Tema: Valor
Tudo é caro de mais quando não é necessário
via @notiun
quinta-feira, julho 23, 2015
Lama, Dalai
Acredito que o objetivo da nossa vida seja a busca da felicidade. Isso está claro. Quer se acredite em religião ou não, quer se acredite nesta religião ou naquela, todos nós buscamos algo melhor na vida. Portanto, acho que a motivação da nossa vida é a felicidade.
@notiun
@notiun
Beethoven, Ludwig
Não há nada de mais belo do que distribuir a felicidade por muitas pessoas
@notiun
@notiun
Don’t lose a diamond while chasing glitter.
Don’t lose a diamond while chasing glitter.
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After Breaking Up – How To Overcome Separation And Loneliness
After a break up, managing and dealing with the separation, along with appending loneliness is bever an easy task, especially for women.
In all of its forms, loneliness can be best described as a complex emotional state in which the sufferer feels uncared for, unattached, rejected or unattended to; over a short or even extended period of time. The psychological and emotional scale of loneliness can be so severe that it often leads to unexpected behavioral changes, suicidal tendencies, paranoia, or even death. But its complexities are even much worse when loneliness occurs as a result of unwanted separation from a loved one through death, divorce, family segregation, or from a needed relationship.
For you to understand the impact of separation on loneliness, you would first have to understand that (unwanted) separation is the distressing removal of a person or place from the ordinary strata of one’s life in as much that the affected person feels that their existence is almost useless without that missing person or place. And if you should put both of these together, then one can better understand the sufferings of a person who have to endure the pains of separation and loneliness.
In almost all cases, professional intervention by a psychiatrist, a counselor, or similarly skilled professional is often required in order to contain the ramifications of this dreaded emotional scourge. But even outside of that, there are still so seemingly simple but effective things that you can do to deal with separation and loneliness depending on what had triggered it in the first space.
So if it occurred from the perspective of a separated partner or a divorce; you can take these five simple tips into account, and you should soon be on your way to a little normalcy again.
1. Accept (no matter what) that it is over, and that you have to move on to another phase in life.
After all, one of the biggest failures of people whose partners have walked away from them, is their inability to accept the separation or accept that the person wants to move on.
Pleading and begging the person to stay would only place them several times above you, and leave you to nothing more than being a weaker emotionally wrecked partner in an already lost relationship.
2. Accept that loneliness is normal.
One of the worst things that you can do after a separation is crying yourself out because you are going to be lonely.
It will be ok to cry, but cry only because you can’t believe you had wasted so much of your time with a jerk that was not really worth your time anyway.
For me, you will do yourself a good if you can accept the fact that loneliness is normal. If you can accept and understand that loneliness can also help you to reflect on yourself and your life in a positive way, then the impact of it will be positively felt.
Open your eyes and see loneliness as your personal time away from the whims, dependency and selfishness of other people.
Do not go running to a club or fun places in a bid to fight off that loneliness. After all, it might be a good thing to be lonely sometimes.
No need to fight it. Because it is a process that takes its own time, no matter how big the crowd that you are standing in.
If you can accept that loneliness can be a good thing too, then you won’t have a problem being without the no-good person that walked away from you.
3. Do not try to force yourself to forget the person.
It will be ok to remember them, but focus on the bad, the drama, the pain, the stress, the misery, and the humiliating aspects of that relationship you had with them.
Even if you can repeatedly think about just one regretted or messy moment of your time with them, I can assure you that you would begin to feel happy that you had let them go, and may even begin to hate the thought of being with them, ever again.
4. Do not call, text or show your emotional side to them.
In most cases, when a guy or a girl dumps you, he or she my indirectly tests their emotional control by waiting for you to call his or her phone first to find out why they did what they did or what went wrong in the relationship. From the moment you calls him or her with that clumsiness or start giving your ex updates about your life, I can tell that he or she would be smiling on the other cheek because it tells them that you are weak and that you can’t do without him or her.
It will also be a good thing if you simply ignore his or her calls, their messages, and their social connections. He or she would soon come running at your door or at your job with a clumsy reason why they had to see you. But let your common sense take control, and let ex know that you already accept that it’s over, and that they are just cramming themselves into your new found space.
And please make your statement very, very short. Thank you. Because having a lengthy meeting with your ex would be nothing more than one of their emotional tricks to bend you back in.
5. No matter what, do not rush into another relationship.
Some people think that if they call and spend time with the other guy or girl that was hanging on at the side of them, they would get some emotional help. Some even rush into romancing the new kid on the block that they give their email or phone number to a few weeks before their break up.
Well ladies and gentlemen, I want to tell you that your new partner knows that you are nothing more than an emotional wrecking ball who would do anything to impress your ex or maybe satisfy your stupid emotions.
In such a case, you would have no one to blame but yourself, and you would soon have to be crying for the separation of two persons from your life. And frankly, I don’t know what advice I can give you to survive two stupendous separations.
So it is always best to wait it out, even if it means for two years, before committing to anyone again.
It would make no sense you go into a new union, when you have not overcome the pains of the other.
Overall, surviving separation and loneliness has more to do with your own self discipline, your self-respect, and your ability to stick to your determination to survive it, no matter what.
And if you did, I would like you to tell me how you did it.
I’ll be waiting.
Featured photo credit: sunset with lonely woman via static.pexels.com
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5 Ways To Transform That ‘Rut’ You’re Stuck In Into The Best Thing That’s Ever Happened To You
We’ve all been there – dumped just before our exams, burgled just after buying that new Plasma, or given a bad haircut just in time for an all important first date. We’ve all had that delayed train before a job interview and gone to bed at 6pm, face down in the pillow, very ready to give up to that blissful world of the unconscious. But ladies, gents, folks – there are five ways you can turn that concave rut upside down into the hill that’s going to raise you above the clouds.
1. The Bounce Back
Who says you have to sit back and take it? You get dumped, you jump straight back onto that Tinder bandwagon or that loco Happn train. You haven’t lost what you loved – you’ve dodged a bullet and opened yourself up to a whole world of possibilities. You don’t have to stay in and snuggle on Saturdays (grossss) you can go wild on the town, meet new people, make new memories. You can be Miss or Master Independent, the magician of your own destiny. Just look how strong you are.
2. New Hobbies
So life’s lost a bit of colour lately? You need some new paint pots. How about a life drawing class? Or maybe a weekly pub quiz with your favourites? Whatever it is, a swing dance class every week, a bit of Dungeons and Dragons, maybe you want to join a sex circus – no judgement here, the worst thing you can do is shove it to the back of the pile. Throw yourself into it and embrace a whole new world of different.
3. Make lists
Be careful with this one, because there is a thin line between a few post it notes and a 50 page Word Document (that way madness lies…) But if you’re struggling to see what you’re worth, a post it note every day can prove a whole host of talents you hadn’t even noticed in yourself. Tick off your achievements, whether it’s finally ordering that stupid hat your mate wants for her birthday, or applying for that position you really want, or taking the leap and asking bus babe for those all important digits – whatever the goal, take steps to get things done and you’ll be amazed at how much you can do.
4. Find your friends
When you’ve fallen down a pit, sometimes the only way to really climb out is with a little help. We’ve all had those friends and those more than friends who have dropped us. So use this time to discover which hands reach in to pull you back out – the rut is not a fun place to be, but at least it can help you to discover some harsh truths. The ones who text you every day, who offer those important phone calls, who are planning things to get you excited about – these are the people you need in your life. When you’re low, always take a moment to remember these little jewels in your social calendars and your message inbox and you’ll suddenly remember that you’re not in a rut at all.
5. Travel
It can take a lot to push someone into travelling. It’s a scary business – all that hard work to save up for those outrageous flight costs, the strangers you will encounter, the signs and the ingredients lists in a language that you just don’t understand – it all takes guts and energy. Use your rut to launch yourself into something totally new. Don’t run away from your problems (you’ve booked a return flight, remember…) but why not see the world, get some fresh perspective and discover new things about yourself? There’s no need to let things weigh you down. Get angry, get determined, and use that adrenaline to face your fears and explore what life really has to offer.
Featured photo credit: Stockpic – Ed Gregory via stokpic.com
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You can be comfortable or courageous, but you cannot be…
You can be comfortable or courageous, but you cannot be both.
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Here Are 3 Occupations With an Extremely Positive Future
As unemployment rates shrink, individual industries and job markets are heating up. There is, once again, promise for young professionals looking to climb the ranks and reap the financial and personal rewards of a satisfying career. According the most recent numbers released by the Bureau of Labor Statistics in their biannual Occupational Outlook Handbook and Career Guide to Industries, the total number of Americans employed will increase by 10.1 percent – or 15.3 million people – by 2018.
While many jobs have opportunities for promotion, the following three stand out for unique reasons.
IT Security
According to the U.S. Department of Labor, computer-related careers are on the rise. From 2012 to 2022, the number of computer systems analysts in the country is expected to increase by 25 percent, while computer support specialists will see demand increase by as much as 17 percent (both figures are faster than the national average). These are clear indicators of the nation’s enhanced focus on IT and cybersecurity.
However, it may be IT security specialists that see the biggest growth. As cybercrime increases and computers become increasingly capable of storing more data, the emphasis on cybersecurity will become even more important. According to Anthony Sequeira of CBT Nuggets, a reputable IT training resource, “As we store more and more information in the cloud, the perceived gain and perceived harm that can be done to individuals is greater and greater – adding more numbers to would be attackers.”
In 2013, the average IT security analyst made approximately $88,590 – with the top 10 percent taking home a hefty $138,780. Even the lower end is well above the national average, with the typical starting salary somewhere around $50,430. Some of the top job markets include those in San Francisco, New York City, and Sacramento – with plenty of growth in other West Coast and northeastern hubs.
Biomedical Engineering
If you’re looking at the Occupational Outlook Handbook and Career Guide to Industries, the occupation with the highest anticipated growth rate from 2008 to 2018 is biomedical engineering. Whereas there were only 16,000 biomedical engineers in 2008, a healthy 27,520 are expected to hold the title by 2018. That’s a 10-year growth rate of 72 percent.
But why is this industry growing so rapidly? It’s likely due in part to the aging population and an increased focus on health issues. Naturally, health professionals (and the general public) will continue to demand better and more superior medical equipment and devices for better healthcare. In 2008, the median annual salary for a biomedical engineer was $77,400. The current mid-career median annual salary is now somewhere around $97,800.
Audiology
For those who want to work directly with people but prefer low-pressure environments, audiology is an ideal career. “If you don’t like stress but still want a career with good prospects and a decent salary, consider becoming an audiologist.” That’s what Alan Farnham of ABC News writes, referencing a 2014 report by CareerCast.com.
Audiologists are professionals who treat patients with hearing needs. You’re now required to hold a clinical doctoral degree to be a certified audiologist, but the rewards are worth it. The industry growth rate is well above the national average – hovering somewhere around 19 percent (according to the U.S. Department of Labor Statistics).
According to PayScale.com, an Audiologist’s average annual salary is $63,579. The top 10 percent make more than $85,000 per year. Low stress, high outlook, and a salary potential of almost six figures? Not a bad industry to think about.
Launch Your Career Today
Now is the time to start a career in one of these four fields. In addition to having positive outlooks, each of these opportunities is interesting and rewarding. Reach out and make connections in order to get a foot in the door! Sometimes all it takes to get started is a willingness to ask the right questions.
Featured photo credit: FirmBee via pixabay.com
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17 Common Mistakes Ex-Spouses Make When They Begin Dating
Let’s play an association game.
Think of something you dread.
What came to mind? A trip to the dentist? Dating after marriage?
Both stereotypically are considered unpleasant. However, dating after marriage doesn’t have to be.
1. Don’t be oblivious to the world around you.
You might think getting informed about local, national, or international affairs of the day and what’s going on in the world of sports have nothing to do with your romantic life, but the truth is: they do.
When you are newly dating, struggling to invent conversation topics that don’t have to do with your children or ex may be a challenge.
Being familiar with current events will enable you to break the ice—and the silence—if the conversation on your date becomes stilted.
2. Don’t talk about your ex spouse.
An episode of the old TV series Eight is Enough featured the oldest son attempting to date after divorce.
After an evening of hearing about his ex spouse, the woman headed for the proverbial hills, and he never saw her again.
3. Don’t just talk about yourself.
Since the point of dating is to get to know each other, many people erroneously think they should talk about themselves, so the other person gets to know them.
They certainly will learn about you. They will “learn,” correctly or otherwise, that you are “I” centered.
It it okay to talk about yourself; if your date is interested in you, and asks about you, of course, answer the questions. However, people appreciate being asked about themselves too.
4. Don’t just talk about your children.
Again, the point of dating is to get to know each other, not each other’s children.
If someone asks about your children, it’s great they are interested. However, you don’t want to give the impression that if your relationship becomes long-term, your children will be more important to you than they are. Put in-depth conversations about your children on the back-burner until you know each other better.
5. Don’t wear your wedding ring on the date.
If you are thinking that this should go without saying, I agree. However, I know a man who wore his wedding ring on his date. She is the one who told him to take it off.
I understand that removing a ring you may have worn for years could be emotionally difficult. On the other hand, if you are not ready to remove your ring, perhaps you are not ready to date.
6. Don’t bring your children on your date.
I know a woman who did this too. People are busier than they used to be. Struggling to spend time with your children, spend time with your date(s), and work in or out of the home is time-consuming.
It would be great if you could save time and see your children and your date together. Don’t. As mentioned in Point #4, you don’t want to give the impression that your children will be more important than your partner if your relationship becomes long-term.
7. Don’t meet at each other’s homes on the first date.
Even if the date doesn’t turn out to be serial date-killer Ted Bundy, you could send out messages your don’t want to send out, not this soon. There are plenty of public, well-lit places you can meet.
8. Don’t have sex on the first date.
I don’t know everyone, but I don’t know anyone who hasn’t regretted it.
9. Don’t try and replicate your ex spouse.
Cloning may be legal for animals, but it doesn’t apply to dating. Don’t look to replace the same person you married. There are reasons it didn’t work out. Figure out what they are before you try again.
10. Don’t use your date as a transitional object.
“Rebounds” are better suited to basketball than dating.
11. Don’t bring your problems on the date.
Your date wants to go out with you, not a “sad sack” or a “wet blanket.”
12. Don’t order lobster.
I have nothing against lobster. As a matter of fact, I love lobster. However, if your date is paying, you will give the impression that you are high maintenance. If you are paying, you will give the impression that you have a high bank account balance or you are trying too hard to impress.
13. Don’t waste the other person’s time.
If you are looking for the next person to swap rings with, and your date isn’t, you might not want to be taking up each other’s precious time.
I recommend having this conversation about whether or not you are looking for long-term sooner than later.
14. Don’t expect your date to change once you’ve spent more time together.
You may be initially enamored, but don’t be initially blinded. Or, you will be blind-sided down the road.
15. Don’t mix-up your dates.
No joke, I knew a woman who dated six men simultaneously. She expressed a concern that she would answer the phone before checking the caller ID, and wouldn’t recognize the voice of the caller. Check the caller ID before answering the phone.
There was a Seinfeld episode where Jerry couldn’t remember the name of the date he was with. He kept calling her “you.”
Get an app like Evernote. Put each of the names of your dates in a different note with their interests. Check the note before the date, so you remember what their interests are. This serves two purposes. You can ask about their interests, so you seem interested in them. Also, if you are dating more than one person, you won’t mix up their hobbies, jobs, and children, for example.
16. Don’t forget that “Beauty is only skin-deep.”
Model Christie Brinkley and the late actress Elizabeth Taylor are women known for their physical beauty, but they have each been divorced multiple times. Aesthetic appeal does not equal compatibility.
17. Don’t forget to reflect on past marital mishaps before you take the dating plunge.
You don’t want them to reoccur. They say “history repeats itself.” Don’t let that apply to your previous marital mistakes.
Divorce isn’t the only reason marriages end. Whether you are newly divorced or newly widowed, dating can be difficult, awkward at best. It doesn’t have to be—not if you follow these tips.
Featured photo credit: Drink At The BFI by Gary Knight via Flickr via flickr.com
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You don’t have to go fast… You just have to…
You don’t have to go fast… You just have to go.
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9 Ways Highly Successful People Get Ahead With The Mighty Checklist
The checklist is a simple and effective work hack that many professionals use to improve their performance. Whether you are a surgeon, pilot or software developer, checklists make a difference. They are one of the best ways to avoid problems and increase the consistency of your results.
1. They start with developing their expertise
A checklist puts knowledge into a useful form. However, you cannot get started with a checklist until you develop significant experience and knowledge. For example, if you are building a checklist for a monthly report, wait until you have issued the report two or three times before you create a checklist.
2. They recognize the limits of their knowledge
Successful people spend their own money to obtain additional knowledge – that’s a given. However, they also recognize that more knowledge is not the answer to every problem. In many cases, it is important to consistently and correctly apply the knowledge we already have. A checklist is a great way to improve consistency.
Tip: Resource How To Build A Checklist In 6 Steps.
3. They use the checklist to avoid “dumb mistakes”
Do you know that surgeons sometimes leave medical equipment inside patients? According to the Daily Mail, 870 patients in the United Kingdom had medical items left inside them from surgery between 2005 and 2012. That’s a serious problem! Fortunately, this type of error can be presented with a checklist step like “check all medical instruments are accounted for.”
4.They know about the limits of human memory
The human mind is a powerful resource that enables us to accomplish many of our goals. However, there are limits to our memory. For example, memories with a strong emotional aspect tend to last longer. That means a routine step in a work process – unlikely to have any emotional significance – is more likely to be forgotten. Those exact steps are great candidates to be included on a checklist.
Tip: 12 Simple Ways To Improve Your Memory.
5. They work to avoid the biggest causes of failure.
Successful people understand the value of managing risk. As Richard Branson explains in his autobiography, ““It is only by being bold that you get anywhere. If you are a risk-taker, then the art is to protect the downside.” A checklist is a great way to avoid failures. For example, to prevent problems during travel, make sure to keep a copy of your passport identification page.
Tip: 5 Great Questions to Ask Yourself After a Failure. If you fail, then you have the opportunity to learn from that experience and avoid that problem in the future.
6. They keep their ego and self-confidence under control
Successful people have a great deal of confidence. Their confidence gives them the ability to make presentations, make sales and get ahead. However, confidence makes it easy to skip important steps and details. A checklist reminds you of the importance of working through the most critical steps for a process, each and every time. For example, a wise security precaution is to change your personal passwords annually – no matter how confident you are about them.
Resource: 10 Ways You Can Do To Build Self Confidence Instantly.
7. They use systems to reach success rather than guessing
Successful people put their trust in systems. Once you find a proven method to achieve a result, why waste time continuing to experiment? A checklist is a great system that can improve performance in all areas of life. For example, you can use checklists to improve your evening routine and your professional presentations (e.g. use a checklist to check a presentation for formatting and consistent design).
If you are very keen to develop a system with a brand new activity, there are two options. You can do an Internet search for a template or checklist to use. Or you can ask an experienced coworker or mentor to see if they have a checklist that you can use.
8. They know the power of communication in working through problems
According to industry surveys, project managers spend 80% of their time on communication. It is a critical skill for high performance in all areas of life. Rather than make assumptions, successful people verify information and communicate proactively. With checklists, medical professionals often include communication steps (e.g. introduce everyone on the team by name and role). For a recurring activity at work, this approach improves results.
Tip: Find out Ten Ways to Improve Your Communication Skills.
9. They know how to work through conflict to their advantage
Successful people know that conflict is a reality in the workplace. Given that reality, professionals build habits and routines to reduce conflict and resolve conflict after it occurs. For example, a team building checklist could include one team lunch per month to increase social bonding in the team. In addition, connecting around common goals in team meetings tends to reduce conflict.
Resource: Continue your conflict management education by reviewing this guide to 33 conflict management resources.
Featured photo credit: Checklist/DS355 via flickr.com
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