8 Mistakes That Amazingly Confident People Never Make

What is self-confidence? Is it an over-inflated sense of self, the ability to smooth-talk, and the arrogance that you’re always right? Is it self-esteem from the opinions of others?

Or is it the ability to handle any situation–including failure–because of a positive mindset, keen self-awareness, and willingness to ask for help?

Genuinely confident people develop confidence naturally through practiced effort and self-discipline, with the knowledge that adversity is inevitable, and with a single-minded focus to help others.

I used to be very socially awkward. Then I started to work on my public speaking skills, through speaking organizations, training, books, practice, and speech contests. Eventually, others asked me for help. Through this process of hard work and mentoring others to be successful, I became much more confident.

You can’t create confidence out of thin air. It’s the process of authentic self-improvement and helping others that leads to confidence.

With that in mind, here are 8 mistakes that truly, amazingly confident people never make.

1. They don’t care what others think

Truly confident people frankly don’t give credence to the judgment of others. That’s not to say they don’t listen to advice or feedback. On the contrary. Confident people seek out legitimate, constructive feedback.

But confident people derive their pride, satisfaction, and happiness from within. They’re confident in the stoic, inner pride sort of way, not the “look how great I am” glory-hounding external-validation sort of way.

Part of this discipline comes from an ability to destroy negative thoughts (limiting beliefs) that are often centered on what we think others feel about us. Confident people don’t compare themselves to others.

You are who you are at this moment, and if you’re taking action and doing your best to provide value to the world, it doesn’t matter how you measure up to everyone else.

Confident people give the same leeway to others, avoiding judgment in favor of recognizing that everyone has expertise to bring to the table.

2. They don’t think they’re always right

A big ego leads to false confidence. It’s a house of cards waiting to collapse at the first sign of adversity. False confidence leads to taking vastly miscalculated risks that ultimately lead to catastrophe affecting everyone around you.

Genuine confidence comes from the process of learning, which naturally assumes you don’t know everything.

Wilbur and Orville Wright, the pioneers of flight, were extremely curious. They also lacked a college education. This gave them the confidence to reject the “expertise” of the time by questioning and testing everything. At every turn, the Wright brothers knew they didn’t have an answer, so they constantly engaged in discussions and experiments to learn.

The Wrights were only “right” about knowing that they didn’t know everything.

Truly confident people put the truth first, which sometimes means being proved wrong. And that’s a good thing.

3. They don’t talk more than they listen

Confident people don’t have a chip on their shoulder. There’s no need to prove yourself, because the most important part about interacting with others is the process itself.

Every interaction is an opportunity to learn. The best way to learn is to listen!

Truly confident people cultivate the skill of active listening, and they listen much more than they talk. When you’re always talking, you’re always pushing. The irony is that people will want to hear what you have to say if you’re seen as helpful.

Coach Michael Burt calls this being a Person of Interest:

It’s about having something so valuable that makes other people want a piece of you and it. It is about being perceived as the expert by what you project to the world…People want to buy you a cup of coffee, pick your brain, spend 30 minutes with you on a webinar, and hear what you have to say.

In other words, confident people–rather than talking and selling–instead offer something so compelling that others are willing to come to them. They listen, learn, and form deep, meaningful connections.

This gives them knowledge, genuine likability, and authentic confidence.

4. They don’t go it alone

Genuinely confident people don’t succumb to the “Superhero” fallacy–that success only comes from going it alone.

Instead, they are keenly self-aware of their own flaws and specifically seek out experts to address these known shortcomings.

Confident people ask for help. This shows respect for the other person, authentic humility, and wisdom.

There are lots of ways to get help from others. Let’s say you want to mentor others but get nervous speaking. You could join a group like Toastmasters to learn from other speaking experts. Want to start a business? Join a mastermind of small business owners or attend local Chamber of Commerce events. Seek a mentor. Hire a coach.

The key is to surround yourself with supportive people who are also experts in areas that you’re deficient in. Chances are you will be able to reciprocate with expertise of your own.

Not only do confident people lean on others all the time, they accelerate this process by absorbing knowledge at a rapid pace through books, podcasts, videos, courses, and tons of other sources.

In fact, reading at least 1 hour per day can put you in the top 1% of experts and income-earners.

Don’t be afraid to ask, “can you help me?”

5. They don’t take things too personally

It’s easy to take offense when someone criticizes you. But if confident people don’t care what others think, and admit when they’re wrong, it makes sense that they also recognize that the process is more important than allowing others’ judgment to amplify personal negative feelings and self-doubt.

Confident people have feelings of course, but they deal stoically with adversity as a problem to be solved, not a personal indictment.

You won’t always succeed, but if you’re confident in yourself despite what others say or do, you can at least cope with any situation.

This mental strength comes from an inner sense of accomplishment, faith in your own abilities, sense of humor, sense of curiosity, and positive approach to people and situations.

Have fun with the process!

6. They don’t expect certainty

Put another way, confident people embrace uncertainty, knowing that although you can’t predict the future, you can be prepared knowing that obstacles are inevitable.

Truly confident people expect failure and adversity, but they are ceaselessly optimistic about the future. No matter how bad things are, always look for one positive to use as a compelling source of inspiration.

Helen Keller once said, “optimism is the faith that leads to achievement. Nothing can be done without hope and confidence.”

In The Obstacle Is the Way, Ryan Holiday writes that “obstacles are actually opportunities to test ourselves, to try new things, and, ultimately, to triumph.”

Expect uncertainty. Embrace the inevitable failures. Learn from them!

7. They don’t make others look bad

Truly confident people work extremely hard on making others successful. The more you help others, the more they will look to you for guidance and expertise, and the more successful and confident you will become.

It’s a positive self-reinforcing cycle that contrasts sharply with the short-term approach of Machiavellian scheming that falsely confident people use to take advantage of others.

Think about the typical workplace. When you make your boss and team members look good, everyone benefits. And this leads to new opportunities, people that trust you as a team member, and ultimately greater confidence. The most inspiring leaders are those who give credit to the team for all of the hard work.

Ask yourself the same question Benjamin Franklin did every morning: “What good shall I do this day?” Confident people focus on how to make others look good, which naturally and authentically increases their own value and inner self-worth.

8. They don’t seek the approval of just anyone

Earlier, we talked about how amazingly confident people don’t care what others think. But that’s not the whole story.

Confident people do care about what the closest, most supportive people in their lives have to say. It is this handful of truly important people in your life whose trust and support mean so much that you actively seek their feedback.

This goes back to the idea of asking for help and not going it alone.

If you cultivate only supportive people in your life, eliminating the nay-sayers, you know that these people always have your back.

Whereas attention-mongers seek the approval of thousands of Twitter followers and Facebook friends, truly confident people focus on quality over quantity. They know what matters.

Think about the people you hang out with on a daily basis. Do they have your back? Can you share your dreams and ideas with them without getting shot down? If not, think about working on only the best relationships if you want to be truly confident.

If you were inspired, share this article!

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This Is Why Everyone Is Going For E-commerce Business

In the past, if you wanted to start a dot-com company, investors would shy away from you. They assumed you would fail. In the early days of the Internet, many dot-com companies did just that. They spiked with great sales in the beginning then promptly nose-dived and are no longer in business. Today, however, the exact opposite is happening. If you aren’t online, you are doomed to fail. The companies that are based solely online are taking the world by storm and are successful. E-commerce is a subset of this trend, but it is becoming more and more common every day. Here are some reasons why small business owners embrace e-commerce.

Your Store Will Go Everywhere

If you have a brick-and-mortar shop, you have a limited number of people who can come through your store. Even if you are open 24 hours, you can’t reach as many people as you can with an E-commerce site. Also, you have global customers, but with a physical store, you only have access to customers in the local area.

Your Shoppers Will Enjoy Convenience 

If you are sales expert you know that customers want to be able to buy whatever they want with a click of the button. With an online store they don’t have to worry about whether the store is open. They don’t have to worry if they are wearing clothes or their pajamas. They can have their purchases sent directly to their doorstep.

Your Overhead is Low

When you own a store, you have to pay employees, electric, water, rent and insurance. You don’t have any of those expenses with an E-commerce site. You have to pay for the site, logistics and possibly warehouse employees. You might also have to pay for the company that ships your goods, but these costs are considerably less than if you had a store.

Your Products Can Sell Cheaper

You can afford to lower your price, which attracts more customers. You still will make a huge profit, but the margins are lower. You would make up in volume what you lose in store sales. And, in stores, you have to mark up your prices so high because of overhead and other factors, such as theft. You don’t have to worry about theft with an E-commerce site. Online sales allow you to be creative with your specials and discounts too.

You Can Benefit From Affiliate Marketing

What if you had an E-commerce site and were asked to put some of your products on someone else’s site as well? You would rake in tremendous sales. Even with the small commission you would pay the other person, you would get twice the number of customers. And, you can offer to pick up other people’s products for your site with a small fee. You will help the other company which will help you. Everyone wins.

Your Store Is Like A Supermarket

If you shop in a supermarket, you can buy almost everything. At stores like Target you can get everything. This means people can take their time, browse the shelves and pick what they need without ever having to go to another store. The same is true in E-commerce, but the selling space isn’t limited by the physical space of a store. You can find whatever you need on an e-commerce shopping site from clothes to automotive products. Your customers will spend more time shopping on your site, which equates to more sales.

You’ll Benefit From The Big Mobile Buying Trend

In the latest trend in E-commerce, business owners are focusing on mobile marketing because smart phones are driving sales in retail. People are using their phones to shop, tell friends about their finds and looking up reviews on products or services. This trend is assisting the growth of E-commerce’s popularity. People would rather hit a button on their phones to buy something than to drive to the store. Businesses are eating up the profits and making their sites better.

Your Shoppers Can Buy Online, Return To Store

If you take notice of customers behavior nowadays, many people enjoy having the option of buying a product online and picking it up in a store/ returning it to a store. This is all about convenience. People don’t have to wait two weeks to receive their products. And, if they don’t like it, they don’t have to worry about the merchandise return requirements.

Your Shoppers Will Find the Unique Products They Want

If you want to buy something specific, such as an antique dinner plate, you will have more options online than at a local mall. You might not even be able find what you are looking for at a physical antique store.

You’ll Be Able To Offer Discounts and Deals 

If you own a store, you can offer a sale to draw customers to your place of business, but every other store is doing the same thing. Today, shoppers check online for discounts and deals. They search for the store with the best sale and go there.

However, remember that when you are building your E-commerce site, you want to work with companies who understand the industry as you definitely don’t want a website that will crash.

Featured photo credit: local needs in a global e-commerce rollout via diginomica.com

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6 Qualities All Highly Successful People Have In Common

There are those successful people out there who have it made. They catch break after break and seem to just have all the four leaf clovers of the world in their pockets. But we know that it’s more than just luck on their side. We’ve found six consistent traits of phenomenally successful people and know that if you strive to match yourself to these that you too can become successful.

1. They Are Passionate

This might be a no-brainer trait but it might also be the foundation to a successful individual. Those who succeed love deeply what they do. Take a look at almost any athlete out there, they are passionate about what they do and almost always do it for the love of the gam. People like Tiger Woods knew at a young age what they loved and then made a life out of it. If you don’t know if you’re truly passionate about something just ask yourself if you would do it for free. If you would, then you’ve found your passion.

2. They Are Resilient

To be resilient is to face challenges, learn from them, and push through to success. Some of the most successful people in the world have faced the uncanniest struggles and have managed to come out on top. J.K. Rowling was rejected by 12 different publishers before selling the first Harry Potter novel. Successful people recognize each failure in life as a chance to learn something and to grow from it.

3. They Push Themselves Out of Their Comfort Zones

Phenomenally successful people know that they can’t just sit on their hands and hope that the ideas in their heads will some day become a real thing. They have to get up out of their house and begin to get their ideas out there. It’s a matter of getting out of your comfort zone, setting challenges, deadlines, and goals all to push yourself to continue to strive harder, work better, and succeed.

4. They Continually Create

Entrepreneurs like Time Ferris and Evan Williams are successful because they are continually creating. Rather than finish a project and end their careers there, successful people continue to study and create and form new ideas. Evan Williams didn’t just finish when he founded one company. If he had, we wouldn’t have Twitter, Blogger, or Medium. The daily routines of CEOs will show you how dedicated entrepreneurs and successful people are and how even CEOs continue to create and work hard to succeed until the end.

5. They Are Focused

A huge trait for successful people is focus. Not just that they can sit in a room and get the work done, but that they have a specific goal in mind. Successful people can narrow down and focus on the one thing that they know is important. Just look at someone like Walt Disney. His focus was on quality and innovation. For him it wasn’t about making money, it was about lifting the hearts of children and not with chintzy products. Disney even said that “quality will out.” He focused on quality and what did that result in? A phenomenal empire that spans the globe with him being a household name throughout the world.

6. They Continue to Learn and Better Themselves

Current president of Pixar Animation Studios and Walt Disney Animation Studios, Ed Catmull wrote in his book Creativity, Inc. that the best thing to do “when faced with a challenge [is to] get smarter.” Successful people don’t assume that they know everything or that they are the smartest people out there. They continue to learn and better themselves and their craft. Some of the most successful people pick up new hobbies consistently throughout their lives and careers to keep their brains active and to help with creativity.

Featured photo credit: Photo/Eli DeFaria via unsplash.com

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10 Phrases Women Should Stop Saying to Each Other

Equality for women has come on in leaps and bounds over the last 100 years, with society changing and accepting women as the equals that they are. However, there are are still restrictions placed on women by both society and, surprisingly enough, other women. Some phrases that are ingrained into our society as compliments and questions are actually negative and add to the pressures on women.

Women should bring each other up, not pull each other down. Check out 10 phrases women should stop saying to each other below.

1. “Forget her — you’re prettier than she is anyway.”

Most women say this with the best intentions. Maybe their friend has just gone through a break-up, or maybe they experienced infidelity. They want to cheer up their friend and put a smile on their face, but they are associating value purely with beauty. This implies that women are in competition with each other, and that beauty is a mark of success for women — but this simply isn’t true.

2. “Have you lost weight? You look great!”

When women say this they are aiming to compliment each other. But unless the other woman is trying to lose weight, compliments shouldn’t be linked to body weight. This can cause women to think their self-worth grows when they lose weight.

3. “You’re so skinny — eat a burger!”

This is also meant as a compliment, but for some women this targets something they are actually very self-concious about. Many women struggle to gain weight, and being told they should alter their weight can be very damaging and upsetting.

4. “Guys prefer this body type.”

No one needs to have their weight justified by anyone, and implying men set the standards of female beauty has damaging effects. The only priority is that you are healthy and happy in your own skin.

5. “When are you getting married?”

Equality for women has vastly improved over recent years, but some societal pressures still remain for some women. Women may ask this question only for the sake of conversation, but marriage is optional and many women are not personally interested in getting married. This can make the woman feel like she needs to justify her decisions.

6. “When do you want to have a baby?”

Like the phrase above, this phrase also assumes women are going to make certain decisions. If you already know they are planning on having a baby, this question is obviously totally fine. However, having a baby is a huge decision and some women are choose not to have children. This is a personal choice that doesn’t require justification.

7. “All women are crazy.”

Most blanket statements are inaccurate and this one is no exception. Women rarely mean this seriously when they say it, but it creates an overall image that women find each other irrational and crazy — which is a negative, inaccurate viewpoint.

8. “Why are you single?”

Whether you are a man or a woman, no one’s self worth is determined by having a partner. There are many excellent reasons to stay single and many excellent reasons to be in a relationship, and no one needs to explain their choice.

9. “Be careful, you might get a reputation.”

A women’s sex life shouldn’t determine her importance. Implying that sleeping with lots of people will decrease someone’s worth is a damaging sentiment that causes other women to openly and freely judge each other for their personal decisions.

10. “Do I look fat in this?”

Every human is equally important, and weight isn’t a deciding factor in your importance. This phrase implies self-worth is linked to being slim; it is important to be healthy, but it isn’t important to be thin.

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6 Things Will Happen When You Have a Workout Buddy

Working out with a buddy, or in a group setting, has many benefits. While there are times I enjoy quickly lacing up my running shoes and hitting the pavement alone, I also love exercising with friends. Whether it’s a workout class at a gym with a friend, an early morning exercise video with girlfriends before work, or walking my dog with neighborhood friends, I greatly enjoy having workout buddies. The social and physical benefits of exercising with others makes me feel great overall.

Do you have a workout buddy? Here are six reasons to consider working out with a friend.

1. You’ll have accountability

If you’re like me, you’ll show up to appointments you make with other people but it’s harder to keep commitments you make with yourself. Having a workout buddy provides you both with accountability. When you have a workout buddy, it motivates you to get to the gym at a certain time. It’s easier to get into the habit of exercising consistently when you put exercise on your schedule and you know someone else is counting on you to show up.

2. You’ll have someone to try new things with

Being bored with an exercise routine is a common reason people stop exercising. Trying new activities can help prevent boredom with your workout regimen. Often, people are intimidated to try new things. Exercising with a friend can help give you the courage to try new workouts.

Whether it’s a new competitive sport, a fun and unique recreational physical activity, a group exercise class you’d be scared to do alone, or a weightlifting technique you haven’t tried, having a workout buddy can give you the push you need to get started with a new type of exercise. Varying your exercises not only relieves boredom, it allows you to strengthen different muscle groups.

3. You’ll always have a spotter

With certain weightlifting exercises, it’s important to have a spotter to prevent injury. Working out with a buddy guarantees you’ll have a spotter near you at all times. As always, if you have any questions on spotting technique, seek the assistance of a certified strength and conditioning specialist or certfied personal trainer.

4. You’ll push yourself harder

Sometimes doing things in a group makes you push yourself harder. I know this is true for me; I’m not going to skip my last couple repetitions of a strength training exercise if I know someone is watching.

Working out is often the precursor to doing other awesome things in your life. When you prove to yourself you can push through those last two repetitions, or crush it in bootcamp class, or run that first race, you begin to realize you can do amazing things, and this confidence can transfer into other areas of your life.

5. You’ll get social time and workout time

This is one of my favorite reasons to exercise with a friend. Not only do we get our workout accomplished, we get some socializing in too. Although I love socializing over happy hour, exercising with a friend allows me to get my “friend fix” while working on out fitness goals, and I always return home feeling recharged socially and stronger physically.

6. You’ll benefit from the camaraderie

The majority of people are social and enjoy spending time with others. Exercising in a group setting gives you the opportunity to interact with others in an invigorating environment.

Many people who start a workout class together have a common goal of improving their fitness, and along the way, they become good friends. What a great way to start new friendships.

In today’s world, where we are constantly connected over email and texting, putting down our phones and getting involved in group exercise can give you real, in person, connection with others as you work to get fit.

It’s time to get out of your house, grab a friend, and get your workout on!

Featured photo credit: DSC_0270/Gregor via flickr.com

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5 Popular Types of Instagram Photos That Can Get You More Likes

“Post some Instagram photos!”, she said – “It’ll be fun!”, she said. Truth is, Instagram IS fun, gratifying even, as long as people are liking your photos. That’s sometimes easier said than done, however. We’ve all been there, sitting pretty with a brand new Instagram account, getting less than 3 likes per post, wondering, “How on earth am I supposed to know what other people want to see?”

Never Fear.

Check out 5 of the most popular types of Instagram photos we could find.

1. Quotivational Instagram Photos

Everyone has seen them at one point or another – these type of posts, though they seem corny at times, can be motivational and inspirational. They’re simple, easily digested, catchy and applicable. If you’re looking for a good way to quickly convey bite-sized pieces of information, this might be a good type of post to look into. Keep your message short and relatable, and the likes will come pouring in. An awesome example of an Instagram influencer making use of these posts can be found in British supermodel Cara Delevigne. Fitness and entrepreneurial Instagram accounts tend to favor these types of photos as well, spanning a wide variety of demographics – displaying it’s versatility.

2. Organizational Instagram Photos

No one knows why, but perfectly crafted pictures of neatly arranged objects filling the screen has always been a popular tactic among many Instagram influencers. Maybe it’s the little bit of Type-A present in each of us, but the premise is simple – appeal to the human urge for order. If Herschel Supply can use the opportunity to promote the spaciousness of their line of backpacks – just imagine the possibilities you could tap into with a little clever thinking and strategic research.

3. Seasonal Instagram Photos

One of the easiest trends to capitalize on involves posting season-themed photos around big holidays. Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Valentines Day, etc. Everyone’s attention is already going to be fixated on the day at hand, so give them more of what they want! Instead of a picture of your dog – try a picture of your reindeer. Spice things up with some snowflake latte art. Valentines Day? Hearts. Hearts everywhere.

4. Text Message Screenshot Photos

Ever felt the urge to snoop on your neighbor’s text conversation? Don’t lie, we’ve all done it. Who doesn’t want a peek at forbidden knowledge!? Try capturing that addictive quality with humorous screenshots of text conversations. They don’t even have to be real conversations. One humorous account displayed texts just between a dog and his owner! Real stories are great too though – some encounters just can’t be made up. Some of the most popular Instagram accounts are comprised entirely of photos like these.

5. User Generated Instagram Photos

This one is tailored a bit more to people with a product or service and a captive audience. Getting your followers actively involved is a great way to boost sales or increase your followers. For example, when Calvin Klein ran their #MyCalvins Instagram promotion, they encouraged their users to capture appealing moments by promising a chance at being shared from Calvin Klein’s main account. Not only did this become wildly popular, it sparked viral sharing.

Create Your Own Ideas

If you’re looking to create your own type of idea, or are just looking to put a new spin on one of the classics above, you’re going to want to look to popular Instagram influencers who have inspired and amazed countless others. Take what they’ve done and build off it. Create something using tried-and-true principles, but put your own twist on it. Post Instagram photos that uniquely represent you. Always remember that the real reason people are following you – is you.

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