Science Explains Why You Keep Getting Unfriended On Facebook

Most people get flushed for the vitriol in their post, but there’s an equally serious crime as vitriol that will also get you unfriended on Facebook in a hurry.

It’s not your oversharing of baby pictures, or the hundreds of photos of you being loved up, or even the incessant “inspirational” quotes you post that will get you unfriended on Facebook in a hurry.

It’s your political views (or at least, publicly voicing your political opinions) that will make you unpopular on the social networking site pretty quickly.

It seems voicing your opinions on politics isn’t just bad etiquette at the Christmas dinner table, it’s also very much frowned upon on Facebook. This could be the reason why you keep getting unfriended.

A New Yorker who asked to remain anonymous, for example, revealed that he purged his Facebook account after the last presidential election.

“It was a big deal to me,” he said. “I found it hard to be friends with people who didn’t vote for Obama.”

After which his friend posted, “I voted for McKinney.”

Airing your political views publicly will get you unfriended

According to researchers Nicholas John from the Hebrew University of Jerusalem and Shira Dvir-Gvirsman from Tel Aviv University, being unfriended for airing your political views publicly is not uncommon, especially when that happens in times of strife or conflict.

The researchers conducted an online survey among Jewish Israeli Facebook users between 3^rd and 7^th September 2014 (just 10 days after the Israel-Gaza conflict’s open-ended ceasefire of 26 August) to investigate the affects of political commenting. They found that while people are willing to be open-minded, those with starkly different views to our own are most likely to be blocked or deleted until at least after the conflict ends.

Social media users representing the Israeli population on Facebook were specifically asked about their political activity, ideological extremity and Facebook activity during the conflict. More than 1,100 Facebook users’ responded. The researchers found that 50% of the respondents reported being more active on Facebook during this time period and 16% of users unfriended or unfollowed a Facebook friend for political reasons during this time frame.

Interestingly, users who unfriended others were the ones more likely to be ideologically extreme and less supportive of free speech. The researchers also found that those with more Facebook friends were more likely to unfriend, indicating that having many weak ties allows for more unfriending.

“People unfriend people who have different political views to theirs,” John said in a statement explaining the findings. “More than that,” he continued, “these findings suggest that the people most likely to unfriend are younger, more politically active, more active on Facebook, have lots of Facebook friends, and have more extreme political views — these are important people in online discussions.”

Other reasons you’ll be unfriended

Two other studies led by Christopher Sibona, a doctoral student from the University of Colorado Denver corroborate the Israeli study that was published in the Journal of Communication.

The University of Colorado studies, which drew on a Twitter survey of 1,077 adults, investigated the psychology behind unfriending, as well as the emotional response of the unfriended. Study one found that acquaintances from high school are most likely to get the chop followed by friends of friends, work friends, and common interest friends.

Speaking about his study findings in a press release, Sibona said that we often wish to sever online contact with people who disagree with us about religion or politics. Since we’re most likely to diverge radically in perspective from those we knew in childhood, they get purged first, he said.

Moreover, real life shenanigans put work friends uniquely at risk and may cause you to be unfriended. “We found that people often unfriend co-workers for their actions in the real world rather than anything they post on Facebook,” said Sibona.

Study two examined the emotional fallout from being unfriended and came up with four resultant feelings: Surprised, bothered, amused and sad. A number of factors determine how unhappy or sad an Unfriended friend is likely to become in the aftermath of her demotion.

If you two once shared a close bond, she’ll probably be upset. If she monitors her Facebook friend list closely, that also enhances the likelihood she’ll suffer. A mitigating factor, however, is that if the unfriended seeks comfort from her remaining friends afterward, the study suggests she’ll feel better.

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8 Behaviors Successful Leaders Use to Motivate Staff

What makes a great leader in the workplace? Maybe you will be instinctively drawn to a leader because of their charisma, knowledge, and perseverance. But when you actually break it down, it is quite surprising to learn that great leaders are approachable, open, and great communicators. Here are 8 behaviours that we can all learn from those successful leaders.

1. Create an open and approachable environment

There are some managers and CEOs who place themselves on a pedestal and never really get to know their staff. They are living in a cloud of power and have little touch with reality in the workplace. They are obsessed with authority, prestige, and their position. They are rulers, rather than leaders.

But a real leader creates an open and approachable environment where staff are encouraged to say what they think of procedures, policies, and business objectives. There is a much better atmosphere and staff do not hesitate to approach the leader. The result is that there is a much greater sense of collaboration and a team spirit rather than a hierarchy based on fear, power, and privilege. Brian Tracy, Chairman and CEO of Brian Tracy International sums it up very neatly:

“Become the kind of leader that people would follow voluntarily; even if you had no title or position.”

2. Build confidence when the going gets tough

Leaders are expected to lead. In times of crisis, this can be the greatest test of a successful leader. They know how to mobilize the staff by staying calm and courageous. The open approach will pay handsome dividends here as staff will be fully aware of what the crisis is. They know what they will have to achieve in turning the company around and staying ahead of the game.

Steve Jobs as a business leader did not only turn Apple around after its stocks plummeted in 1996 but released new products such as the iPod and iPhone. It is an inspiring example of how a business leader was able to build confidence during a crisis.

3. Build employees’ self-esteem

Everyone craves praise when it is merited, of course! Leaders give praise and encouragement when it is due. They encourage people to let coworkers know about their achievements such as meeting a tough deadline or exceeding a sales target. Great leaders or managers know what people are striving to achieve and they will be the first to encourage and praise. Todd Mansfield who was vice president of Disney Development Company for 11 years realized that in time, as he explains here.

“When we’d sit down to evaluate associates, we’d spend 20% of our time talking about the things they did well and 80% on what needed to be improved. That is just not effective. We ought to spend and energy helping people determine what they are gifted at doing and then align their responsibilities with those capabilities.”- Todd Mansfield

4. Empower and enable workers

Great leaders work hard to encourage a culture of inclusion at every level. In practice this means that innovation and skills development are strongly encouraged. One great way to empower employees is to keep them in the loop as to what is really happening at every level of your operations. These might include strategies for every contingency, emergency procedures and on-going skills training. The great advantage here is that this sense of empowerment makes them feel that they are a vital part of the company.

Doug Conant, CEO of the Campbell Soup Company, had to rescue the company from falling sales. His recipe for success was to prioritize employee engagement which had been judged as among the worst by Fortune 500. During his ten year stint in which he managed to turn the company around, employee engagement was consistently rated as among the best.

5. Ask questions and listen

Many managers talk loftily about their company’s mission statement and ethics. They talk about staff development and training. They sometimes fail to set the example by actually doing these things such as encouraging communication by asking questions and letting staff ask them. In fact they often talk far too much and do not listen nearly enough. This is why they rarely relate to others and inspire them. John C.Maxwell, the founder of Maximum Impact and an annual speaker at Fortune 500 companies often mentions this very important aspect of leadership:

“Leaders must be close enough to relate to others, but far enough ahead to motivate them.”

6. Take risks

Sir Richard Branson, founder of the Virgin Group, was recently interviewed on leadership. He said that one of the great ways to be an effective leader is to take risks. He gave an example of how he always goes for personality rather than formal qualifications, when hiring staff. Certainly there is a risk here. He also prefers to promote within the company rather than hiring outsiders. It sends a great message to staff and shows that hard work and dedication are actually rewarded. He is the author of The Virgin Way: Everything I Know About Leadership.

7. Be humble and learn from each other

Great leaders will always be on the lookout to learn from their staff and to share wisdom and experience. The leaders who lock themselves in their offices will never be exposed to new ideas. In addition, one of the four critical leadership qualities is humility, according to a Catalyst study which asked 1,500 workers from all around the globe. Humility is learning from criticism and being able to admit you were wrong. Lazlo Bock who is Senior Vice President of People Operations at Google explains what humility means in leadership:

“It is not just humility in creating space for others to contribute, it’s intellectual humility. Without humility, you are unable to learn.”

8. Be passionate about change

Great leaders do not shirk their duty when it comes to making changes which will mean challenges but also great rewards in the long run. If you are passionate about change, you can achieve great success. Indra Nooyi, CEO PepsiCo, is absolutely committed to taking the company in a healthier direction while achieving financial success. She has managed that while implementing a five year plan to cut costs by $5 billion:

“Leadership is hard to define and good leadership even harder. But if you can get people to follow you to the ends of the earth, you are a great leader.”

Featured photo credit: Sir Richard Branson/ Jarle Naustvik via flickr.com

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8 Amazing Things Will Happen When You Start Practicing Gratitude

Do you want to be more grateful? There are lots of benefits to practicing gratitude — for starters, you will be a happier person who is more content with their life. There are lots of different ways you can be more grateful. You can keep a gratitude journal, or you can practice saying “thank you” to one person every day.

Practicing gratitude is one of the fastest ways to improve your life. Check out the following 8 amazing things that will happen when you start to practice gratitude.

1. You will sleep better

If you don’t feel grateful in your life, you may struggle to sleep at night because you feel discontent. However, you can fix this by practicing gratitude. According to a 2009 study, thinking about the things that you are grateful for will improve your quality of sleep. You will also sleep for longer and feel better rested when you wake up.

2. You will be less stressed out

Stress is one of the most common problems for adults today. Many people lay awake at night, stressing about their relationships and their career. However, stress and being ungrateful go hand in hand – a study published in Research on Aging found that older people who were grateful for their lives experienced less harmful effects from stress.

This even applied to the people who had lived in difficult circumstances, like poverty – which goes to show that your outlook is more important than anything else.

3. Your health will improve

Do your body a favor by being grateful. Practicing gratitude doesn’t just alter your mind – it even affects your body physically. Researchers have found a link between gratitude and having lower blood pressure, as well as fewer aches and pains and improved immunity. Grateful people even have healthier hearts!

4. You will have better relationships

It makes sense that the most grateful people are often the most popular. Saying “thank you” and appreciating kind gestures makes people want to form an ongoing relationship with you, according to a 2014 study published in Emotion. Saying “thank you” is often a conversation starter in itself – and let’s face it, being rude rarely makes you friends!

5. You will have more energy

Being aware of the things that you are grateful for may actually help you to achieve your dreams and goals. A 2003 study found that the participants who kept a gratitude journal reported higher levels of enthusiasm, determination, energy, and alertness. When you start being thankful, you notice every small bit of progress that you make, which helps to motivate you to keep going.

6. You will manage pain better

Gratitude helps you to maintain a positive outlook, helping you to manage your stress and stay mentally strong even during the hardest times. A study published in Behaviour Research and Therapy found that war veterans who maintained high levels of gratitude experienced lower levels of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder.

7. You will improve your leadership skills

Do you lead and manage people during your work day? If so, being grateful at work will make you a better leader; according to research from the Wharton School at the University of Pennsylvania, grateful leaders motivate their employees to be more productive. The study found that employees who had been thanked by their leader made 50% more fundraising calls than the employees who hadn’t been thanked.

8. You will feel more self-confident

Lots of studies have found a link between gratitude and higher levels of self-esteem. Some studies found that being grateful reduces social comparisons, so you are more likely to be happy in yourself instead of comparing yourself to others. Instead of feeling jealous of other successful people, focus on your own achievements and successes so that you can have a happier life.

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Science Proves Funny People Are More Intelligent

Do you consider yourself as funny? If you answered yes, that’s funny because you’re probably not funny. If you answered no, oh boy, are you funny!

Albert Einstein was also a funny man. Apparently, he was popular with the ladies. Who would have thought? He once quipped, “Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves.”

Stephen Hawking is another brilliant, intelligent scientist who is also known for his sharp sense of humor. Coincidence? Probably not! It’s more likely that funny people are just plain smarter.

Why funny people are smarter

According to researchers Gil Greengross and Geoffrey Miller, both from the University of New Mexico, and Rod A. Martin from the University of Western Ontario, humor is a sign of underlying cognitive ability and fitness. This assertion was confirmed by an interesting study the trio did involving college students.

The researchers asked a group of college students to perform a humorous task by creating made-up profiles of people based on some basic information. The students then rated how funny the other study participant’s answers were, and then all participants were asked to complete tests of general intelligence, conscientiousness, openness, extraversion, sociability and neuroticism.

The study revealed that general intelligence was a strong predictor of humor, independent of the other variables. The funny guys and girls, those with a great sense of humor, tended to have better cognitive ability and more smarts.

Here’re more reasons why science says funny people are smarter:

1. They have higher IQ

A study published in the 1970s looked at 55 male and 14 female comedians and found that they consistently scored significantly higher on IQ tests than the average population.

Whereas the average IQ score in the general population is between 90 and 110, male comedians were found to score on average 138 and female comedians scored on average 126.

Need we say more?

2. They manifest greater creativity

People like Trevor Noah, Ellen DeGeneres and Amy Schumer who are funny in many different ways, are particularly gifted at satire. And satire demands a greater degree of intelligence to not only pull off, but also to appreciate. For example, it is not without good reasons that Amy Schumer’s parody sketch 12 Angry Men Inside Amy Schumer was voted one of the funniest sketches on television for a full year.

Schumer’s parody obviously required lots of creative ingenuity to write. But, it also calls for even more smarts and open-mindedness to enjoy and fully appreciate the underlying elements within it, such as the subtle jabs at the gender disparity prevalent in Hollywood.

William E. Hauck and John W. Thomas of Bucknell University conducted a research to study three variables: Creativity, intelligence, and a sense of humor. They found that while creativity and intelligence were independent of each other, humor related to both creativity and intelligence.

3. They have impressive reasoning ability and verbal skills

In a 2011 study, researchers at the University of New Mexico asked 400 psychology students to complete measures of abstract reasoning ability and verbal intelligence before writing captions for a series of New Yorker cartoons.

It emerged that the captions that were rated funnier were produced by the students who scored higher on tests of cognitive ability. Actually, students who specifically scored high on the test of verbal intelligence were found to be most likely to produce funny captions.

A follow up study out of the same university used a group of comedians to complete a similar procedure. Results showed that comedians not only produced more and funnier caption ideas than the students had, but also scored higher on the test of verbal intelligence.

Verbal intelligence is generally linked with overall intelligence.

4. They make new friends more easily

You must have noticed at some point that people who are openly funny tend to have more friends and make new ones relatively easily.

Maybe it’s because of their verbal intelligence, but people seem drawn to the funny types. So much so that the aforementioned University of New Mexico study of college students also found that the funnier students reported having had more sexual partners than their duller peers.

Of course, if you don’t have a knack for cracking people up, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not intelligent – or that you’ll never attract a romantic partner. A good sense of humor is just one of many traits that signal above average intelligence.

Besides, if you are someone who rather appreciates humor more when others are the source of the funny instead of being the originator, that’s also a sign that you may have above-average intelligence.

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Hands Up For These 10 Tasty Martini Recipes!

With Thanksgiving officially kicking off the holiday season, this also means that the season of family gatherings, office parties, and great food is upon us. While food is an important part of the holiday celebration, every adult appreciates the taste of a well-made drink. The martini is the epitome of a great holiday drink. Whether it is made with the traditional gin, or with some James Bond flair using vodka, a martini offers the celebrant with a crisp and light beverage that is sure to start off the party.

As the end of the year quickly approaches, here are ten martini recipes that sure will make your guests raise a hand when you pass around these delicious concoctions.

1. Nuts and Berries Martini

Perfect for the holidays, this sweet martini has all of the elements to put a smile on your guests’ faces. It has fruity and creamy flavors with a kick at the end.

2. Hazelnut Mochaspresso Martini

If you are looking for the perfect martini to help your guests feel the holiday cheer, look no further than this recipe! With its rich chocolatey and nutty flavors, your guests will surely feel like celebrating.

3. Golden Delicious Martini

Not sure if you want to try a new recipe at your party, but still want to get out of the ordinary? Try this quick and easy recipe, which is essentially a spicy play on the apple martini.

4. Manhattan Martini

This simple and straight-to-the-point recipe is quick to make and  will definitely satisfy your guests who are looking for a stronger (and darker) drink.

5. Caribbean Martini

Here’s a perfect concoction if you are planning a themed party. This sweet martini combines wonderful flavors of the Caribbean, such as pineapple, while maintaining a strong martini effect with the help of some coconut rum.

6. South Beach Martini

This martini is perfect if you are trying to add a vacation flair or simply a fun and fruity flavor to your drinks. With nice citrus flavors, this martini is sure to make you feel like you have transported yourself to a tropical environment.

7. Long Kiss Goodnight Martini

Attention: lovers of white chocolate, this martini will not disappoint. With a creamy and rich finish, this martini is sweet and strong. Make sure you pace yourself – just because it’s sweet doesn’t mean it won’t quickly go to your head.

8. Bellini Martini

Fruity and light, this martini is sure to please your guests who are peach lovers. Its cold temperature is sure to help tame the alcohol level and allow for your guests to enjoy, regardless of the chilly weather.

9. Ricky Martini

Not for the light drinker, the Ricky Martini is a great mixture of fruit flavors, such as cranberries, oranges, and limes. However, don’t be fooled by the flavors, this drink contains three types of alcohol. It may not be endorsed by the dancer, but it might inspire you to get on the dance floor.

10. Mint Martini

Looking for a drink that will not only get the party started, but also keep your guests refreshed? Next time, try this mint martini. It has a smooth finish due to the creme de menthe. Your guests will definitely enjoy it no matter the weather.

Conclusion

Whichever recipe you decide to try, it will be a sure hit! With the holidays right around the corner, at least you now have a starting point with the drinks. If you are undecided on which one to try, you can easily make a combination where you can have one for each category: creamy, fruity, and darker.

One thing is for sure, all 10 of these recipes will be appreciated by your guests and will definitely get the party started.

Featured photo credit: Strawberry Martini/ daspunkt via flickr.com

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Strong Women Don’t Mean To Intimidate, They Just Let Their True Colors Shine

Are you intimidated by strong women around you? What makes you feel intimidated and why?

Most of the time, your intimidation isn’t caused by who they are as a person, it’s caused by your perception towards yourself. You are afraid that you appear weak in front of these strong women, so you feel intimidated by them. However, if you take a closer look at their personality, you will realize that this intimidating image of strong women you hold is just an illusion from a lack of understanding.

Here are six traits about strong women to help you understand them better.

1. They are confident.

Their self confidence can be deemed as aggressive, arrogant, and ambitious, especially at work by their colleagues; however, you need to know that they have overcome several challenges in their life to build up their confidence. Nobody is born confident. Everyone has fears and doubts. Strong women just don’t let their fears and doubts hold them back. They’d rather challenge themselves and grow.

It’s not that strong women are arrogant or want to be in the center of attraction, it’s their confidence that naturally attracts attention to them. People come to these strong women for help because they trust their capability. Instead of being intimidated by their confidence, you should learn from them and have more confidence in yourself.

2. They are independent.

Strong women build their own career and are good at making money. They don’t need men to provide for them. Even though they are not looking for someone to take care of them, it doesn’t mean that they don’t need love.

You might feel threatened by women who are capable of doing everything by themselves because it feels like they don’t need your relationship and that hurts your ego. Strong women need support too. Sometimes they just want to do things on their own first. If they need support from you (which they will), they will ask for it. Support them in areas which they are weaker and remember that their independence is positive.

3. They are secure.

In a relationship, making them jealous doesn’t work. They are secure with themselves and they know what they are worth. They don’t buy the mind-games you play. Once they are committed to you, they are committed to you. They don’t spend time on worrying about the relationship. If you are going to disrespect her or try to make her feel insecure, she won’t hesitate to leave you.

You feel intimidated by a strong woman’s sense of self-worth because you are insecure about yourself. Instead of wasting time playing mind-games with them, work on your own self-worth. Be open with your insecurities, and they will respect you for that.

4. They are smart.

Strong women love interesting and intellectual conversation. You can forget about small-talk. Talk about things that matter. Rather than talking about what to have for lunch, the latest TV program, or sport, ask them about their opinions on world issues. They have their own way of thinking and they would love to share them with you.

At work, they don’t gossip, so they are easy targets for gossipers. People are intimidated by strong women because they find them too distant and opinionated. You can’t blame them. It’s not that they don’t want to connect with their colleagues, it’s because they aren’t good at making small-talk. Plus, they don’t really care about trends. They aren’t easily swayed by media and other people’s opinions either.

5. They have purpose.

Strong women are bold. They embrace change and are not afraid to take risks or fail. They know what they want in life, with clear goals and purpose. This quality makes them very interesting and attractive, but at the same time, their ambition might seem intimidating.

Don’t expect them to be the housewives and follow your every command. They won’t give up their dreams just to fit yours, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t supportive. They still want you to do well. They still care about their family. It’s just that they need to challenge themselves. They want to reach their potential. They take action towards their goals. Consider giving them some space to pursue their goals and encourage them instead.

6. They are authentic.

Strong women are straightforward people. They never suppress their feelings and they don’t take things personally. They also expect you to be honest and straightforward with them too.

However, because they are so straightforward, you might feel that they are being rude and unconcerned with other people’s feelings. They actually do care about people, but they care more about solving the problem that people have than their feelings. They look for solutions. You’re better off just telling them what you think. Don’t sugarcoat or soften your opinions so that they can help you. Let their true colors shine.

Featured photo credit: Untitled / lauren rushing via flickr.com

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