The Routine is the Goal, Not the Result

Goal setting is fun. Really fun. We get to think about all the cool stuff that we want to do with our lives, all the places we wanna go, the weights we wanna lift, all the radness we want to achieve. When you achieve something you want to, you can proudly cross an item off your list — one that you have earned.

But if goals are so rad, why do so many people struggle with them?

Why do we spend so much time trying to create new and better ones when the old ones don’t pan out as expected?

Case in Point: New Years Resolutions. They’ve become such a watered-down exercise in personal change that they have become a running joke. At cocktail parties across the world on the eve of a New Year people joke about the resolutions they are never going to keep.

But if we have the intention to do better, to be fitter and faster, than why do we have such a hard time seeing them through?

Reasons Goal Setting is So Tough

Deadlines rarely work. Some people work with deadlines, others don’t. When those deadlines come in too quickly, we get discouraged and throw the whole goal out the window.

We stink at forecasting at how long it will take to accomplish something. There is nothing worse than coming up against a random setback or something you didn’t come up with in the first place. Illness, injury, a full weekend bender of Netflix can all seem like setbacks but can also count as simply living your life. Those who are diving into a fresh workout plan, and aren’t as realistic as they need to be about how much time it takes to make that progress are especially prone to this.

Goals are all or nothing. Goal setting tends to make us a little crazy. And panicked. As a result, we launch ourselves into whatever it is we want to achieve with everything we have. Before long—for some it is a couple days, others make it for a couple weeks—we get burnt out. A routine—especially one that is so small that it is impossible to say no to, builds something exceptionally more powerful than anything you can achieve with a spurt of high amounts of effort—and that is making exercise habitual.

Deadlines are almost always inflexible. Achieving a goal is a best case scenario. It requires you to be 100% on, every time you are at the gym, with every day required to be a top-notch workout in order to achieve your goal.“I am going to need to go to the gym every day for the rest of the month to hit my target!” And while holding a gun to your head might work for some people, it doesn’t work for most.

Goals leave you feeling “less than.” The thing I like least about goals is that the moment you make one, it immediately puts you in a position of feeling as “less than” Your goal is to lose ten pounds? Until that happens you will always feel like something is lacking. Wanna add 100 pounds to your bench press? You’ll view yourself unfavorably or as “weak” until you hit that goal.

The Power of Implementing Routines

So if there are limitations to goals and goal setting, how do we go about getting the things we want? Simply: Adopt routine. Be willing to embrace the boring consistency that comes from showing up every day at the gym. After all… Something funny happens when we adopt the routine and systems.

They remove the pressure that comes with them, and takes you out of a mindset where you are stressed about whether you are progressing fast enough, to a mindset where you are focusing on taking things one day at a time. At that point the end goal, the reason you initially got back into the gym or ramped up your commitment to the gym, is almost moot. The goal, the scale, the measuring tape, are all things that fall to the back of your mind.

And to be frank, it is a pretty liberating feeling.

When you can unshackle yourself from the chains and pressures of that goal in the horizon, of stressing about whether or not you are making the kind of progress you want at the pace you desire, than you can unburden yourself and focus solely on the workout today

Destroying your squat PR is going to be a hell of a thing. Running 2 miles further then the week before is awesome. Benching a weight you always thought impossible is rad. Something to pause and celebrate.

But being the guy or gal that shows up every day and absolutely kills it at the gym? Now that is something to be stoked about.

This post was originally published over at YourWorkoutBook.com.

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5 Common lies people tell themselves when considering weight loss surgery

With New Year’s resolutions the name of the game at the moment, weight loss is most likely on the minds of many. In fact, a YouGov poll taken in December 2014 showed that weight loss was by far the most common resolution, at 35% of all respondents; 2015 was no different, with a Marist poll showing weight loss remaining on top.

One of the ways that people may consider losing weight is by undertaking surgery, but there are numerous risks involved. When dealing with something as complicated and sensitive as weight loss, sometimes people may feel like they have no hope other than surgery, even going so far as to convince themselves that it is the best option, even when it’s not. Let’s take a look at 5 of the most common lies people tell themselves when moving towards a decision to have weight loss surgery to meet their goals.

“I’ve tried everything”

Losing weight is not just a physical challenge, but a mental one as well; being in the wrong mindset and taking shortcuts will not help you in the long term. Remember that weight loss is not easy: it takes time, effort, and sometimes major lifestyle changes. Consider whether you have really put in the hard work before you move straight to weight-loss surgery.

“I have bad genes”

Recent research has shown that genetic predisposition to obesity does exist, but that exercise can nearly completely counteract any genetic effects. This means that even if you do have a genetic predisposition to obesity, with exercise and a healthy diet you should still be able to lose the weight. The study’s lead author noted that “we’re not complete slaves to our genetic makeup and really can make a big difference to our future health by changing our behaviour,” so don’t rely on your genes as an excuse.

“It’s a low-risk surgery”

Even though studies have backed up the relative low risk nature of bariatric surgery, consider whether putting yourself at risk is the right thing to do in your circumstances. One factor to think about is that even though the surgery itself may be low risk, any time that you have surgery performed, you risk becoming a victim of medical negligence or accident. A firm of medical solicitors carried out research on more than 1000 negligence cases, which revealed that surgical negligence was the most common type of medical negligence they dealt with, at 30% of all cases.

The most common consequences of surgical negligence in a failed bariatric surgery were:

• constant pain (61% of those affected);
• internal injuries and intermittent internal pain; and
• patients who experienced procedures without informed consent.

“I fully understand the risks and did the research”

The main issue here is that most of the risks involved in weight loss surgery are unpredictable accidents – so no matter how much research you’ve done, you can still be vulnerable.

It’s also important to ensure that you’ve considered long-term risks, and numerous flow-on effects are still being found to affect patients even years after surgery. For example, a recent study from Taiwan found that bariatric surgery could cause nutrient loss from bones, and lead to an increased risk of bone fractures down the line. Another recent study found that weight-loss surgery could cause “stress and anxiety, and changes in hormones,” both of which led to an increased risk of self-harm for bariatric surgery patients. These types of risks are hard to predict and may not be listed as “risks” in many pamphlets or websites about the surgery.

“I need it”

Most doctors recommend surgery only to patients who:

• Have a body mass index (BMI) of 40 or more. This would be about 100 pounds overweight for men or 80 pounds for women;
• Have a lower BMI (but are still obese) and have a serious health problem related to obesity, such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes, severe sleep apnea, or high cholesterol;
• Have tried unsuccessfully to lose weight by other means; and
• Fully understand the risks.

If you still want to move forward with the procedure, make sure you visit another doctor and look for a second opinion before and after the surgery.

Whatever you decide to do, ensure that you have all the information before you proceed, and consider whether you really have exhausted all of your other options. It can be too easy to view weight loss surgery as more minor than it truly is, especially with rates of bariatric surgery increasing rapidly. Just because it may look like “everyone else is doing it,” it doesn’t mean it’s right for you.

Featured photo credit: Daniel Oines via flickr.com

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Best Cashback Sites for the Holidays

Whether you are getting ready to complete some last-minute holiday shopping or are looking for a good way to save money in the New Year, there are some websites that can help you reduce your expenses. Cashback sites promise to make online purchases less expensive, and some of them are definitely the real deal.

How Do Cashback Sites Work?

Each cashback site has its own specific rules, but the basic formula remains the same. These websites make money by having an affiliate link to popular e-retailers, and they share part of their earnings with their users. Before you buy something, you need to click through the cashback site to your online store of choice. Any qualifying purchases will then earn you a credit with the cashback site. After you have accumulated enough credit, you will be able to receive a cashback reward.

There are several cashback sites available, but it is typically best to stick with just one or two of them so that you can earn rewards more quickly. Here is a starter list of ten of the best cashback sites to help you get started.

1. Ebates

Ebates users have accumulated more than $325 million in cashback rewards since this site was launched in 1999. This makes Ebates one of the top choices for consumers who want to earn money on their purchases. The perks that make this one of the best cashback sites for members includes a combination of coupons and a reward that is equal to anywhere from 1 to 40 percent of the purchase price. When you put these two methods together, it is easy for people to end up saving a lot of money on holiday gifts.

2. BeFrugal

BeFrugal has been helping consumers save money since 2009. This cashback site utilizes a program that is similar to Ebates, and users can save up to 30 percent on items from more than 4,000 stores. Additionally, Be Frugal offers online coupon codes and printable coupons that can be used at approximately 250 national restaurant chains. Users can also take advantage of the Fly or Drive Calculator to determine which option makes the most sense from a financial perspective.

3. FatWallet

FatWallet is owned by the same parent company as Ebates, but they both manage to offer unique functionality that sets them apart from each other. FatWallet follows the same basic formula by offering cashback and online coupons. However, this site places a bigger emphasis on deals and coupons, and consumers can sign up to receive alerts when a specific item goes on sale. Because of these variances, it may make sense for frugal online shoppers to use FatWallet to track sales prices even if they choose a different cashback site for other purposes.

4. Extrabux

Extrabux is also part of the Ebates family, and users have reportedly earned a combined $34 million in cashback rewards to date. Entrepreneur.com has called the company a “Social-Shopping Goldmine, and coupons and up to 30 percent in cashback are available for 2,500 e-retailers, and users instantly earn $5 just for signing up. Extrabux features a comparison shopping tool that makes it possible to quickly determine what online store has the best price on anything that you are looking for.

5. ShopAtHome

ShopAtHome was launched in 1986, which makes it the oldest surviving cashback site. Between the app and the website, consumers can search through more than 100,000 active coupon codes and earn up to 30 percent cashback from a list of 3,000 stores. ShopAtHome has an impressive 98 million users, and they have paid out more than $50 million in cashback rewards. The app contains exclusive discounts and rewards. Users can request a payment after they rack up $20 in their account.

6. Mr. Rebates

Mr. Rebates has been offering deals to consumers since 2002, and there is even a $5 cashback sign bonus making its rounds on youtube. Members can also earn a cashback percentage of up to 30 percent for each purchase they make, and some companies offer a flat dollar amount. There are also coupons offered for more than 2,000 online stores. Mr. Rebates pays members after they earn $10 in cashback rewards, and payments are offered via check or PayPal.

7. TopCashBack

TopCashBack began as a U.K. cashback site in 2005, and the company launched their U.S. version six years later. The website has discount codes and cashback rewards just like every other option on this list, but with one major difference: TopCashBack promises to rate match if you find a better deal on another site. In other words, if TopCashBack is offering 3 percent back for an online retailer but ShopAtHome will give you 4 percent, you can get TopCashBack to honor the 4 percent rate. ShopAtHome also makes all of its revenue from ads, which means that they give 100 percent of the cashback that e-retailers offer directly to consumers.

8. Swagbucks

Swagbucks embraces the typical formula of giving users discount codes and cashback on purchases. This site also provides an expanded list of options for earning account credits. For example, there are several surveys that users can take, and you can also watch short video advertisements to add more Swagbucks into your account. As an added bonus, Swagbucks has its own search engine, and this means that you can earn rewards by simply surfing the web. This combination has led to payouts that total more than $116.7 million.

9. MyPoints

MyPoints predates Swagbucks, but the two have a very similar platform. You can print coupons and earn 10 points each time you redeem one in a local store. Facebook credits can be earned and points are also awarded for taking surveys and playing games. Making an online purchase through an affiliate will typically provide you with a pre-specified number of points. After you accumulate enough points to order a reward, you can choose between gift cards, cash or travel miles.

10. Main Street Shares

Main Street Shares was formerly known as BigCrumbs, but this cashback site has decided to up the ante by making users eligible to earn additional money if the startup is acquired in the future by a bigger company. Therefore, while you are taking advantage of coupons and cashback rewards, you will also see your msSHARES amount continuously increase. Main Street Shares has pledged to share at least 50 percent of any future acquisition revenue with members who have earned msSHARES.

As you can see, all of these cashback sites have at least a couple of things in common, so it would be wise to determine which ones offer deals for your favorite online stores. From there, you can add at least one of these sites to your existing list of ways to save money. With a little time and patience, you can earn enough cashback to dramatically cut back on your holiday expenses.

Featured photo credit: Cash Back/GotCredit via flic.kr

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How to Help a Loved One Manage Anxiety

Anxiety is not a dismissible “phase.” Anxiety is often a symptom of mental illness. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association of America, approximately 18 percent of the US population over the age of 18 is affected by some sort of anxiety disorder.

If your loved one is struggling with anxiety, you will no doubt want to do everything you can to help them win that battle. But where do you start?

Understanding Anxiety

In order to be able to help your family member who suffers from anxiety, you first need to be informed. There are three main anxiety disorders that have their own symptoms, but all three have a common core—irrational and excessive worry and fear.

Generalized Anxiety Disorder (GAD)

People afflicted with generalized anxiety disorder can’t help but worry over the smallest things, concerning themselves with problems that don’t yet or even may never exist. After managing to get through another day, they lie awake at night imagining and stressing over the worst possible outcome of whatever situations the following day will bring.

Panic Disorder

Those with a panic disorder experience sudden overwhelming feelings of fear that lead to breathing problems, dizziness, chest pains, and more. People with panic disorder will tend to avoid areas where they’ve experienced panic attacks before, due to fear the memories may induce another attack.

Social Anxiety Disorder (Social Phobia)

Social anxiety disorder causes individuals to have difficulty talking with others even though they do want to have conversations. They often avoid places that usually have lots of people, even the grocery store. Making and keeping friends is often a daunting thought for them, as well.

For more information on these anxiety disorders and their symptoms and treatment options, visit the National Institute of Mental Health website.

Helping Your Loved One

If you have a family member who suffers from any of these anxiety disorders, there are ways in which you can help. Your loved one is facing a constant battle against stress and fear, which can be detrimental to their health, as well, so they could really use a dose of warmth and compassion from you. Your support throughout their battle is sure to lighten their load and perhaps even give them the boost of confidence they need to help them overcome anxiety.

Make Time for Your Loved One

Many people who suffer with anxiety disorders lack the self-confidence to get themselves through social situations, especially when by themselves. Being around a loved one may make them feel more secure and more willing to open up even slightly in social situations. Arrange weekly outings for you and your family member. They can be anything from grocery shopping or spending a day at the mall, to visiting museums or galleries, or even just a walk around the local park. Regular outings are a great way to expand your loved one’s socializing skills and help them overcome their anxiety disorder, especially if they are suffering from a social phobia.

Help Your Family Member Discover a Hobby

In addition to outings, try helping your loved one discover a new hobby. Taking up a hobby is an excellent way to relieve the mind of stress and worry, because many hobbies require concentrating on the tasks at hand. Some hobbies particularly helpful with people suffering from anxiety disorders are…

• Gardening
  Being surrounded by and interacting with nature is healthy for the mind and body. Consider starting a vegetable garden with your loved one. You can both reap the benefits—the soothing, relaxing sensation of becoming one with nature as well as the fruits of your labor.
• Cooking
  Speaking of the fruits of your labor…you can use your homegrown veggies to delve into culinary arts experiments. Cooking with a partner can be a blast, especially when it’s with someone you love. Look up online recipes or watch cooking shows together, or Google local culinary classes to get out and about and help your loved one find people who share their interests.
• Writing
  Just like talking with a good friend, writing about your struggles helps you better clarify your thought process, which may in turn ease your stress. Suggest this method to your family member who is suffering from anxiety. Maybe you could sit down together, each write a piece, and then discuss each other’s troubles.
• Join a Book Club
  Reading is another great escape from stress. Getting involved with a book club can help your loved one ease into expressing their opinions among a small group and get to know others with similar interests.

Further information on these and other relaxing hobbies particularly helpful for people with anxiety disorders can be found here.

Never Judge Your Loved One

It’s in our nature as humans to judge others, despite our efforts to remain neutral. We develop our first impression of someone within seven seconds of our initial encounter, based mostly on nonverbal characteristics. But when spending time with your loved one, it’s important for them to know that you care about their well-being, despite their rocky situation.

Your family member suffering from anxiety may find comfort in talking about their feelings with you, about the struggles they’re going through. You’ll improve your relationship with your loved one if you can overcome the curse of judgement and open your heart and mind to their situation, express your concern and offer a shoulder.

Any anxiety disorder can be detrimental to a person’s health. If your loved one or someone you know is suffering from an anxiety disorder, be sure to reach out for further help, information, and support when needed.

Featured photo credit: The endless road by Ryan McGuire via imcreator.com

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5 things every woman should know about their menstrual cycle

It seems like from the time we are very young women are affected in some way by the monthly cycle. For young girls it is through our older sisters, cousins, aunts, and female relatives where we see the effects of menstruation, in how they change their day to day, moods, and how they interact with us as children.

In adolescence we look forward to the growth into womanhood. We think that menstruation will be a sign showing we’re becoming adults, even though we don’t understand the hormones and moodiness which we later learn will plague us through one week out of the month– not to mention the uncomfortable cramps, struggling with being at school when you don’t feel good, and not being able adequately process and deal with the all the changes happening in our suddenly strange little bodies.

Once we’ve passed the mile marker into adulthood, we spend the rest of our time trying to figure out how to get rid of menses, contain it, control it, or otherwise manipulate this very natural part of our lives until menopause…which is an entirely different post.

What we don’t learn about our periods is learning to track and pay attention to what your cycle is doing; naturally, this is your first clue as to what’s happening with your health. Furthermore, it’ll give you great insight into your own moods, feelings, energy levels, and the power of really knowing and understanding your menstrual cycle. This gives you the power to use the information to enhance your life, instead of believing it is a burden.

Here are five things you may not have known about your cycle and how they can relate to your health.

1) Notice the Flow

Just keeping an eye on your monthly flow can help you determine changes happening in your body. Is it lighter? Heavier? Did you have to use more protection or less? Are you suddenly bleeding more than usual?

Granted, it may seem like you’re losing a lot of blood during your cycle, but, on average, women only shed about a cup from the uterine lining. It’s not unusual to have a few days of heavy flow. With that said, increased heavy flow for 5 days or more can cause anemia, polyps, or endometriosis, some very serious health issues.

On the other side of this, if you continually experience extremely light periods (without birth control) you could be suffering from poor nutrition, extreme stress, or it could be an indicator of an auto-immune disorder or other health issue.

2) Notice the color

Ideally, you’re period will start with a bright cranberry color. However, if your cycle starts with brown, dried up looking blood this is old blood which didn’t get shed last cycle. This can be a symptom of low-progesterone. On the flip side, if it’s heavy bleeding with almost a dark purple look to it, this could be s symptom of too much estrogen in the body. An easy check. Does your period resemble frozen blueberries (too much estrogen), strawberry jam (too little estrogen) or cranberry (healthy).

3) Notice the texture

If you suddenly notice dark or liver colored clots and clumps in your period, where you normally don’t, it may be time to pay attention to what’s happening with your body. There are a lot of things in the body which an affect menstrual flow. Heavy, dark clots could possibly indicate an iron deficiency, a vitamin deficiency such as C or K. Painful menses with clots could indicate endometriosis, fibroids, or cysts.

4) Notice PMS symptoms

As a young woman you may have been taught PMS is a natural part of having your monthly cycle, but the truth is, PMS isn’t something women should struggle with. Your first instinct might be to reach for painkillers, but pay attention first to what’s happening and how often.

PMS can happen anytime between ovulation and menses and can be a source of real emotional and physical suffering for many women. Symptoms can including mood swings, bloating, headaches, and fatigue. Not to mention cravings.

Making some changes to your food/drink during this time will help. Look for foods high in magnesium, calcium, and B vitamins. Extreme PMS can be a symptom of emotional imbalance, which can lead to other health issues.

5) Notice the frequency

Of course if you’re not on birth control and suddenly miss your period, the first thing you want to check is if you’re pregnant. If that’s a big no, then, keep in mind the absence or frequency of your cycle can tell you a lot about your health. The absence of your cycle can be called secondary amenorrhea, when it happens for six months or more. Furthermore, this is often seen in obese women, or incredibly lean women (less than 13% body fat). Excessive exercise for long periods of time can cause this also. If none of those factors fit, then keep in mind it could be an over-active thyroid or even a brain tumor.

On the flip side, super short cycles—bleeding more than once in a 28 day cycle—can indicate a possibly sluggish thyroid. If you’re cycle is three days or less, then it could indicate a shortage of estrogen in the body.

Whatever may be happening with your cycle, keep in mind, your monthly flux can be a very strong indicator of your health. Instead of hating your cycle, use it to keep yourself in the best health ever.

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10 Tips For People Who Want To Try Meditation

The ultimate tip in meditation is simply allowing yourself to be. I wanted to ensure I started this article on the right note, without placing too much emphasis and rigid rules on something that’s meant to help you center yourself.

For some, meditation is repeating a powerful and meaningful mantra, in order to increase their own vibrations. For others, it is opening or realigning of their chakras to feel rooted and connected. For many however, meditation means sitting or lying still, saying OM and eventually reaching enlightenment. Meditation can be all of those things and it can also be none of those things. I will list some simple ways to help you begin meditation, without pressure or expectation, if that’s what you need but also how to recognize meditation in its many forms.

1. Turn off your phone and limit distractions

I need to start here in order to point out that meditation is a selfish endeavor to help you become more selfless. In order to begin a deep meditation, you must focus on the very things you do regularly. One simple trick is to breathe in counting to four, hold your breath for another count of four and release on the final count of four. Repeating this simple habit during meditation can calm your thoughts, keep you in the present moment and bring tremendous relaxation.

It’s hard to focus on your breath with the TV in the background or your phone buzzing with alerts and texts every few minutes. Give yourself the time to breathe. When you position it that way, you can find five minutes in your busy day to simply sit and breathe.

2. Get comfortable

A lot of meditative poses and stances look incredible in pictures but feel very uncomfortable. Don’t worry about your hands or being in the lotus position. Simply find a spot you feel safe and at ease in and a position you’re comfortable holding for at least five minutes. This is a brief indulgent period of time you’re carving for yourself so whatever essentials (pillow, blanket, a fan…) will help should be considered beforehand.

3. Put on some music

Often when starting meditation, it’s the sudden silence that’s unsettling. The same silence contrasts the rambling thoughts dashing around your head. Find music you find soothing online or through a free app on your phone before beginning your meditation. That simple step will get you nice and relaxed, aiding once you begin to focus on your breath.

Another choice I personally find very helpful is guided meditation. Sometimes, you simply don’t know what to do and you spend all your focus wondering if you’re doing it right. Following a guided meditation allows you to simply listen to the voice of your guide and allowing yourself to fall into a meditative trance.

4. Allow your thoughts

A huge myth of meditation is that you have to stop thinking. By simply following the first step listed and focusing on your breath, on the silent gratitude you feel for being able to inhale and exhale, your thoughts will inevitably slow down. You don’t have to banish them or exert too much energy on trying to control them.

Let them flow at first, focusing on everything, including the colors you see when your eyes are closed and slowly let them go. Don’t shoo them away rudely like unwanted guests, just let them go as if they’re memories that will return to you again. Let go of judgments about everything, especially about whether you are doing this the right or wrong way. If you can’t succeed with slowing your thought process at first, just focus on the positive and keep breathing.

5. Allow your emotions

Being connected to yourself often means allowing everything to flow through you with acceptance. Meditation will teach you to respect your many emotions and try to understand them rather then quickly trying to rationalize or avoid them. When you feel fear, it’s no longer your mind judging you for being weak. Meditation will turn that into an inquiry, to search for the root of that fear. Treating your emotions as valid will lead to greater self-love and patience as you work through small and big issues alike and prevent them from reoccurring so frequently.

6. Practice meditation

Meditation is no different from any other exercises or aspiration in your life. The more you meditate, the easier it will be to make this a habit. Start small if needed, with five minutes a day and once you begin to enjoy the calm that this practice bring, repeat it for another five minutes at night before bedtime. Aim to meditate at least three times per week.

7. Be Patient

Even the wisest man starts with one wise thought. Every time you fail at meditation, remind yourself that there is no failure because you paused, you breathed, you relaxed. Some days you will be more distracted than on others, some days might feel more fluid once you begin your practice. Pat yourself to sticking with it long enough to experience both type of days. Be patient with your practice and be kind to yourself.

8. Keep yourself accountable

Keep a calendar or a meditation journal handy to jot down the days you’ve successfully completed your practice. This will help to keep you motivated. The journal is a great tool for noting any of the pressing thoughts you either accepted or derailed during your meditation. As you practice more often, you might even be able to make strong realizations that can help or guide you personally.

9. Forgive

It’s a lot easier to sit or lay in a relaxed manner and delve deep into yourself when you don’t have any grudges or heavy emotions tearing at you. As you make meditation a habit, it will be easier to let go of things that no longer serve you and to harness your energy, effort, will and heart into the present – where you belong.

10. Grateful meditation

If you’re too restless for standard meditation and simply can’t grasp sitting still, there’s something else you can do every day that’s just as simple and beneficial. Start with a minute, a pen and a piece of paper. Write down three things you are grateful for. Most people have to think a bit to jot three things down.

That moment of reflection and appreciation on the little things in life is meditation. The hint of smile, internal or external, as you realize the things you’re grateful for today is meditation. Once you finish jotting them down, drop your pen and hold on to that feeling for another minute and say Thank you. To the universe. To yourself. To the present.

Namaste.

Featured photo credit: Sleeping Buddha by Matt Westgate via flickr.com

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9 Struggles Only People Who Seldom Smile But Are Actually Happy Would Know

We cannot all be alike. Yes there are differences between us and certain individuals. To be happy doesn’t mean it has to be physically expressed with a smile. Happiness shouldn’t be falsified in a smile. To us, who do not smile often we simply have to deal with certain realities. And here are 9 struggles that we have to put up with.

1. You find that many people aren’t sharing their jokes with you

It’s not as if they don’t want you to share in their amusement or make you a part of the excitement, it’s just that they are being thoughtful since the image you present doesn’t help make a joke worth telling.

2. You don’t connect with people who smile

You are comfortable with not smiling. It’s not as if you are not happy. You are just better off with a stern face. And you want everyone around you to carry this type of face. You simply don’t know why smiling is a way of expressing happiness, you can express your happiness without opening your teeth and curving your lips. So when you are surrounded with people who smile frequently, you just feel out of place and can’t connect with them. Certainly your best friends are persons who value this quality in you and would want to act the same way as you.

3. You don’t look great in photographs

Everyone says “cheers” at the camera except you. You are okay with making photographs look serious as if you just came out of a funeral procession. You look odd in general photographs. But you look great when you take a passport photograph, which seems to be an easy task for you to feature in.

4. You meet people who want to know if everything is alright

Things are not always looking okay. And people want to know why. Even when you smile, people consider that odd and want to know why you did smile at all. So you just smile less and are your usual self.

5. You meet people who think you are rude

You’re not rude. You’re just okay with being who you are. Yes they want you to smile back at them. Unfortunately you are always serious and stern, so why should you smile back at them simply for the sake of being nice? Yes they may consider you to be arrogant, stubborn and not friendly in nature, but this is something you have to continually deal with.

6. You can deliver the funniest jokes

It seems you have a smooth way of making others laugh when you maintain a straight face. People seem to think that your jokes are funny and laugh at them, even when you don’t see any reason to laugh or smile at such jokes.

7. You have people make jokes on you

Since you are always serious and seldom smile, people consider you to be amusing and out of the ordinary. Thus they can make jokes on you and see you as a person who should be laughed at.

8. You don’t think anything is funny, even if it is

You wonder why people can laugh over something for so long. You wonder if their muscles get sore at some point. You’re odd when you’re getting married or going to other people’s marriages. The truth and reality is that you have to continuously force a smile on your face for hours. This can be a nightmare, but it seems to be the pain you have to go through for your loved ones.

9. You are considered to be boring and grim

People come to you when they habe to deal with something serious. You make any mood grim and stiff. Only very few people can relate with this, because your smile issue is something only very few can come to terms with. But it is okay with your loved ones.

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17 Mindset Twists To Have This Year (That Can Make You Much Happier)

Happiness is a journey and getting those things you want is dependent on the mindset you have to obtaining them. A great year it should be for you, but are you willing to take a chance on improving your mindset and be happier? Here are 17 mindset twists that will certainly make you happier before the end of the year.

1. Become more productive

Focus on productivity. Think of doing more in less time and performing less action. There are productivity tools and hacks that can help you achieve this.

2. Don’t procrastinate, act!

Don’t procrastinate. Do what is necessary to make what you want happen. The best time to start is now. Instead of making excuses and complaining, act!

3. Spending too much time on social media

Social media can be a burner. Yes you want to listen to the gossips and know what is happening with your friends. But if you want to be happier learn to say no to social media. It will save you any bruise on your self-esteem and keep you interacting with the real world instead.

4. Taking yourself too seriously

Yes you will make mistakes. You cannot be perfect and don’t expect this, but always focus on what you can learn from your past errors.

5. Talk positive to yourself

Expect the best and never the worst. You should know that such will only give you the confidence you need to actualize those things you desire.

6. Learn to say no

A lot of things will catch your eye and want to take your energy. But your mindset should be focused on getting more out of less rather than less out of more. So say no to the things that are exhaustive and do not steer you towards your major goals.

7. Be consistent

There is no point in dilly-dallying. Follow any course of action to the end. Be consistent and solid.

8. Choose growth

Don’t feel weighed down by criticisms or let downs. Think of how you will grow from a setback or a failure rather than allowing it to pull you down.

9. Take charge

Be responsible for those things you can control. And your life or the direction you to take with it is your number one responsibility.

10. Prioritize

Do the things that matter. Being organized adds to your self-esteem and helps you stay productive.

11. Appreciate yourself

Learn to know your strengths and weaknesses. Know what you can take, your limitations and how far you can go.

12. Be realistic

There is nothing wrong with aiming high. Yet make sure you can achieve whatever you set out to do. Better to reach a goal than live one of mere wishes.

13. Visualize

Think of where you are going to and visualize success at it. Imagine or see yourself reaching these goals you have set out to accomplish.

14. Be tolerant

Any feedback should be listened to or taken in constructively. Do not throw away what may lead to personal improvement.

15. Seek support

Seek support from friends, family and colleagues. You cannot enjoy or be happy alone, you need constant connections to attain happiness.

16. Be result focused

Think of how to make the best out of a challenging situation. Don’t think or dwell on problems, rather dwell on solutions and how to get out of a tight corner. Navigate possibilities, strategize and apply new techniques.

17. Disengage

Disengage, take breaks, and find time to enjoy moments with your friends, family and yourself. You can only be happier when you disconnect from the drama of work and technology every now and then. This gives you time to focus and perceive what is around you. Besides you are able to offer yourself the clarity you deserve in the process.

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