How To Stop Snoring? These Remedies Help You Sleep Better

If you’re one of the 45% of adults who snore sometimes, then listen up: Snoring is more than a nuisance to your bed partner. It’s also a threat to your health.

That’s because snoring can decrease both the quantity and quality of your sleep, and sleep deprivation has been linked to depression, memory problems, impaired judgement and cognitive function, weight gain, heart disease and other heart issues, diabetes, diminished sex drive, impaired work performance, and even an increased risk of death. (If you’re one of the 75% of snorers with obstructive sleep apnea, your risk of heart disease is even higher!) Snoring can also cause tension and resentment between romantic partners, leading to a decrease in emotional and sexual intimacy.

Do I have your attention now? If you’re ready to stop snoring once and for all, read on to learn the common causes of snoring and how to address snoring in both the short and long term.

Causes and Symptoms of Snoring

The basic issue at the root of all snoring is an inability to freely move air through the nose and throat, which then vibrates the nearby tissues and causes that classic rattling sound. A broad range of factors can increase the chances that you’ll snore. Among the most common are:

• Pregnancy
• Allergies, congestion, or other nasal and sinus problems
• Obesity
• Smoking
• Consuming alcohol
• Drugs and medications (especially muscle relaxants)
• Aging
• Genetic factors

While you’ll need to work with a medical professional to determine the exact cause of your snoring, you won’t have any trouble diagnosing the symptoms. The main sign that you’re a snorer is the loud, rattling sound that we all know and don’t love. Other symptoms include experiencing a dry mouth or sore throat upon waking; if you have sleep apnea, you may also experience pauses in breathing (or choking) while you sleep, daytime fatigue, headaches, irritability, and trouble concentrating.

How to Stop Snoring: Short-Term Solutions

Want to decrease your chances of snoring tonight (and on a nightly basis)? Then implement some or all of these strategies every night.

1. Use a humidifier

Some folks may be more prone to snoring when the bedroom’s air is dry, because dry air can irritate (or even swell) nose and throat membranes. Using a humidifier will help maintain consistent moisture content in the air, which may relieve snoring brought on by dryness. On a similar note, be sure to stay hydrated.

2. Open up your nasal passages

This can be a particularly effective way to stop snoring if you’re suffering from allergies or congestion. Try taking a hot shower before bed or using a neti pot, nasal strips, or a nasal spray in order to open the nasal passages and make it easier to breathe freely.

3. Switch to a new sleep position

As anyone who sleeps beside a snorer can tell you, sleeping on the back can often ramp up snoring. The easy fix? Try training yourself to sleep on your side. If you find that you keep rolling onto your back, consider wedging a body pillow behind you or even attaching a tennis ball to the back of your sleep shirt. Bonus: Sleeping on your left side can bring additional health benefits.

4. Try an oral appliance

Oral appliances (aka mouthpieces) are anti-snoring devices that—much like a retainer—are placed over the teeth during sleep. The concept behind the devices is that they’ll keep the user’s airway open, helping to ensure that breath moves freely through the nose and throat.

5. Avoid alcohol before bed

This might be tough to implement if you’re a fan of hitting the bars on weekends, but eschewing alcohol for the four or five hours leading up to bedtime can help reduce your chances of snoring. It’s also a good idea to avoid taking muscle relaxants unless absolutely necessary; consult a medical professional if you feel that a given prescription is contributing to your snoring.

How to Stop Snoring: Long-Term Solutions

In addition to the short-term strategies outlined above, there are a number of steps you can take to reduce or eliminate snoring over the long term.

1. Keep your bedroom and bedding clean

Dust mites and other allergens (such as pollen, dust, or pet dander) can hide in unwashed bedding and provoke congestion, thereby increasing the chances that you’ll snore. Make sure to vacuum and dust your living space on a weekly basis, and wash your bedding (including your pillows) on a similar timetable. But go ahead and leave the bed unmade—research suggests that making the bed can actually provide safe harbor for dust mites.

2. Exercise

Regular exercise tones muscles all over the body—including in the throat. That means that throat muscles are less likely to collapse, making it more likely that you’ll be able to breathe freely in your sleep. Exercise may also help with weight loss, thereby reducing snoring that stems from obesity.

3. Stop smoking

The smoke from cigarettes has been shown to irritate the throat and nasal passages, thereby provoking congestion and inhibiting air flow. Quit smoking, and you’ll breathe more easily through your nose and throat—making it less likely that you’ll snore.

4. Practice throat exercises

There’s some evidence that practicing mouth and throat exercises on a daily basis can strengthen muscles in the respiratory tract (meaning they’ll be less likely to collapse and constrict air flow while you’re sleeping).

If none of these short- or long-term solutions is doing the trick, then it’s time to consult a medical professional. A physician will be able to help you determine the root causes of your snoring, rule out more serious issues like sleep apnea, and identify additional avenues for treatment, such as surgery. Be persistent until you’ve found a solution that truly helps you stop snoring—your health and relationships will be better for it.

Featured photo credit: Lucky Business via shutterstock.com

The post How To Stop Snoring? These Remedies Help You Sleep Better appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1OOk5SW

6 Habits To Largely Improve Your Memory and Brain Power

Would you like to become smarter? Remember things easier? Increase your brain’s overall strength? Good news! I’m going to show you six things you can start doing immediately that will improve your memory, strengthen your cognitive abilities and make you smarter!

Before I start with the six, I must tell you about the one thing that relates to all of them…being mindful.

The most important thing you can do to increase your brain power and memory is to be mindful.

This is basically paying attention on purpose. Being mindful is scientifically proven to increase the gray matter in your brain. Gray matter allows you to think clearer and remember more. The reason I don’t have mindfulness as one of my points is because you have to be mindful to do any of these things!

Maximize Your Sleep Cycle

We sleep 1/3 of our life, or at least we are supposed to. When we sleep, we go through a cycle which include 3 stages. Each stage is 30 minutes (90 minutes per cycle), and the cycle repeats itself throughout the night. The first stage is light sleep, the first 30 minutes, and this occurs when we first fall asleep. The next stage is deep sleep, between 30-60 minutes, and in deep sleep our body heals itself. It does this by releasing the hormone HGH which repairs what the body needs repairing. If you are sore from working out, this is the stage that makes you not sore in the morning.

The final stage, or Stage 3, is the famous REM stage which occurs between 60-90 minutes. This is the stage that repairs our brains. REM is known as the dreaming stage, but is also the stage where it categorizing your thoughts and memories. During the night the cycles treat different stages with different priorities.

Your body is the first thing to heal and then it moves to the brain. This is why they say it is crucially Important to get 7.5 – 9 hours of sleep a night. The average American gets 6.8 and lives in a sleep debt most of their life.

Implementing – Do your best to get 7.5 hours of sleep and if you need to take a nap, take one! If you are one of those people that think sleep is weak and you run just fine on your 6 hours, try getting 7.5 and see how efficient you are, how much better you feel, and notice how good your mood is throughout the day!

Maximize Your Food Intake

You get out what you put in! If you want your car to perform at its best, you put in high octane fuel. If you want your body and brain to perform at its best, you put in high octane food. Begin by cutting down on the amount of food you consume at one time. If you normally eat three larger meals, cut those down to six smaller meals throughout the day. Our brain works best with 25grams of glucose at one time…that is basically a banana. There are also plenty of foods that release hormones like dopamine that make us feel good. Some say two handfuls of cashews equals an antidepressant pill. Although they may be a stretch, why are you not snacking on cashews all day?

Implementing – First, cut down on the size of the meals you are eating! Next, simply think about what you are putting in your body. Everything you put in makes your feel differently, so put in the good stuff! Finally, if you are not sure, look it up. Google is at your fingertips, so use it… your body and brain will thank you!

Write it Down

When you physically write things down your brain looks at it differently than if you type it into your phone or computer. When you actually write it down, it cements it into your brain. When I was in high school I wasn’t a very good student and when it came time to take tests, I always made cheat sheets.

The fascinating thing was I never used them. About an hour before the test, I would look at the possible questions and write down the answers on a small piece of paper. I would then put the paper in my pocket and plan on pulling it out when it was time to retrieve the answer. The thing was, when I would read a question, the answer would come right to me because I had just written it down. I could visualize how I wrote it, and where I wrote it down on the cheat sheet.

Implementing – There are several ways to start doing this. My favorite is write down tomorrow’s activities/responsibilities the night before. What this does is release any worry about what you have to do the next day and you will sleep like a baby! It also allows you to wake up the next day and just follow a schedule…no-brainer! Even though it is better to write things down by hand, have an app on your phone where you can always jot things down when they come to mind. We have so many great ideas that come and go, if you don’t capture them, you may lose it forever!

Get Out of Your Comfort Zone

Getting out of your comfort zone, trying new things, or putting yourself “out there” has an effect on the way your brain sees things. Your brain reacts differently in new environments than when you stay in the same place. When your brain sees the same things all the time, it goes into auto-pilot. It has seen it before so it doesn’t have to work to understand. When you change your scenery, your brain starts to see new things and perceive things differently. It does this because it has to “pay attention.” This is where the magic happens.

What I mean by that, is there are things we all have in our heads which we have no answer for. We may be working on a project or just something you know you are missing and when we introduce our brain to new environments those missing pieces sometimes come to the surface…it’s amazing!

Implementing – This can be done so many different way, but the easiest answer is switching up a routine a bit. A few examples are driving home and working out. Instead of driving home the exact same way, even if it takes you another 5 minutes, take an alternative route to shake up the brain. If you exercise, that’s next; you should change up your routine a bit. Instead of running the same route or the same time and miles per hour on the treadmill, shake it up a bit. You can also add in a new form of exercise to do the same.

Exercise

Besides being great for our body, exercising is amazing for our brain. When we exercise, our brains release endorphins that make us feel good. It also decreases our stress which eliminates the bad hormone cortisol, which I like to call the “dumb” hormone. Cortisol clouds our thinking and decreases our cognitive ability. So, to feel better and think clearer, jump on that treadmill, lift those weights, get to that yoga class or whatever form of exercise you choose is right for you.

Implementing – If you don’t already, start exercising! You don’t have to go to a gym to exercise, there are plenty of workouts you can perform in the privacy of your own home. Beyond that, make conscious decisions to be more active. Take the stairs not the elevator, park away from the building instead of hunting for the best spot, and get up and take a walk every now and again…your body and brain will thank you!

Slow Down

Slowing down may sound like something a lazy person would tell you, but in fact here is why it helps. Being “busy” or “multitasking” are two of the least productive things you can do. When you slow down and mindfully concentrate on one task at a time, you give it 100%. When you multitask two things, you do each at 50% and when you do three, it is 33%, you get the picture. Besides doing the job better and more efficiently, you become less stressed which, yes, eliminates the cortisol in your brain. As we know this allows you to think clearer which will produce less errors. So, in fact, when you slow down you actually increase your productivity.

Implementing – This one is pretty simple, but for some reason one of the hardest. We are so “trained” to go fast, and get things done, but it is that mentality that creates the mess! So, write down the things your are going to do in the next hour/day and mindfully do them one at a time. You will find that you feel better as you get each one done and more relaxed. Slow down and enjoy life!

Start implementing these six habits and you will not only see your brain power and memory increase, you will see your mood lift like never before. So be mindful, put these to work and I’ll see you at the top!

Featured photo credit: Business Bootcamp by Sebastiaan ter Burg via imcreator.com

The post 6 Habits To Largely Improve Your Memory and Brain Power appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1KE1h4T

Psychology Says the Fear of Rejection Can Be a Source of Strength

We all fear rejection and I get it, it makes sense.

Our ancestors had to stay together to survive. If someone was rejected, and became an outcast, that person would  have most likely died off if he was alone in the wilderness.

It has also been said that the human brain treats rejection in a similar way it process physical pain.

Rejection can really suck sometimes.

And it’s true, because I remember the days when I used to be a lost cause. In the 4th grade, I used to have anger issues, emotional problems, and ADHD (still have ADHD)

So whenever someone got me angry, I wouldn’t be able to control my anger and I would beat up anyone who annoyed me. (It felt like a blur of rage and I couldn’t think straight…and before I knew it, it was over)

And I didn’t want to be that kid who was known as the bully because deep down inside I didn’t want to hurt anyone.

But eventually I became an outcast, rejected by everyone. No one to talk to, no one to connect with, and no one to consider a friend for 4 or 5 years straight as a kid.

And the amount of pain, hatred, despair, depression, anger (at myself, at the world, and at God), and hopelessness was so overwhelming that I almost ended my own life.

But thankfully I was able convince myself that I am still way too young to end my life. I still have another chance to have a new life if I went to a high school where I knew absolutely no one. So I painfully waited until I graduated. (there was so much more to this story, but that’s another topic.)

Fear can create doubt if you don’t feel competent.

But when I first started high school, I still remember the fear I had about rejection. I absolutely did not want to be in the same situation I was in when I was in the 4th – 8th grade.

So I studied the popular kids and studied what made them so popular and I copied them. (I knew I was socially awkward because I haven’t had a conversation for 4 – 5 years…besides with myself)

But I found out that it was hard to act like them because I still had that fear inside of me whenever I talked with anyone.

I would ask or say to myself, “What if I sound dumb? What am I even doing? This isn’t who I am. What if they don’t even like me?”

And I began to let the fear control me from not taking action to improve myself. (I began to ask questions that made me doubt myself.)

Fear can control you IF you let it control you.

Then all of a sudden, a whole year passed by and I made some progress, but not enough. I didn’t want this fear to hinder my growth and stop me from obtaining my goals that I need in my life.

I began to embrace the fear and understand that it is necessary to have fear whenever you do anything that creates fear within you. (Making a change in your life is one example that creates fear)

You cannot block out fear and you have to understand that fear will always be there. It’s when you don’t let your fears stop you from taking action.

Trying to not numb yourself of fear is a bad idea.

But some of you might say, “Well can’t we numb ourselves so that we don’t feel fear?”

Well yeah you can, but Brene Brown says that you can’t selectively numb emotions. In her TED talk she says when you try to numb fear, you actually numb all your emotions. (including happiness, and all the other good emotions)

And from my experience, when you become numb, you don’t feel anything. Nothing hurts you but nothing makes you happy. It feels like anything I do is meaningless and that nothing matters in life. (So I suggest you don’t numb yourself, it’s boring either way)

How does fear become a source of strength?

But you might be asking now, “I understand that we need to embrace fear because it will always be there. But how can the fear of rejection (or any kind of fear) be a source of strength?”

It becomes a source of strength, when you absolutely refuse to let your fears control you like you are some mindless puppet. Having courage, or strength, doesn’t mean you are fearless. It means having the strength to do what is necessary, in the face of fear.

You are more than some mindless puppet who lets your fear controls all your actions.

Instead of focusing on your fears and how afraid you are, you focus on performing the task at hand. (We are not completely ignoring the fear, you understand that it’s there but you don’t focus on it to make it worse.)

Example: Soldiers who go back for their wounded members during enemy gun fire show extreme courage. Even though they are afraid of dying, they still continue on in the face of death to save their fellow soldiers.

“Courage is simply the willingness to be afraid and act anyway.” – Dr. Robert Anthony

So be afraid, it’s okay. Just don’t let fear overwhelm you and make decisions for you.

Featured photo credit: Courtney Carmody via flickr.com

The post Psychology Says the Fear of Rejection Can Be a Source of Strength appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1Up06Md

12 Common Mistakes Made By New Bloggers

Nobody’s perfect. When you are just starting to blog, it’s easy to make mistakes because of your lack of knowledge and experience in the field. It’s also possible that you screw things up as you go on publishing new and new posts.

So, to make it easy for you to consider certain points if you are thinking of starting a new blog or to put you back on track if you have run off course, we enlist here 12 common mistakes made by new bloggers.

1. Writing long paragraphs

A long, tedious paragraph without dividers is a common mistake made by every new blogger. Well, you might have put an extraordinary effort in collecting information on the topic and you pour it down.

But readers have been found to be discouraged by long chunks of sentences. Research has found that in average, a reader reads about less than 20% of your writing. Plus, add the fact that people on the web have shorter attention span than other people. So, make sure to have short paragraphs with suitable heading, spaces, bolding so that it feels easy and good to read.

2. Not having pictures or using them the wrong way

Well, if you don’t use any pictures or use small, unclear images in your blog, be ready to take the brunt of it. Remember that a picture speaks more than a thousand words and that visual stimuli are the trick that you can use to your advantage. So, don’t think twice. Use good quality, big images, charts, even clipart to break your paragraphs to turn it into a beautiful piece of writing.

3. Having inconsistent publishing schedule

Many bloggers publish large number of articles at a time and then don’t publish for a month or so. Well, if you do like that, you’re at a terrible loss.

It’s always better to make a publishing schedule so that your audience can anticipate the date of your new publication and can come back at that particular time. If you don’t publish for a long time, your audience will be discouraged and may not show interest in your writings. You can write a bunch all at once and set a publishing schedule that is regular!

4. Not going self-hosted

It’s all right to have a free blog through WordPress or Blogger if your audience are only your friends and family. But if you want to reach lots of people or want to make money eventually, you should consider going self-hosted.

You can buy hosting from companies like One, FatCow, and GoDaddy. The choice of web hosting obviously depends on your requirements. Bluehost is ideal for new bloggers with multiple plans and offering the privilege of reaching someone in customer service if needed.

5. Violating copyright

Many new bloggers commit the mistake of putting someone else’s photo and adding credit by placing a link. It’s violating the copyright hands down because you weren’t given permission to use the photo by its owner.

Be sure to use your own photos or free images. If you need to use images other than yours, you can use Creative Commons images on sites like Flickr. Similarly, don’t copy-paste written content that belongs to other people. Be creative and original.

6. Ignoring SEO

You just can’t ignore SEO if you are to grow your audience. You mightn’t be able to compete with other established sites but you should still never ignore Search Engine Optimization. You will get good traffic to your site if you get the hang of it. You can download the WordPress SEO by Yoast plugin and get started by using it to get target keywords on which you want to rank.

7. Not optimizing their blog’s permalinks

Naturally your blog’s permalinks will be set to something like blogname.com/?p=123 which is not friendly for search engine. It will give no information to Google whatsoever about your post and so, you are bound to lose lots of audience.

The solution is to change permalink settings to show your post or page name after main URL. Take for example the URL of this particular post is http://ift.tt/1OOk5lT of something like http://ift.tt/1Vp2oem.

8. Not adding social media sharing options

The more, the merrier. You will always want to build your audience. But you can’t do it effectively without social media sharing buttons. Who would go through rigmarole of copying your link and pasting your URL when it can just be a button away?

So, social media is a must. But don’t put it at the bottom of your blog. Studies have found that putting social media sharing buttons on top- and left-side of your blog will have best results. Adding them is pretty simple too.

9. Not replying to comments

If you don’t reply to comments on your blog, it’s a blunder. You must reply to comments politely, positively and professionally. It would disappoint and discourage your audience if you don’t take the time to make conversation.

If you make good conversation, exchange more ideas, it will encourage other people to start conversation too and will allure new visitors to visit your blog regularly.  Some readers will even just skip to comments section to see what others found useful before going through your content.

10. Not showing recent/popular posts

Some clever readers will want to check out your most popular posts and recent posts to gauge you if you are worth following or not. So, be sure to make it easy for the audience to find your popular and recent posts. So, put it in sidebar or homepage where it’s clear and easy for the audience.

11. Not giving email subscription option

You should offer email subscription to your readers. Many bloggers just offer RSS subscription feed which isn’t not as friendly as email subscription. So start an email list from the start itself and make it easy for readers to sign up with links on your pages.

12. Expecting quick results

You might expect instant results from your blog like making money but you should make up your mind that it’s not possible. With growing bloggers and more competition, you should be patient.

Your audience will grow at slower rate than you’d expect. But they will grow! So keep up the good work, create good content and be consistent. You will eventually get results.

Featured photo credit: Blogger by StockSnap via pixabay.com

The post 12 Common Mistakes Made By New Bloggers appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1ShJwyC

What Do Kids Really Think About Marriage?

Whatever your views on marriage, you cannot get away from the fact that kids are in the front line and then some! Did you know that almost half of the firstborns today in the USA are born to unwed mothers? You may also be shocked to learn that by the time they are 16, about 50% of American kids will have to experience their parents’ divorce. That is about I million children a year.

Whether parents cohabit, marry, or divorce, the kids are always altered, for better or for worse. So, let us ask the kids what they think of marriage. Maybe they can teach us a few things about this institution because kids can be intuitive, perceptive, wise or naïve. It is fascinating to hear what their impressions are.

On Dedication

Marriage thrives on the couple having independent satisfying lives, according to all the marriage counselors out there. But you can have too much of a good thing because too much independence can lead to infidelity or being a workaholic. Perhaps kids realize what the warning signs are, such as:

“Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.” – Erin, age 8

On Praise

“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.” – Ricky, age 10

Spouses love being appreciated and given compliments on their talents, accomplishments and appearance. Who doesn’t like to be praised for how they look?

On Love and Children

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” – Brad, age 8

Married couples are easily recognized. Usually, the loving glances and the affectionate arm holding as they walk the mall, make them easy to spot.

“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” – Henny Youngman

But what happens when discipline problems rear their ugly heads and kids get out of control?

“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.” – Derrick, age 8

How do couples end up married?

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”- Will Ferrell

This question is an easy one for the adults to answer. Opposites attract or we end up with people who look like and behave just like us. Remember how you thought that your parents were just meant for each other? Some kids go a bit further and say it was all decided a long time ago!

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” – Kristen, age 10

Divorce has profound effects on the kids

It is heart wrenching to watch the video below as children describe what they went through when their parents divorced. It is startling to realize how sensitive and perceptive the kids are as to what is happening around them, even when their parents refuse to tell them anything. They also take on the stoical role so as to protect the parents from the extra burden of worrying about them. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

Kids’ views on marriage in general

As the discussions widen to include gay marriage, Jimmy Kimmel wanted to find out what kids think of that and also marriage in general. The responses here are surprisingly savvy. It seems that the worries about having to explain equal marriage to kids is unfounded. They seem to be well ahead of the game.

I love it when the kids who is asked “when is a good time to get married’” replies “in the afternoon.” It is also interesting to realize that many kids see that marriage is not always a picnic.

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” – Kenny, age 7

Featured photo credit: A family gathered in the kitchen at home looking at photographs/ Personal Creations via flickr.com

The post What Do Kids Really Think About Marriage? appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1PCL9Z5

Three Tips for Controlling Your Emotions

How can you get better at controlling your feelings?

The language of this question reveals a biased belief that there are bad emotions requiring control – which means exerting power to subdue. Here’s a simply radical shift in perspective: How can I get better at harnessing my feelings? Let’s call it Navigating Emotions.

In this 5 minute video, Dr. Barbara Fatum offers practical tips for all of us do a better job with our feelings, including ideas on how to teach this invaluable skill to children — here’s the video.

Easy Tips for Controlling Emotions

1. Change your perspective

Emotions, even challenging ones like anger, fear and jealousy, are there for a reason! They’re messages from you to you — there’s wisdom. Instead of “controlling” the emotions, control your behavior. (Hitting, shouting, hurting, running are all behaviors).

What if we could interact with other people with that same calm, powerful, effortless ease? One major reason we don’t is that we get caught up in small tensions and conflicts. These “bumps” usually escalate into two sides both needing to be right because we’re so good at sensing danger.

At the very core of our being is a set of reactions that help us survive. Thousands of years of practice have refined our ability to protect ourselves from threat and danger. We don’t have turtle-like shells or tiger-like fangs — we have super-sensitive brains.

When our brains perceive a threat, they react to protect us; it’s a survival response built into the limbic brain (or “emotional brain”). Depending on biology and experience, that protection comes from fighting, fleeing, or freezing. Some people also add another “f” — “flocking” or herding together. It is almost impossible to avoid that impulse; we are literally hard-wired to react that way to defend against threat.

So, if I threaten you, I can almost guarantee that you will react by fighting, fleeing, or freezing. You will “be defensive” by attacking back, retreating, evading, or ganging up with others. Of course, depending on your reaction, you can almost guarantee that I will respond with one of those as well.

The “threat response” is part of what Dr. Daniel Goleman called “hijacking the amygdala” and is well defined in Dr. Joseph LeDoux’s research. The amgydala is one of the primary emotional centers in the brain; one core function is reacting to perceived danger. As Dr. Peter Salovey says, this reaction is actually an example of the intelligence of our emotions — a kind of “emotional logic” is followed and decisions are made with little or no cognitive thought; the problem is that few of us have developed this aspect of our intelligence.

So what constitutes “threat” from the amygdala’s point of view? Almost any interaction where someone is trying to take power over someone else will trigger the “survival response.” People try to take power by putting others down, shaming, blaming, embarrassing, judging, discrediting, and dividing.

You can see this dynamic at play on a daily basis in most businesses, schools, and families. I want to be right so I walk in blaming and judging, putting down other people; if I “make them less” it seems to strengthen my position. The other person reacts in survival mode, and the situation escalates. It happens almost every time. Yet, time after time, I see myself and others surprised and disappointed when people are defensive!

 2. Create emotions strategies.

Consider: What do you want to happen next? Based on these factors: What feelings will help make that happen? Do you have any of those feelings? Chances are, in any situation you have multiple feelings — call on the ones that will help you move forward.

3. Charge your compassion batteries.

It’s tough to make emotionally wise choices when you’re feelings of compassion are hiding. Interestingly, actively practicing to care about others increases your compassion — which increases your own inner peace.

One of the basic facts about emotion: Feelings motivate.

Fear motivates protection.

Anger motivates attack.

Joy motivates connection.

Disgust motivates rejection.

Trust motivates stepping forward.

Sorrow motivates withdrawing.

Surprise motivates stopping to assess.

Anticipation motivates looking forward.

There are myriad combinations of these expressed in thousands of words for feelings.

Featured photo credit: Hands Over Heart/Dollarphoto via media.lifehack.org

The post Three Tips for Controlling Your Emotions appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1PiPA9h

Why New Year’s Resolutions Make You Unhappy

The Brain Science Behind Why Long Lists Don’t Work

So, you have 10 New Year’s resolutions? This year for sure you will: lose weight, quit smoking, jog daily, or meditate.  According to British psychologist Richard Wiseman, 88% of all resolutions end in failure, no matter how many years they are repeatedly tried.  Now, neuroscience is telling us why New Year’s resolutions don’t work. It turns out the longer the list, the more likely you are to fail.

But just why are our old habits so hard to break?

The Science of Resolutions

The brain area largely responsible for willpower is the prefrontal cortex (located just behind the forehead). This area of the brain is also in charge of keeping us focused, handling short-term memory and solving abstract problems.

An experiment at Stanford by Dr. Baba Shiv revealed that if you load down this decision making part of the brain with extra tasks, it becomes fatigued. When it is tired or overloaded, is more likely to give in to temptation. Like any muscle, you can only ask it to do so much. So, the take home message is: Keep it short, and don’t overpromise.

Rewards or Punishment?

The brain contains an area referred to as the reward system.  This area is the brain’s most primitive motivational system, one that evolved to propel us toward action and consumption.

How does the reward system compel us to act?  When the brain recognizes an opportunity for reward, it releases a neurotransmitter called dopamine.  Dopamine tells the rest of the brain what to pay attention to.  A dopamine rush doesn’t create happiness itself, but rather the feeling of arousal.  For more on this topic read Josh Freedman’s blog at Six Seconds, the Emotional Intelligence Network.

Does all this mean we can’t break ANY bad habits? No. We just can’t break them all at once. The idea of willpower is that we can force ourselves to change. This is forgetting one key ingredient to changing our behavior: self-awareness. Until we recognize our patterns and what role our habits play in our lives, we can’t change them. Emotional intelligence, or being smart with emotions, begins with self-knowledge. Here are some EQ (emotional quotient) ways to learn more about what drives you to engage in activities that may not be good for you.

Here are two ways to succeed in changing to more positive behaviors:

Pare your list down…

…to one or two things that really make you happy: for example, rather than “I will jog 10 miles a day” (and you hate jogging 1 mile), list, “I will walk with a friend tomorrow evening and talk about our plans for our trip to Hawaii.”

Focus on one area of your life you could improve:

How do I feel about the various domains of my life (e.g., work, family, community, spirit)?

Feelings, of course, provide outstanding data for this reflection.

Where I feel anxious, stressed, worried… perhaps I’m missing some crucial link.

Where I feel sad, lonely, or disconnected, perhaps I can re-invest.

Where I feel excited, hopeful, energized, perhaps I can find a clear next step.

Focus is about choosing where to commit that most precious resource: time.  To focus is to let go of lesser priorities.  To say “no” so you can more fully say “yes.”

Instead of a specific “resolution,” what’s one area of your life or work you’d like to put in focus.  One value you’d like to strengthen?

If the goal is to lead a life well lived, perhaps being happy all the time is not the goal, but to live an examined, conscious life that would make our families proud of us. Here’s to a happy, stress-free new year!

Featured photo credit: Running, outdoor, fit/BillionPhotos.com via media.lifehack.org

The post Why New Year’s Resolutions Make You Unhappy appeared first on Lifehack.

from Lifehack http://ift.tt/1OOk6Xa