Basili, D.

O amor que se acende e se apaga descontinuamente logo se queima

via @notiun

Perelman, Sidney

O amor não é o lamento moribundo de um violino longínquo - é o rangido triunfante das molas da cama

via @notiun

Borges, Jorge

Parece-me fácil viver sem ódio, coisa que nunca senti. Mas viver sem amor acho impossível

via @notiun

Séneca

A felicidade que não se modera, por si própria se destrói

@notiun

Mansfield, Katherine

Tema: Arte
Se nos é impossível permanecermos puros, não tentemos ser artistas

via @notiun

Gracián y Morales, Baltasar

Tema: Livro
Alguns apreciam os livros pelo volume, como se fossem escritos mais para exercício dos braços que do espírito

via @notiun

Andrade, Carlos Drummond de

Há duas épocas na vida, infância e velhice, em que a felicidade está numa caixa de bombons

@notiun

Turgot, Anne

Tema: Despotismo
O despotismo perpetua a ignorância e a ignorância perpetua o despotismo

via @notiun

How Successful People Deal With Manipulators

Some people are born manipulators, and not in a good way. A psychological manipulator deliberately creates an inequality of power, exploiting a victim or circumstance to serve their agenda. This can be beneficial, of course, and many successful business men and women are master manipulators. The problem is that a psychological manipulator isn’t necessarily going to have the best interests of the business at heart.

According to Psychology Today, most manipulative people have four common characteristics:

• They know how to detect weaknesses
• Once those weaknesses are found, they use them against you or your business
• Through shrewd machinations, they convince you to give up something of yourself in order to serve their self-centered interests
• In work, social, and family situations, once a manipulator succeeds at taking advantage of you, that person will continue repeating the violation until they are stopped.

How do successful people deal with manipulators? They do so through wisdom and their own strength of character.

Below are several character traits and actions that successful people commonly use to deal with psychological manipulators.

1. They always trust people until those people are no longer honest

According to Jorge Diaz, founder of Lead Layer, honesty is one of the best compasses to use to successfully deal with manipulative people. It’s a filter that weeds out the people who will give you problems, like a business partner who just wants to work with you in order to take advantage of your connections for their own gain.

Steve Jobs, former CEO of NeXT and Apple and one of the most successful people in history, had a habit of being brutally honest. He told his biographer, “I don’t think I run roughshod over people, but if something sucks, I tell people to their face. It’s my job to be honest.”

2. They remember that manipulative people are good communicators

A manipulative person won’t do what they say, but they will convince you with their interpersonal skills that they possess more value than they actually do. Unfortunately, once you’re ready to pull the trigger and take action, the manipulative person won’t act or will give you excuses so he or she can take advantage of the situation.

This reflects back to dealing with people honestly and expecting the same. Once the manipulator shows his or her true colors, it’s time to cut the cord and end the business relationship with that person. The successful person realizes this, and acts swiftly to remove the manipulator from any position of influence he or she might be in.

3. They evaluate the past actions of people

Looking at business that people have conducted in the past, digging deep to have a feel for what a person has built over the years, will show you what kind of person the manipulator really is. Do those past actions show a healthy response to fear, or an overwhelming defeat by it? The manipulator, often, is defeated by fear.

Carly Fiorina, former CEO of Hewlett Packard, pointed out that “The difference between people who succeed and people who fail, I think in many cases it’s not fear. Everyone experiences fear. The difference is what do you do with your fear. Do you work to overcome it or do you let it defeat you? And I think that is actually what distinguishes very successful people from others.”

4. They follow their intuition

Whether in the business world or in personal life, it isn’t often that we hear our inside voice. Successful people are in tune with what both their minds and their bodies tell them, using the feedback on the outside world to determine whether something truly is as it seems.

Bill Gates once said, “Often, you have to rely on intuition.” Steve Jobs agreed with this, encouraging others to “Have courage to follow your heart and intuition.” If that’s not enough, Oprah Winfrey insists that people should follow their instincts because “That’s where true wisdom manifests itself.”

5. They don’t play the fool

Gary Rawding, Chairman and CEO of myServiceForce, points out that successful people do not typically play the fool. Rather, they tend to be direct and challenging, knowing that manipulation won’t hold up well to the bright light of deeper inspection.

They take risks, to be sure, but they don’t do so foolishly. Instead, they closely evaluate every person they are dealing with and every situation they are embroiled in, determining how the puzzle pieces fit together and which pieces are from the wrong box.

6. They expect excellence

The manipulative person will find it difficult, if not impossible, to maintain an atmosphere of excellence. Their excuses and backpedaling won’t stand up to the light of excellence, so demand nothing short of that in the workplace. Like honesty, the expectation of excellence will act as a filter to weed out those who just want to manipulate the environment to best suit them.

Steve Jobs once advised leaders to “Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.” By demonstrating excellence, the successful person sets the stage for a manipulator to be found out and dismissed out of hand.

Featured photo credit: Gratisography via gratisography.com

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You’ll Go Through These 6 Stages In A Long-Term Relationship

All relationships begin differently. Every couple has their own story. Maybe you were friends for years before you started dating. Or maybe the two of you connected by swiping right on the infamous dating, Tinder. Successful relationships can stem from a number of different instances and they all follow their own particular path. Still, there is a common pattern of stages that almost all long-term relationships follow.

These stages are categorized by the things you’ll say while you’re in them.

Many of them are positive, filled with infatuation and enthusiasm. These stages usually occur at the beginning of a relationship, when you just can’t get enough of each other. The later stages require the most time and attention, whether it’s with your partner or with other people in your life that your relationship has caused you to neglect.

It’s important to acknowledge which stage you’re in (especially during the tougher ones) and to understand that they are all normal.

1.The “I Told My Friends About You” Stage

As soon as you tell your friends about the girl you’ve been seeing (or hooking up with), and then go back and tell that girl that you told your friends about her, that’s when you know things are getting serious.

This is also known as the infatuation stage, in which you find yourself bringing them up during random conversations. You find yourself wanting to see them on your lunch breaks or at ridiculous hours of the night. This is also the stage when your friends might complain about how you’re spending your time. People in your life will start to miss you, but will hopefully be supportive of your newfound happiness, and wish to be involved.

2.The “I Want You to Meet My Parents” Stage.

Meeting the family is usually a big deal in a relationship. It’s a subconscious way of welcoming that person into our lives and making sure they fit. This stage comes along with a sense of comfort. You’re comfortable enough to introduce them, and know that they will be comfortable enough to be introduced (without feeling freaked out or pressured), to the people who matter to you most.

It also means that you want to seek validation that you’re with the right person. You’re interested in gaining the approval of the people whose opinion you value.  While this stage is often a joyful experience, it can also spark a lot of anxiety for all parties involved. If you’re experiencing stress, it just means that you want it to go well.

If you’re lucky, and have found the right person, your family and friends will approve and be both loving and supportive.

3. The “I Love You” Stage.

It’s difficult to put a timeframe on this stage since we all experience love differently. It takes some people a lot of time to get there, while others throw the word around carelessly. My suggestion for this stage is to draw it out as long as possible. Don’t drop the “L” bomb the first time you feel it. Waiting to say, “I love you” will only make it mean more when you finally do.

4.The “It Bothers Me When You…” Stage.

For me personally, this stage has always occurred about nine months into the relationship. At this point, you’ve had enough time together to see that, as much as you hoped, your partner isn’t perfect. (Nobody is…not even including you…) It might be the first time they’ve displayed jealous or a lack of patience, or they’ve said something you don’t agree with.

If you find yourself in this predicament, it is absolutely critical that you address it. Right now! Before you go and vent to all your friends about it and self-sabotage the entire relationship. Most concerns, at this point in the game, are minor and only become larger if you ignore them.

Communication is crucial. You have to realize that, although you work well together, you are still different people. And that’s OK. Can you accept or learn to appreciate these imperfections? If the answer is yes, you should be able to navigate smoothly in and out of this stage into the next one in your relationship.

5. The “What Do You Want?” Stage.

This stage occurs after a year, or multiple years of being together. It’s when you find out if your goals match up. It’s when you start considering moving in together. It’s when you start discussing a future together and deciding if your desires in life coincide.

This the most pivotal stage of a long-term relationship. It will make or break you. Communication and absolute honesty is key when you are addressing the future. This is not the time to sugarcoat or lie about anything. If you do, you’ll likely find yourself unsatisfied in the future.

6.The “I Want That Too” Stage, also known as the “I Still Love You” Stage.

This is the most fulfilling stage of all. If you have reached it, take a moment to give yourself a pat on the back. You deserve it.

Long-term relationships are not easy. Just look at the increase of divorces every year. We are all different, and we live in a time of social media and online dating. Many relationships are destined to fail from the get-go, but long-term relationships are not impossible. Figure out what it is you want out of life, and then find someone who wants the same thing.

Once you’ve found them, learn their imperfections, and if you still love them at the end of the day, don’t let go.

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The Most Endangered Species In The US

In late September, Russell McLendon of Mother Nature Network posted an incredible infographic highlighting the dire situation of many endangered species of wildlife within the United States alone. The grim and depressing viral image also appears to indicate in this is the state of much of our wildlife in the USA, the picture is likely very bleak for other animals in the rest of the world. Not only that, but plants are endangered as well. The author uses facts and numerical data to support his claims and show the gravity of the situation.

Dubbed as a time period known as  the world’s Sixth Mass Extinction, McLendon makes it clear that this phenomenon is not normal, that we as human beings have the power to do something about this, and that there is plenty of space to ensure we peacefully coexist with other animals. The USA alone ranks 2nd worldwide in endangered species by country. The first country listed is Ecuador.

Here is the Infographic:

To read the full article, click here. While the infographic does address the issue, there are certain things we can do to make the situation better for animals and plants. Please look into the Endangered Species Coalition, as they are invaluable resource on this matter. They have a wonderful article available to you by clicking here, which lists 10 easy things you can do today to help save endangered species. Please join us in the fight. Animals and plants don’t have a voice, so we need to use ours to help our companions and our environment thrive.

Featured photo credit: Russell McLendon/MNN via mnn.com

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Pictures To Help You Visualize What Depression Is Really Like

1. Depression can make you feel left out, of your family or school. Feeling like you’re alone even when in a crowded room can be depressing.

2.Your worries can get so overwhelming. They pile up until you’re downing in them.

3. A distorted self image can accompany your sadness, you don’t see the person you truly are.

4. Depression can be suffocating, sapping you of the joy life once brought.

Depression can sometimes be too much for one person to handle on their own. Before your worries become too much for you to handle, you should consult a doctor. Sometimes people need therapy, or medication. Depression is the most common mental illness. Millions go through the same thing every year. It’s never too late to seek help. You’re not alone.

5. What once made you happy has taken on a more sinister appearance to you.

Everything seems to get you down. You have to pretend life is something you enjoy. When people ask if you’re okay, you say you are, but deep down inside you feel like you could die.

6. Your despair can sometimes be too much. Eventually you become too tired to function. You just want to sleep.

These images are just representation of a disorder that can claim lives. They can be found here in full.

Featured photo credit: Edward Honaker via huffingtonpost.com

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10 Things About Being An Ambivert That Might Confuse Others

Do you think you are an ambivert? Instead of being extroverted or introverted, ambiverts fall right in the middle. For instance an ambivert may be drawn to people and could love going to gatherings, but they might dislike parties filled with strangers.

Check out 10 things about being an ambivert that might confuse others.

1. We can be quiet but we are not shy

When ambiverts are hanging out with other people they are happy for the others to talk the lead in the conversation. It isn’t because we are shy – we enjoy listening to others talk so we can learn more about them and their interests.

2. We are totally different when we are around strangers compared to when we are with friends

An ambivert is quiet, friendly and polite around new people, whereas they are much louder around their friends. It isn’t that we feel shy or awkward around strangers; sometimes we love to meet new people, we just don’t want to come across as self-involved or too loud.

3. We balance out our friends

When an ambivert is hanging out with someone quiet they are fine to do most of the talking. On the flip side, if we are spending time with someone who is talkative we are happy to let them lead the conversation.

4. We are more vocal during one-on-one conversations

Ambiverts normally prefer to hang out one-on-one because the conversations are more focused and intimate. We actually get the opportunity to bond and discuss things that really interest us, and we know that the other person is definitely interested and listening to what we are saying.

5. We hate small talk

An ambivert rarely does well with small talk. We try hard to make small talk and chit-chat when it is necessary, but we would much rather get to know you properly. We often feel like small talk is insincere – who really wants to talk about the weather?

6. We love to talk about things that interest us

We are very happy to talk about anything that really interests us – we can talk for hours and hours about the things that we love. However, we won’t bring anything up if it isn’t relevant to the conversation because we don’t want to bring up something that others might find boring.

7. We sometimes look forward to cutting ourselves off from the rest of the world

Sometimes all an ambivert wants is to shut the door and cut themselves off from the rest of the world. We love to spend evenings cooking and watching TV alone, and we think that a weekend spent in bed is a weekend well spent.

8. We like to be alone, but we can get lonely

Ambiverts enjoy being alone for a while but we still rely on other humans for happiness and connections. After a few blissful days inside we start to feel lonely and we want to go out and have fun with our friends. Even if it is just meeting up with a friend for a quick coffee, we want to physically see and interact with our loved ones so that we can feel back in the loop.

9. We can relate to being introverted and extroverted

An ambivert will be called introverted and extroverted by different people at different times. Our friends often disagree on if we are loud or quiet because we act totally differently depending on our mood.

10. We become more introverted in large crowds

An ambivert is likely to become quieter and more withdrawn if they are part of a large crowd. We are not extroverted enough to want to be centre of attention, so we tend to feel nervous which makes us stop talking completely.

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No One Told You the Book List for Improving Leadership Skills? I Will

Becoming a better leader takes effort, making mistakes, reflection and study. When you lead, you are expected to take chances and take risks. If you are driven by a need for security, you may not have what it takes to become a leader.

To help you understand your leadership strengths and provide practical ideas to lead better, start with reading these books. This combination of personal development, biography and business books provide several perspectives on leadership skills. If you are a regular reader like me, you may find yourself reading the same category of books over and over again (e.g., only business books) and neglecting other genres. Take this opportunity to read widely — there is more than one way to lead successfully.

1. Churchill: A Life by Sir Martin Gilbert

Winston Churchill remains one of the most inspiring and accomplished leaders in history. What leadership skills can you learn from studying Churchill? You can learn the value of personal focus — how Churchill overcame rejection when he started his military career. You can also learn how Churchill developed his public speaking skills. Though Churchill is widely known and respected for his speeches today, those leadership skills did not develop overnight.

2. The 5 Levels of Leadership: Proven Steps to Maximize Your Potential by John C. Maxwell

As one of the most popular and respected leadership authors in America, there is much we can learn from John C. Maxwell’s books and example. Consider his own leadership career as a starting point. He started his career in the church, began a non-profit organization and today leads a successful leadership development company. The ability to achieve success in several industries shows that Maxwell’s leadership ideas have been tested in the field.

3. Washington: A Life by Ron Chernow

America’s first President is widely respected for several important leadership accomplishments. He led soldiers into battle and through years of physical hardship during the War of Independence. He later served as America’s first President, a rare figure who had the ability to unite a young country. But how did he achieve all these leadership feats? Chernow’s outstanding biography takes us behind the scenes with outstanding research that features quotes from Washington’s letters and other sources. To start your Washington education today, read Career Hacks From Young George Washington.

4. Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard

Leaders are rarely interested in the status quo. As a leader, you will be asked to create change. There are all changes of change projects you may lead — launching a new product, improving customer service or improving productivity. In this highly readable book (I read it on the beach and was glued to it!), Dan and Chip Heath explain how change really works. A key insight — change efforts require an understanding of logic, habits and psychology. If you miss one of those aspects, your leadership will fail. The book makes use of stories and studies to teach great points on how to make change happen.

5. The Truth about Leadership: The No-fads, Heart-of-the-Matter Facts You Need to Know by James M. Kouzes and Barry Z. Posner

Your personal qualities and character are key factors in determining your success as a leader. The authors present a compelling case on what makes leaders successful based on decades of research. The first important insight is that honesty and integrity are the foundation for your success as a leader. Without those qualities, few people will be inclined to trust you. The second great insight I learned from this book is the importance of the leader going first and taking risks. For example, if your company is about to adopt a new computer system, you can signal your leadership by being the first to go through the training and then supporting the rest of the team. Thanks to leadership expert Richard Rierson for recommending this book to me.

6. Five Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni

Lencioni has a highly readable style in the world of business books. He tells a compelling fictional story and then has his characters work out his principles over time. In this book, you will learn Lencioni’s perspective on team work. A major lesson from this book: Simply hiring a group of high performance people is not enough to create a team. Relationships within the team matter more. Without that trust and connection, the team will never perform at a top level.

7. The Effective Executive: The Definitive Guide to Getting the Right Things Done by Peter Drucker

Drucker’s classic book has stood the test of time in the business world. Leaders will benefit from reading this book in two ways. First, Drucker provides timeless productivity principles to help leaders manage their priorities. Second, the book has incredible lessons on making decisions and following through on those decisions.

On occasion, some of the language and examples may feel dated. Don’t let that stop you from growing your leadership skills with this classic book. If you enjoy Drucker’s perspective, consider reading “A Year with Peter Drucker,” which provides a detailed discussion of his ideas.

8. Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success by Adam M. Grant

Adam Grant has reshaped the leadership conversation with his New York Times bestseller, “Give and Take”. Leaders who give AND take achieve more success — that’s the ultimate lesson from the book. The book is also filled with motivation and productivity studies that will benefit leaders. A great example is the call centre study that Grant conducted. The study focused on a university call center where callers sought donations to the college. The productivity and average donation received significantly increased when the callers had a short presentation from a student who had benefited from the fundraising.

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