy things that you want, it is a never ending cycle.  There is always another gadget to buy, another subscription to join, only causing you to fall further in debt and making it so you have to work more.

When I was a little kid I had food to eat, a place to sleep, and transportation to get around and I didn’t need to work 40 or more hours a week to have this.  My goal is to have that freedom back that I had when I was a little kid and it is possible to do.  It doesn’t take much to make you happy if you are doing what you love, that itself is fulfilling enough.  Think of the things you need to feel better;  exercise, sunshine, silence, passion, love.   Most of these things are either free or very inexpensive to have, make it a point to get more of what you need and you won’t want anything more.

3. Help Other People

They say if you want to be happy focus all of your attention on making other people happy, and if you want to be miserable focus only on making yourself happy.  We like to think we are independent but, in fact, we are interdependent beings.   If I put you on a desert island with nothing but your computer and Facebook “friends” you would end up being extremely lonely and very unhappy over time, we need each other.   Compassion, or concern for others, helps to humanize us and connect us making us feel like we are part of something bigger and, in return, making us feel better about ourselves and happier in the process.  Just start in small ways to care about others, it doesn’t happen overnight.  You can train your mind to become anything you want, it just happens slowly over time.  Set your intention to be a more compassionate and caring person and as time goes by you will become just that and end up a much happier person than when you began.

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10 Reasons Why You Are in Debt

If you are young, just out of college, starting a business, or starting a family, chances are that money is tight. Education costs dollars, as do building a business and creating opportunities for your children. Managing money is not always simply about noting how much money is coming in and what expenses you have. Money management is about your relationship to saving and spending and your attitude toward sharing your resources with others. Do you love giving to others? Do you share what you have or does it feel easier or safer to hold back, perhaps from a fear that giving means there is less for you? Here are some reasons for why you are in debt, along with some ideas and tips on how you can improve your relationship with the dollars, pounds, or euros in your wallet.

1. You haven’t realized that saving money is about creating new attitudes and emotional habits

Saving money is about creating new habits and attitudes. In reality, it has very little to do with the actual amount of money you have in your bank account. You can put aside money each month, but if you constantly overspend, you will end up borrowing from yourself and saving nothing. Rather than seeing money as a value in itself, consider what it gets you in relation to your goals and plans. Create an attitude that everything in your life is about moving towards your goals. The wealthiest entrepreneurs view money not as something scarce that must be guarded at all times, but as a tool or asset to help them invest in their goals and dreams.

2. You haven’t worked out what is really important to you and what you value

Money is a resource. Resources can be wasted, misused, or directed to create even more wealth. What do you value? At the end of your life, what would you like to be remembered for? Working out what your values are will help you work out how to spend your money. If you love a hobby, then investing money in that makes perfect sense. How do you know what you value? Exercises such as writing a personal mission statement can be very valuable. Money is a resource like any other — move its focus to create the life you want to have.

3. You haven’t set up an easy-to-use budgeting system

Do you know right now if you are in credit or in debt? Imagine that you see a pair of shoes or a new tablet that you don’t need but would love to have. Would you know if you have enough money in the bank to cover the cost? Create an easy-to-use budget tool. There are some online, and often a notepad and pen works well too. Credit cards do have to be paid off and you will need to plan how much a month you can afford to contribute to paying these off. Debts don’t magically resolve themselves, so get to know your spending habits and ask yourself if you can afford all these items you want but might not necessarily need.

4. You buy when you could just borrow or rent

You want to dig up a plant, so why buy a spade if you can borrow one from a kindhearted neighbor? If you need a big saucepan for a dinner party, why buy when you can borrow from a friend? We love to justify purchases by saying that the item will come in handy in the future. Yet, how many times do you really use it later? If you love a movie, don’t buy it, borrow it — the same goes with books. Think of all the things you own and have used only once or twice. Borrow or rent rather than buy.

5. You fall for those too-good-to-be-true, get-rich-quick ideas

Sorry to say, but it’s really true that success is normally 1% inspiration and 99% perspiration. Not everyone wins the lottery, so don’t assume it will be you. Use your time to create value that will last and give you pride and lasting returns on your efforts. Building a business or working up the career ladder takes time and effort, but the rewards will come. Get-rich-quick schemes work well for the people who create them when they convince you to part with your cash to buy into the dreams they are selling, but real wealth creation is a slow process.

6. You have money-sucking (and life-sucking) habits

Where do you actually spend your money? What activities do you do regularly which cost money and return transitory pleasure? Most things are okay in moderation, but when you are spending money on smoking, gambling, drinking, or other bad habits, it’s time to think about changing those habits. Why do we spend our time and money on these activities? The simple answer is normally that addictive habits help us to avoid our feelings. If you are fed up with work, then a few drinks in the evening helps you forget that annoyance. If you are feeling bored, then some chocolate or cake can relieve that frustration a little. Gambling is an addiction which itself involves money directly. Though many gambling sites acknowledge that gambling is addictive and have put policies in place to help problematic gamblers, it is generally not in their interests to actively stop you from gambling. For any addiction, you should seek appropriate help.

7. You use credit to buy items you don’t have the cash for right now

It’s simple: if you cannot afford to pay in cash right now, don’t put it on your credit card. For necessary purchases such as repairs to your car or paying tuition or other costs, work out a payment and saving plan so you can see how much you need to save or can afford to pay each month. Don’t allow yourself to get into debt that you can’t get out of. Also, don’t borrow money from a bank unless you really need to. Banks will charge interest and often want to encourage you to take out loans.

8. You pay retail prices on everything you buy

There are sales every six months and often you can find stores selling very good clothing or other items at discounted prices. An online search will direct you to goods with price cuts too. Many charity shops have started selling “seconds,” or clothing from last season. These garments are perfectly fine but since they are now no longer the most up-to-date line, they can be purchased at a reduced rate. The same is true of cars. Buy a brand new car and pay a higher price. As soon as it is driven off the showroom forecourt, a car is automatically significantly cheaper than a brand new one with very little difference in performance or condition.

9. You pay extra for labels or brands as status symbols

Consider two identical white men’s shirts. One is plain and one has that small blue polo player woven on it. Both are made the exact same way and in the same factory, but which is more expensive? The fashion industry makes a large chunk of money from our desire to be seen wearing a particular brand. Remember that you are lovable and wonderful as you are, without the need to have a name or label to confirm that. Think about purpose rather than about what others will think of you. Dazzle people with your wit and charm instead. Also, store brands are nearly always cheaper than national brands.

10. You think too much about today and not about tomorrow

We love advice like “Live life for today” or “Don’t put off for tomorrow what you can do today.” Of course, have as many experiences as life affords you. However, the money you have now can be set aside or invested so that in the future you will have a financial cushion. We also need to save for retirement and it is estimated that most of us are simply not putting aside enough for our futures. We are now living longer, and so the years post-retirement are increasing too. Think about what your money can create for you long term rather than the immediate gratification it can get you in the present. Think about your long term life goals and save now, whilst you have the opportunity.

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Identity Crisis: Discover Your Identity

Whether you’re questioning your identity or just haven’t taken the time to develop your own identity to begin with, getting to know you is an important part of living a full and happy life. Here are some helpful tips to get to know yourself. Keep in mind to approach this as a fun adventure. These tips can be used in any order, as they’re all about finding your voice and comfort zone.

1. Seek the journal

I’m not talking about the Wall Street Journal, what I mean is the all-about-me journal. Oftentimes, people who have always focused on others feel selfish to take time for their needs and wants, hence their lack of defined identity. Time to get over that misconception and designate a journal that’s just about you and for you. Yes, it’s OK that this is about you. That’s the point. If it’s uncomfortable at first and you don’t know what to write, that’s perfectly fine. Start with a list of things you like, such as your favorite food, time of day, perfume, where you’d love to travel, favorite song or film—anything. Just let it flow. This may sound sophomoric, but it truly releases the flood gates and introduces you to your most basic self. Your list could also include things that you don’t like. That is oftentimes just as telling when establishing an identity.

When I began this exercise, I didn’t know my favorite flower, TV show, or many of my most basic preferences, never mind what I wanted as a career and traits in a quality partner. These baby steps helped me learn about me, allowing me to keep growing and establishing my identity. This can be liberating and accomplish success, thus igniting the desire to continue on the exploration of who one truly is at their core.

2. The wish list

This is actually not wishes but authentic wants. List 50 or 100 things you want. The quantity is important, as it really forces you to search yourself. When I did mine years ago, I easily hit 20 or 30 and then really had to dig deep to reach 50 and above. This was suggested by an advisor many years ago. I still have my original wish list from 2004, as well as subsequent ones from 2008 and 2013. It’s amazing what such an exercise reveals immediately and later on. Happily, this acted as a goal list, unbeknownst to me at the time, as well as a great identity development tool. It feels wonderful to look back and see that I accomplished wants, or dare I say unidentified goals, just by making this list and anchoring them in my heart and mind.

3. Character development

Another tip to getting to know oneself is to consider what characters you admire and what you like about them. It could be someone you know, a movie character, activist, anyone whom you admire or find interesting. As a 30-something woman, I realized that my identity was based on what others wanted and that I acquiesced or adapted to other’s hobbies and interests. So, when divorcing and facing life alone, I had no idea who I was or what I wanted. Not an easy feat to figure out. It was easy, however, to think of people that I admired and what specifically I liked about them, which provided real insight into what I actually possess or like about me. It’s a creative and different way to learn about you, especially if you’re not a list maker.

4. Take action

It’s important to look at this like an exploration or adventure. You’re on an expedition to discover yourself, like Indiana Jones searched for the Holy Grail. Embark on your journey. This is great for hands-on people. Do whatever piques your interest. If you like art, go to a gallery and see which pieces of art you like. Investigate those pieces and artists. Whatever your interest, just do it. Try things. I like to take field notes when I discover new places. Usually, there’s some little nougat that I uncover from such treks, even if as a whole I didn’t enjoy the adventure. If you’re more introverted, you can still dive in and search online for your interests. I encourage trying new things with a learning approach. You’re out to gather information—your likes and dislikes. I now know from escapades that I don’t care for opera and would like those 3+ hours of my life back, however, I do thoroughly enjoy poetry slams—especially judging them. That identity information was gleaned from taking action.

I encourage staying positive and in exploration mode. Learning what one doesn’t like and the journey of self discovery can be just as valuable as quickly knowing what one does like. Everything is a learning experience. The most important thing is to be aware and present. You are the subject, and a very worthy subject at that. Be open and try new things. You will be rewarded for it.

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5 Popular Hair Color Tones For Spring 2016

If you’re looking for a way to brighten up your look in 2016, it might be a good time to try switching up your hair color. Adding some chic tones to your messy mane can give you that beachy look you’ve been after, or maybe a pop of pale pastel pink can give you some fun tussles for Easter! Check out these hair color tone trends for spring 2016.

1. Ronze

This might just turn out to be the year of the redhead. From the red carpet to Pinterest, the ronze hair color trend has been adorning the heads of women everywhere. It’s a middle ground between red and brown that offers a wearable, more dynamic look. Fiery reds don’t always grow out well, and browns can end up looking drab when they lose their shine. That’s where the ronze color comes in, offering a naturally illustrious look that actually requires less upkeep.

If you’re looking for a way to freshen up your complexion, the ronze hair color is the way to go. The deep coppery hues frame the face with a warm and alluring intensity, making the natural beauty of nearly any complexion pop. From skin as fair as Emma Stone’s to Rihanna’s cocoa brown glow, the ronze look has women everywhere stealing the spotlight this spring.

2. Babylights

Ombre and balayage were big in 2015, but there’s another trend that’s been gaining popularity since last summer. The look is called babylights, and you’ll probably be seeing it a lot this spring. Babylighting was inspired by the multi-tonal look that children often have in their hair, especially during the spring and summer. To get that look, stylists lighten small strands of hair all over the head and then “root” your hair by enhancing the natural color at the top of your head. This technique creates that fresh-off-the-beach, sun-kissed look that stars like Drew Barrymore and Cameron Diaz have had recently. An added plus is that it requires very little maintenance, so if you only get your hair done once or twice each year, babylights is the perfect option for you.

3. Rose Gold

Lavender and silvery-gray hues were one of the biggest hair trends of last winter. This spring, expect to see people moving away from that trend toward a palette that samples from warm colors rather than cool. For blondes especially, adding some peach or faint rose colors is as trendy as it gets this spring. These soft tones pair well with the beach-inspired hair colors that are also popular right now, and sampling from the light-pink family creates an enchanting mix that’s sure to turn heads. Rose golds and soft corals are a great way to play with a shimmering hair color without risking too much chemical damage. It’s the perfect look for Easter season!

4. Hair Strobing

Strobing actually started as a makeup technique that highlighted areas of the face where light hits, and the same concept is being used to make hair pop with an illuminated look. The great thing about strobing is that it’s tailored to the structure of your personal features as well as your complexion, so you’re guaranteed a unique look. Many of the prominent strobing highlights are added to the wisps of hair that frame your face, which makes it an excellent way to accentuate your natural features and bring together your overall look.

5. Tortoise Shell

Not entirely unlike the ombre, the tortoise shell hair style (also known as the Ecaille Blend) uses three or more sympathetic colors to blend into the hair. The result is a mix of compatible tones, giving your hair that can’t-look-away element of glamour and movement. This is also a great option for people with thin hair, because the different hues provide a depth that gives a look of fuller volume. Tortoise shell coloring is an ideal color scheme for brunettes who are looking to experiment with their hair tone while staying true to their natural color, and the dimension of the tones really enhances different styling techniques.

Which hair color tone will you try out this season?

Featured Photo Credit: Emma Stone & Rihanna at the 72nd annual Golden Globe Awards by Jason Meritt via Getty Images; Sienna Miller at UK premier of “Burnt” by David Benett via WireImage; Gigi Hadid at “Live with Kelly and Michael” by Josiah Kamau via Getty Images; Brown hair strobing by @majormoonn via Instagram; Ashley Tisdale tortoise hair by @kristin_ess via Instragram.

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